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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sad that no one would help

756 replies

Parpadew · 03/11/2023 06:55

Emergency last night and I needed someone to drive a forty minute round trip. That's all. Never asked for this or any favour really before. I offered to pay. No one would help. Not my mum, siblings. One friend would have but she's on holiday. Got a taxi in the end but it was sheer luck one turned up as it's not a well covered part of the country.

Feel really alone right now!

OP posts:
Nagado · 03/11/2023 07:01

I don’t blame you, that’s pretty shit.

Do you help them when they need it? If so, then it might be time to stop being so quick to offer help and start surrounding yourself with people like your friend on holiday.

sollenwir · 03/11/2023 07:03

I'm sorry you feel alone, it's not nice.
Did no-one want to help or were they unable to help? Was it something most folk would see as an emergencyin general?

Waterlooville · 03/11/2023 07:05

Context is probably meaningful. If you needed a lift to A&E then they should have helped. If your kid needed a lift to a club then I'm not so quick to judge.

Original poster
Parpadew · 03/11/2023 07:09

Context is rescuing someone from being stuck overnight at a train station after the breakdown yesterday. Small village so no public transport or hotels.

OP posts:
Original poster
Parpadew · 03/11/2023 07:10

I'd say I'm normal levels of helpful. Although I'm going to feel weird about any helping after this.

OP posts:
Holidayhell22 · 03/11/2023 07:13

Sounds odd that your immediate family would not help. Would it have meant them going out into the storm? If so they throws a different light on the matter.

PetsAreBetter · 03/11/2023 07:14

Rescuing someone from a train is unlikely to be seen as an emergency. Couldn't they call an Uber or a taxi as you have done? I wouldn't ask for help in that circumstance. If it was my child, I'd offer to pay for a taxi for them if I wasn't able to get them myself. Obviously I'd pick them up myself if that was an option. Also, some people aren't confident night drivers. Who was the person stranded? Someone who could reasonably be expected to sort themself out or a younger teen, for example?

Original poster
Parpadew · 03/11/2023 07:15

As above, no taxis. You'd let your partner sleep on a train (or platform if the staff leave) without asking for help? Ok ...

The weather was ok where the issue arose (no warning).

OP posts:
PetsAreBetter · 03/11/2023 07:17

Parpadew · 03/11/2023 07:15

As above, no taxis. You'd let your partner sleep on a train (or platform if the staff leave) without asking for help? Ok ...

The weather was ok where the issue arose (no warning).

Of course not, I'd have done what you did and got a taxi if I didn't drive myself. I'm sure he could have got a ride share service to come get him and bring him home. I wouldn't ask for help in this situation unless all other options were exhausted.

I am always available to friends and family in an emergency, but this has alternative solutions.

Dowhadiddydiddydum · 03/11/2023 07:17

Why did you parents and siblings say no. Did they give a reason.

itsallnewnow · 03/11/2023 07:17

That's odd why wouldn't they just get the taxi themselves lol I wouldn't help an adult like this either I assumed you meant it was an emergency like driving to hospital or something

justalittlesnoel · 03/11/2023 07:18

That's quite bad if I'm honest - I can understand one person being unable to help (childcare, had a drink etc) but unless all of them were sloshed on a Thursday or all going solo with kids, not a single one could help?

I've done longer trips last minute for my stranded sibling - taxis here are run by one company (depending where you are) and quite often just aren't available. UBER isn't a thing here 😂

Original poster
Parpadew · 03/11/2023 07:19

The reason was they didnt want to. Maybe this thread is making me feel better because while I think it was horrible and right and lazy of them perhaps that's just the standard now. I would absolutely never have done this to them.
And, as above, there were no taxis because of the nationwide collapse in the train system. It was absolutely luck of the gods that I found one after five hours.

OP posts:
Karev · 03/11/2023 07:19

Was it a case of wouldn't help or couldn't?

Lots of people have a drink in the evening so can't drive, it was also horrible weather so if you weren't a confident driver it's vest not to drive, or something else, eg I can't drive at night due to an eye condition.

Original poster
Parpadew · 03/11/2023 07:20

Yeah @justalittlesnoel in my case there would have been a high chance I'd had a wine but my family don't really drink.

OP posts:
BendingSpoons · 03/11/2023 07:20

It's hard for some people to understand the lack of taxis. Without a doubt my parents would have done this for me, as would my brother if it was really needed I hope! I would have done the same. Maybe they didn't really grasp why he couldn't wait for a taxi or were worried by the storm.

AlwaysPrettyOnTheInside · 03/11/2023 07:20

Parpadew · 03/11/2023 07:15

As above, no taxis. You'd let your partner sleep on a train (or platform if the staff leave) without asking for help? Ok ...

The weather was ok where the issue arose (no warning).

How far is the walk from the station?

Mumtime2 · 03/11/2023 07:20

It was 40mins from your home in a quiet place?
I would have walked.
Who knows why others didn't help, have you asked?

PetsAreBetter · 03/11/2023 07:21

Parpadew · 03/11/2023 07:19

The reason was they didnt want to. Maybe this thread is making me feel better because while I think it was horrible and right and lazy of them perhaps that's just the standard now. I would absolutely never have done this to them.
And, as above, there were no taxis because of the nationwide collapse in the train system. It was absolutely luck of the gods that I found one after five hours.

Well, in that situation, yes they should have helped unless there was a good reason not to. I know how hard it can be to get taxis and the like in those kind of situations. That changes it to 'emergency I will help with'.

Theraffarian · 03/11/2023 07:21

I’ve lost count of the times I’ve done a 40 minute plus journey to pick my husband or daughter up from a train station when the trains have suddenly terminated a few towns over . So yes I would do it , but neither of them would call it an emergency rather a nuisance and would get a taxi if I wasn’t so obliging.

Would I get out of bed to pick up an adult sibling , probably not unless they were actually stranded rather than couldn’t be bothered to call for a cab .

SeulementUneFois · 03/11/2023 07:21

That's shit OP.

Definitely treat them going forward like they treated you this time.
With no guilt - if it's good enough for them, it's good enough for you.

EllaPaella · 03/11/2023 07:22

I would have come to get you OP. I would have done the same for any friend or relative providing that I was able to drive.

Intelligenthair · 03/11/2023 07:22

That’s shit of them; i’d have helped you.

ObsidianGrape · 03/11/2023 07:23

So everyone left you stranded at a train station for 5 hours? Was this at night? Yeah that is pretty mean of them. Did they know you were there that long?

Was the journey walkable?

Original poster
Parpadew · 03/11/2023 07:23

Does everyone here live in London then? Think a village about 20 minutes drive from the nearest place with a hotel or taxi rank or bus.

OP posts: