Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sad that no one would help

756 replies

Parpadew · 03/11/2023 06:55

Emergency last night and I needed someone to drive a forty minute round trip. That's all. Never asked for this or any favour really before. I offered to pay. No one would help. Not my mum, siblings. One friend would have but she's on holiday. Got a taxi in the end but it was sheer luck one turned up as it's not a well covered part of the country.

Feel really alone right now!

OP posts:
SocialistSally · 03/11/2023 07:42

For my sister I’d go definitely. If it was my BIL stick at a train station, I’m not so sure. He’s a bit of a prick and I don’t like him 😂. I would guess that they don’t like your partner very much.

But I probably would. I wouldn’t say it was an emergency though.

GladysHeeler · 03/11/2023 07:43

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 03/11/2023 07:41

I still don’t understand who was where. Who was at the train station? Why was it an emergency? Waiting at a train station for a taxi to become available is boring but not an emergency.

Have you read any of the OP's posts?

Itsnotchristmasyet · 03/11/2023 07:43

MissBeevor · 03/11/2023 07:39

i think there’s missing context here, OP. Was the person a child or adult — why couldn’t you get them? I don’t drive (medical reasons) but wouldn’t have been asking someone else to put themselves unless it was a medical emergency or involved a stranded child.

Stop being so obtuse.

A child is not going to be travelling alone at night.

OP is an adult and couldn’t get home.

If you would be fine walking 3.5 hours home in the dark in a rural area, then more fool you.
Most of us have much more common sense than that though.

RaininSummer · 03/11/2023 07:44

All these people who are scared of the dark and have had a drink every evening are ridiculous. I would have grumbled a bit but picked you up I think. Who on earth would walk around a ten mile or more distance in this situation if it's a 20 min drive?

MissBeevor · 03/11/2023 07:44

Hang on, you were the one stranded, OP? I got confused when you said ‘partner’ up the thread, and thought you’d been ringing around on behalf of someone else stranded.

PetsAreBetter · 03/11/2023 07:44

s4usagefingers · 03/11/2023 07:40

I think most people posting don’t understand rural living. You can’t just walk on country lanes it’s too dangerous. Best thing you could hope for is a kind stranger to give you a lift usually. They were very shitty to just leave you there if they were able to come but just didn’t fancy it.

I am semi-rural and it takes an emergency to get me to drive the nearby rural roads at night. I'm not sure I'd do it for anyone other than my husband or children as I always feel at risk. I was driving them the other night, very slowly as it was pitch black, narrow roads, right turns, no light from anywhere, using high beam. No way do I do that if I don't absolutely have to.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 03/11/2023 07:44

GladysHeeler · 03/11/2023 07:43

Have you read any of the OP's posts?

Show quote history

Yes, I have - they don’t answer the questions I’ve asked so what’s your point?

itsgettingweird · 03/11/2023 07:44

I'd love to live in a world where a taxi fare was just something someone can afford and suck to pay.

But luckily I live in one where friends and family help each other.

Yanbu. The world is becoming a selfish and insular place. It's sad.

DrinkingMyWaterMindingMyBiz · 03/11/2023 07:45

I’m sorry to hear this OP. I had something similar a few years ago when I needed someone to take me to A&E in a genuine emergency, and DSis said no. No reason for it, just no. Getting a cab was tricky so I ended up calling an ambulance. I was kept in hospital for a good few days afterwards, so it wasn’t a minor thing at all.

I’m not one to hold grudges so we moved past it (on the surface level) very quickly, but it certainly changed our relationship. I would never rely on her for help again.

Bellyblueboy · 03/11/2023 07:45

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 03/11/2023 07:41

I still don’t understand who was where. Who was at the train station? Why was it an emergency? Waiting at a train station for a taxi to become available is boring but not an emergency.

OP is deliberately not telling us who was at the train station.

her family might not have even known this individual. Someone she had recently started dating? Or her husband who they hate?

she didn’t ring her sister to rescue her, she asked on behalf of someone else. But won’t tell us who or why she was their only option.

Lucyintheskywithadiamond · 03/11/2023 07:46

How old is the person who needed picking up? What time was it? Who was the person?

wesurecouldstandgladioli · 03/11/2023 07:46

Parpadew · 03/11/2023 07:30

I will just conclude by saying this has permanently damaged my relationship with my sister in particular. I don't know if she will realise it but... If you care about your family don't abandon them when they ask for your help (especially if they absolutely never usually ask).

Glad you are finding your anger.

Don’t put yourself out for these people ever again.

curtaintwitchersannonymous · 03/11/2023 07:46

itsgettingweird · 03/11/2023 07:44

I'd love to live in a world where a taxi fare was just something someone can afford and suck to pay.

But luckily I live in one where friends and family help each other.

Yanbu. The world is becoming a selfish and insular place. It's sad.

so you don't want to pay for your self, but would expect someone else to carry the cost for you?

WalnutBlue · 03/11/2023 07:47

A taxi is not always available depending on where you live, also a 3 hour walk is not reasonable in the dark.
Some people need to get off their high horse put in a similar position you'd be pretty disappointed if left stranded and no one helped.

PersephonePomegranate23 · 03/11/2023 07:47

Are people really so dim they can neither read nor understand that the train broke down somewhere remote where there are no taxis, hotels, and walking is not suitable?

No, OP, you're not unreasonable to think that family would help if they were able to.

wesurecouldstandgladioli · 03/11/2023 07:47

Lucyintheskywithadiamond · 03/11/2023 07:46

How old is the person who needed picking up? What time was it? Who was the person?

Edited

How is this relevant? A 3.5 hour walk at night is hard for anyone of any age at any time.

itsallnewnow · 03/11/2023 07:47

@smilesup

"You would let a family member sleep outside in November for the sake of 45 minutes? You sound lovely."

Ah but that's not what I said is it 😂 op originally had said she went to get her partner in a taxi so to most of us it sounded like
Taxis were available
No small children at home

So no it didn't sound like an emergency really?

I think just because they didn't help out with this specific thing Op doesn't mean they wouldn't help you out in another situation that was my point. To lots of people as judging by this thread an adults journey being inconvenienced isn't an 'emergency'

Sorry you feel like it's damaged your relationship with your sister irrecoverabley Flowers maybe have a chat with her about you feel she might not realise it was so important to you

Saschka · 03/11/2023 07:48

Mumtime2 · 03/11/2023 07:20

It was 40mins from your home in a quiet place?
I would have walked.
Who knows why others didn't help, have you asked?

It was a 40 minute drive. That could be 30 miles! I wouldn’t walk that, especially not late at night.

Itsnotchristmasyet · 03/11/2023 07:48

Bellyblueboy · 03/11/2023 07:45

OP is deliberately not telling us who was at the train station.

her family might not have even known this individual. Someone she had recently started dating? Or her husband who they hate?

she didn’t ring her sister to rescue her, she asked on behalf of someone else. But won’t tell us who or why she was their only option.

Show quote history

It was OP at the train station.
She literally could not make it clearer.

She’s said it was her that was stranded and that she couldn’t get a taxi and her family wouldn’t pick her up.

Some people can’t cope admitting the OP is in the right, so have to try and pick holes in their post.
Its pretty pathetic actually.

GladysHeeler · 03/11/2023 07:48

She has given that information.

Who was at the train station?
The OPs partner.

still don’t understand who was where. Who was at the train station? Why was it an emergency? Waiting at a train station for a taxi to become available is boring but not an emergency.

The train had broken down. There were no replacement buses. There were no available taxis. It's November, it was nighttime and there was a storm. They live rurally and the roads are not walkable at night in the dark.

DyslexicPoster · 03/11/2023 07:48

I'd be cheesed off too. Did you outright ask? Similar but different situation for me. But there are a few close family like my in laws, I'd never ask help from as they wouldn't even help if one of us was close to death ( consistently either say no to everything or voluteraly over help that they then refuse). For self preservation, when dh had a near fatal accident at work and needed to be taken 40 miles into a London major trama unit, I only called them once he was stable. They would have only added to my burden. My husband's work colleagues had to watch my kids, I didn't know a few of them. In laws would not have helped from past experiences so why upset myself begging? It's something you don't soon forget of get over. Dh work colleagues begging me to go in the ambulance and asking who could have my kids and honestly saying "no one" everyone though he was going to die including me.

DrinkingMyWaterMindingMyBiz · 03/11/2023 07:48

Bellyblueboy · 03/11/2023 07:45

OP is deliberately not telling us who was at the train station.

her family might not have even known this individual. Someone she had recently started dating? Or her husband who they hate?

she didn’t ring her sister to rescue her, she asked on behalf of someone else. But won’t tell us who or why she was their only option.

Show quote history

Just re-read OP’s posts and you might be right - I had thought was OP that needed collecting.

@Parpadew Was it you who was stranded or somebody else? Who was the somebody else in relation to those you’d rung around for help?

Bloom15 · 03/11/2023 07:49

Of course I would help if my family member or husband was stuck.

No problem with taxis here as I live in a large city but I understand that other areas exist!

That is shit OP - not sure I could get over that to be honest

WandaWonder · 03/11/2023 07:49

It was not an emergency, sure a pain in the behind for the person on the train

curtaintwitchersannonymous · 03/11/2023 07:49

I agree you are not really telling us anything. Who was stuck? where? on a train or in shelter or out in the rain? what time? How long for? With who?

Child stuck in on a dark road alone without a coat? definitely an emergency.

Adult stranded under shelter with others - definitely not an emergency

And I have lived rurally long enough never to travel without reflective band and torch - that is just basic common sense

Swipe left for the next trending thread