To think class rep is being homophobic?

[fuckedoffandworried]

DC has just started school. Another child in the class has two mums, I’ll call them A and B. We have a class rep who volunteered earlier in the term and collected contact numbers for the other class parents for a WhatsApp group, which is mostly the mums but a few dads too. A and B both do the school run, it’s probably A most days but B is there at least once a week. A and B are both in the WhatsApp group and both reply to messages pretty equally. The class rep is organising two social events and posted about them in the WhatsApp group last week. One for the mums and one for the dads. Most of the dads aren’t in the WhatsApp group, so the class rep asked in there for mums to send over contact numbers for their partners or kids dads so that the dads evening could be organised. A few of the kids in DCs class have divorced parents, so I think the idea is so both parents can be involved with other class parents. The class rep has made a separate WhatsApp group for the mums event and her DH has made one for the dads. They put A in the mums group for the mums event and B in the dads group for the dads event.

B asked if this was a mistake in the main WhatsApp group, and the class rep has come back saying that it’s not a mistake, it’s because she and some of the other mums have agreed it wouldn’t be fair for her and A to both come to the mums event. Most of the mums don’t know each other very well, and they want everyone to be in the same boat and mix with each other. They’re saying no bringing your partner to either the mums or the dads event, so A can’t bring B. The class rep has said she’s put A in the mums group and B in the dads group because she thought B would fit in better with the dads than A. A and B have both said they won’t be going.

AIBU to think this is homophobia and let the class teacher know?

Incredibly homophobic and sexist.

What a disgusting thing to do.

God forbid two people get there and realise that they know each other somehow, what should they do? Pretend they've never met? What a crazy set up!

This is all confusing and dumb. Why can't both mums just attend the mums event.

Why are you getting involved? Have they asked you to speak on their behalf?

Nothing to do with the school or the teacher. This should be challenged on the WhatsApp group. Class reps sound like a nightmare tbh.

That is awful. How can people be so tone deaf in this day and age. She is basically saying parent B is like a man!

I’d love to see what your class rep would do if a non binary parent was at the school. My kids have just finished at primary but I think it’s bizarre that they’ve split it into mums and dads, we don’t live in that sort of world anymore where everything is neatly divided by sex, we always socialised with whoever we got on with.

That is awful expecting B to go out with the dads when she's a Mum and even asked to go to the Mum's event. I would call the class rep out on this. Poor A and B.

No.

There is a dads even and a mums event. If the children were there it doesn’t change anything- the child would have an even with their mum, AND an event with their dad. 2 events, 2 parents taking part.

The child with gay parents would have an event with one of their mums, and then what? The other mum doesn’t go so the child only gets the involvement of one parent or other mum would have to pretend to be a man/dad? Which she isn’t. And she shouldn’t have to be kept from the event that is actually appropriate for her.

But since the kids aren’t going, its irrelevant.

Don’t involve teacher, but bloody hell, what an earth was she thinking 🤔 in this day and age as well

This is so unacceptable. The other parents need to show support for this couple by not attending the organised mums/dads events at set up another event.

That's terrible !

This is my answer too.

Not as far as I’m aware? Definitely only one DC at this school.

I think the two separate mums and dads events are because there are a few divorced parents in the class who can’t be in the same room as each other, it’s so both parents can be involved if they want to without having to see the other. But the events are very stereotyped men’s and women’s socials.

I’ve sent B a private message on WhatsApp but she hasn’t opened it.

Maybe report it to safeguarding so they can be aware of the toxicity they are spouting and keep an eye on their child

Yeah this is painfully awful. Cringing for her.

Doesn’t surprise me at all. My sons old school has mum only events often- the dads might organise their own events.

And this kind of casual othering and forcing of heteronormative structures is an everyday occurrence.

Very silly which is why I avoid parents' events like the plague. I would just tell B to say she is going to the Mums' event as she is a Mum. No drama - if she is just matter of fact, the organiser will just have to get over it.

Why, instead of having a ‘mums’ and a ‘dads’ event, do you not just have two events? So the super keen types can attend twice, and everyone has a bit of flexibility?

😂😂😂

Absolutely outrageous and you ought to say something

Usually not to do with the school but on this occasion I think this is such a serious issue it should be raised. Perhaps this woman should not be the class rep if she cannot help herself but be homophobic and even worse not back down when explained.

I’m surprised no one’s complained that they’re transgender or gender fluid!