To think class rep is being homophobic?

[fuckedoffandworried]

DC has just started school. Another child in the class has two mums, I’ll call them A and B. We have a class rep who volunteered earlier in the term and collected contact numbers for the other class parents for a WhatsApp group, which is mostly the mums but a few dads too. A and B both do the school run, it’s probably A most days but B is there at least once a week. A and B are both in the WhatsApp group and both reply to messages pretty equally. The class rep is organising two social events and posted about them in the WhatsApp group last week. One for the mums and one for the dads. Most of the dads aren’t in the WhatsApp group, so the class rep asked in there for mums to send over contact numbers for their partners or kids dads so that the dads evening could be organised. A few of the kids in DCs class have divorced parents, so I think the idea is so both parents can be involved with other class parents. The class rep has made a separate WhatsApp group for the mums event and her DH has made one for the dads. They put A in the mums group for the mums event and B in the dads group for the dads event.

B asked if this was a mistake in the main WhatsApp group, and the class rep has come back saying that it’s not a mistake, it’s because she and some of the other mums have agreed it wouldn’t be fair for her and A to both come to the mums event. Most of the mums don’t know each other very well, and they want everyone to be in the same boat and mix with each other. They’re saying no bringing your partner to either the mums or the dads event, so A can’t bring B. The class rep has said she’s put A in the mums group and B in the dads group because she thought B would fit in better with the dads than A. A and B have both said they won’t be going.

AIBU to think this is homophobia and let the class teacher know?

yep because homophobic people marry bi- sexual people all the time- not quite the same as “I have gay friends” (I also have those for the record)

so you did notice, but chose to ignore.

Make up your mind as to whether it’s relevant or not, because your post seems to think it is so important I should have disclosed it straight away. But then it’s also totally irrelevant. Mind you the only way you can get this now to sit with your narrative is to question not only my DHs sexuality but his very existence! Nice open minded thinking there!

Maybe just accept not everything and everyone fits into the nice little boxes you construct for the world!

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Friend_argument

Oh yes because marrying someone who is bi- sexual is exactly the same as having a gay friend.- christ

would you like another piece of straw to grasp?????

There was a thread on here very recently where the OP was subject to some extremely racist comments from her spouse.

Having a spouse from a particular group does not render someone prejudice-free.

Trying to trade on your spouse’s sexuality (or other characteristic) to deflect criticism of your own words or behaviours is not a good look in itself.

Quite.

Well my DH certainly exists - I’m sorry you’re now having to deny reality to make your narrative fit but there you are.

Oh dear, are you having to deny reality to make your narrative keep working. I’m sorry to shake your little world

Oh dear! Another straw?

I'm devastated.

"It wouldn't be fair for her and A to both come to the mums event."

FFS!! It's a bloody social night out, not an Olympic event.

Some people reallllly need to grow the fuck up

Oh and separate Mum's and Dad's socials is way out dated.

@Maatandosiris I’m sorry if you are upset- it was my intention to point out that homophobia isn’t ok, and that supporting it isn’t either- and that it’s extremely harmful to the community on the receiving end. I’m sorry that my tone has upset you, I am short tempered after years of dealing with this issue and have very little patience left.

It’s upsetting for gay people to constantly have to defend themselves and their children from bigotry. I was probably ruder than necessary however.

What’s Christ got to do with that? Please all of you here stop using holy names in vein. Argue as much as you all want but without using Christ’s name. Especially if you don’t believe and just habitually say it. Bad habit. Thank you

@JohnnysMama word of advice, kindly meant: don't try to stop people swearing on MN. It never ends well.

They're quoted in the trail you have responded to. However,, for starters (bold font sections are from messages you have posted):

How do you know that 3-4 of the women haven’t approached the class rep and asked for no couples?

So what if they have? It doesn't meant the rep has to comply, particularly bearing in mind that in the context of groups separated by sex that would mean only homosexual couples would be affected.

I have said earlier this could have been handled better by speaking to the couple and explaining. Maybe they could take in in turns to attend etc.

Why should they take it in turns when no other parents have to?

That pp took offence at the word ‘coven’ being used, so I’m sure can handle someone doing the same to her, i.e. asking someone not to use a word that has personal meaning to them.

I hope this was raised with the headteacher, not the classteacher, who couldn't act on it even if they wanted to. A head might either ignore it, or send out a strongly worded letter to parents to say no homophobia in class WhatsApp groups.

Set up your own WhatsApp group with nice parents only

Class rep doesn't sound like she'd pay much attention to a strongly worded letter.