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Original poster

To be envious that Victoria Coren Mitchell has a second baby at 51

598 replies

Monetm · 01/11/2023 21:57

https://www.ok.co.uk/tv/breaking-victoria-coren-mitchell-baby-31338022.amp

Just that, really. I’m sure there will be a lot of posts on here about it’s too old and she should have done it sooner, but given that she didn’t, I am envious that she has the money and the luck and the situation to be able to do it now.

Can you imagine how different women’s lives would be if we just didn’t have to worry so much about the end of our fertility?

Victoria Coren Mitchell, 51, gives birth to second child with David Mitchell

Only Connect presenter Victoria Coren Mitchell has welcomed her second child with comedian David Mitchell, and the couple announced the happy news on social media earlier today

https://www.ok.co.uk/tv/breaking-victoria-coren-mitchell-baby-31338022.amp

OP posts:
GreatShaker · 01/11/2023 22:59

No way was it a natural conception. I do think it’s slightly mad for both of them to be having a baby at their ages but worse things happen.

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 01/11/2023 22:59

Well put @RampantIvy.

I agree with all your points.

Timegoby · 01/11/2023 23:00

No I feel she is too old and she might look okay now and have energy but no way will she look good and have energy in 15 years time . But … her life so whatever suits

BeverForget · 01/11/2023 23:00

Money can buy anything...

WillowCraft · 01/11/2023 23:00

LittleRobinRedBreast2023 · 01/11/2023 22:50

Don’t start the normal nonsense of MN reading into things that aren’t there. I never once said I wish never been born for goodness sake. If you’ve never been the child with older parents you couldn’t possibly understand. I said I resented them having me later in life.

Edited
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Sorry if that came across wrong. Are they your biological parents? If they are then I don't really get the resentment based on age alone as there wasn't the choice to have you any other time.

Just thinking would 10 years make that much difference. My parents didn't like sleepovers and are very old fashioned but are not older (30 and 35 when I was born)

Being older doesn't have to mean being insensitive to young people.

Original poster
Monetm · 01/11/2023 23:00

SarahAndQuack · 01/11/2023 22:44

Yes, a pregnancy at 51 from embryos frozen at 43 would be conclusive proof there were no attempts in between those years. After all, unsuccessful attempts and miscarriages in your 40s are totally unheard of. Hmm

(Not that we even know that's what's happened, and IMO it's quite rude to speculate.)

Show quote history

I agree it’s rude and invasive to speculate (as I have done) and I certainly hope this thread doesn’t get picked up one of the papers that likes to use MN for news stories. But the flip side is that there are many non-famous women over 40 hoping it could still happen for them, while aware of how hard it can be, and when someone in the public eye is successful I think it’s sort of inevitable to wonder a bit about how they managed it, and what decisions they had to make (e.g. whether to go for IVF, whether to use a donor egg) as there are many non-famous women facing those dilemmas themselves.

OP posts:
Original poster
Monetm · 01/11/2023 23:01

Timegoby · 01/11/2023 23:00

No I feel she is too old and she might look okay now and have energy but no way will she look good and have energy in 15 years time . But … her life so whatever suits

Does she need to look good to raise a child?

OP posts:
FlyingPandas · 01/11/2023 23:02

I'm the same age as VCM and admire her hugely. I can imagine she and David are amazing parents. I'm not envious of them, no, as personally I would absolutely not want a baby now - but that's possibly because I've had my own 3 DC and am now at a point where I've done the babies, the toddlers and the early school years and am now really enjoying parenting my two teens and a preteen. Which is a hugely privileged position to be in.

But I can absolutely imagine that if you've never had children, or if you were only able to have one child and would have loved more, then the Coren-Mitchell news will inevitably stir up wistful, envious feelings. The urge to have children is so visceral and I think for those who have conceived easily, it's almost impossible to imagine the pain of those who struggle. We had secondary infertility (needed IVF to conceive a second baby) and I can still remember so vividly how awful that was. We also have various friends who have never managed to conceive at all and I'm sure they would have been over the moon with a new baby, whatever their age.

The Coren-Mitchells will no doubt have some amazing times, some gloriously happy times, some incredibly exhausting times and some unbelievably stressful times ahead of them with their young DC, like all families, but they have the financial resources to cushion the difficulties and I am sure they will handle it all with warmth and humour. Congrats to them!

KingsleyBorder · 01/11/2023 23:03

I’m surprised that she thinks siblings are a good thing given the one she was saddled with!

notahappybunny7 · 01/11/2023 23:03

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 01/11/2023 22:57

I couldn't imagine anything worse than having a baby at that age - not that I ever wanted a baby anyway. Does anyone ever think of it from the child's perspective?

Some people live till 100 and some die at 20. Your point?

longlostauthor · 01/11/2023 23:04

@FlyingPandas nicely put. Agree with every if you’ve said

notahappybunny7 · 01/11/2023 23:05

Monetm · 01/11/2023 23:00

I agree it’s rude and invasive to speculate (as I have done) and I certainly hope this thread doesn’t get picked up one of the papers that likes to use MN for news stories. But the flip side is that there are many non-famous women over 40 hoping it could still happen for them, while aware of how hard it can be, and when someone in the public eye is successful I think it’s sort of inevitable to wonder a bit about how they managed it, and what decisions they had to make (e.g. whether to go for IVF, whether to use a donor egg) as there are many non-famous women facing those dilemmas themselves.

Edited
Show quote history

Seriously? Pregnant at 51 definitely means donor egg or frozen embryos from a long time ago, and so what?

SarahAndQuack · 01/11/2023 23:06

WillowCraft · 01/11/2023 22:50

45 definitely isn't old for adoptive parents. People often come to it after infertility. And people foster into their 60s and 70s.

It's an involved process to adopt but there aren't many things that definitely rule someone out as long as you have reasonable mental and physical health

Show quote history

That doesn't tally with what I have seen.

Timegoby · 01/11/2023 23:07

No she can look a mess and be tired . She will be tired at 61 though. It’s her life though

picturethispatsy · 01/11/2023 23:07

MolkosTeenageAngst · 01/11/2023 22:35

Looking at all of the horrific things children are experiencing worldwide right now I don’t think having parents who are older than your peers parents is anything to worry about when deciding whether to have a child. Is it selfish for a parent with a history of mental illness or a family history of cancers etc to have children or for disabled parents to have children because their children might have to care for them at some point in later life or because they might die? I don’t think it is. Is it selfish that people continue to have children even when living in poverty or in unstable relationships or in literal warzones? Should procreating be limited only to wealthy young married couples? The reasons for choosing to have a child can be complex and nobody knows what Victoria’s journey to have this baby was like or how she weighed up decisions around that.

I am sure David and Victoria, who seem like grounded people and have the advantage of wealth, will be able to give their daughters a good life regardless of their age. Probably a better life than many of the mothers posting on here about abusive or absent partners etc will have. ‘Older parents’ is not one of the childhood ACES, just because it’s not what everyone would choose certainly doesn’t mean it is selfish or irresponsible.

Edited

This is a very good post.

That child will want for nothing. Just think of how many millions of babies are born into this world in LESS than ideal circumstances.

SO much judgement here about age.

I’m not far off her age and I’d love another baby. I’m youthful, fit, have plenty of energy. So sad to me how many women are exhausted and knackered by 40 😞

pinkhousesarebest · 01/11/2023 23:07

Fair play to them. They have the money to cushion any eventuality and she, for one, looks way younger. I had my first at 39 and remember thinking I was too young when the pregnancy test was positive 😂. They have kept us young and fit.
My best friend died at 35 leaving a one year old and three year old. Youth is no guarantee of longevity unfortunately.

Thmssngvwlsrnd · 01/11/2023 23:07

I am envious, as the mum of an only. I know this will sound stupid but when I see other people with only children it always makes me feel better about my own life. I always wanted a second, but had a miscarriage and a tfmr and I also had hyperemesis, which put me off trying again. I had a little cry when I read about this as I am the same age and will never be pregnant again. This is obviously a very selfish way if looking at it, as VCM is nothing to do with me and can have as many babies as she likes! It's just pure jealousy on my part. Good luck to her and her family.

Original poster
Monetm · 01/11/2023 23:07

@FlyingPandas i agree that was a nice thoughtful post but can we PLEASE now declare a moratorium on posters saying ‘oh no I certainly wouldn’t want one now, can’t think of anything worse, I’ve already had my three children long ago’ 🙄🙄🙄. You are totally missing the point of this thread

OP posts:
CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 01/11/2023 23:08

lightpineapple · 01/11/2023 22:59

Congratulations to them both!

In this day and age I'm impressed they managed to keep it under wraps (unless this was common knowledge and I've been living under a rock..)

I don't think they announced it, but I remember thinking in the recent episodes of Only Connect that she looked pregnant. During the wall round where she stands up, she often has the cards in front of her stomach but there were a couple of shots where I thought "oh she looks a bit pregnant there". I imagine it will get a bit more obvious as the episodes go on, depending on how close together they film all the rounds.

BackAgainstWall · 01/11/2023 23:08

Not envious in the slightest for a multitude of reasons.

One being she’ll be in her 60s when the child is still at primary school, and still a teenager when she’s 70.

The female body clock is there for a reason.

However I’m pleased for them, and especially for their DD.

LittleRobinRedBreast2023 · 01/11/2023 23:08

WillowCraft · 01/11/2023 23:00

Sorry if that came across wrong. Are they your biological parents? If they are then I don't really get the resentment based on age alone as there wasn't the choice to have you any other time.

Just thinking would 10 years make that much difference. My parents didn't like sleepovers and are very old fashioned but are not older (30 and 35 when I was born)

Being older doesn't have to mean being insensitive to young people.

Show quote history

Yes, they were my biological parents and I really didn’t enjoy having to look after them when I was just starting to live my own life and raise a family. 10 years would have made the world of difference to me.

Apologies if I came across as snippy, due to their age and wanting to have a child they made my life one of not having normal childhood experiences due to their age. Yes, they may have wanted a child but to be 30 and caring for elderly parents isn’t fun when when you have your own life and career.

Xmasbaby11 · 01/11/2023 23:09

It's not what I would want but they are great people, both of them, very funny and intelligent, and I'm sure they haven't taken the decision lightly. They will have plenty of help with their daughter if they want it - money pays for a lot. It buys a lot of choices.

I agree it would be helpful for others to know if it was natural or donor eggs / sperm.

Original poster
Monetm · 01/11/2023 23:09

Thmssngvwlsrnd · 01/11/2023 23:07

I am envious, as the mum of an only. I know this will sound stupid but when I see other people with only children it always makes me feel better about my own life. I always wanted a second, but had a miscarriage and a tfmr and I also had hyperemesis, which put me off trying again. I had a little cry when I read about this as I am the same age and will never be pregnant again. This is obviously a very selfish way if looking at it, as VCM is nothing to do with me and can have as many babies as she likes! It's just pure jealousy on my part. Good luck to her and her family.

It doesn’t sound stupid at all. Your post is very generous and thoughtful. I’m so sorry you weren’t able to have the second you wanted but I hope you get lots of joy from your one x

OP posts:
WhatapityWapiti · 01/11/2023 23:11

Bluekangaroo123 · 01/11/2023 22:29

I was almost disappointed to read this (completely irrationally). As someone with one child I find it quite validating when I hear about those with one child too. But just when you think you’re out of the woods you realise they’ve gone & had another! How dare they?! 😂

Me too, that’s exactly how I felt!

boako · 01/11/2023 23:11

I'm 51 and my children are all 19+. There is simply nfw I'd want to have a baby now.