To be envious that Victoria Coren Mitchell has a second baby at 51

[Monetm]

https://www.ok.co.uk/tv/breaking-victoria-coren-mitchell-baby-31338022.amp

Just that, really. I’m sure there will be a lot of posts on here about it’s too old and she should have done it sooner, but given that she didn’t, I am envious that she has the money and the luck and the situation to be able to do it now.

Can you imagine how different women’s lives would be if we just didn’t have to worry so much about the end of our fertility?

Very little parental help here as the surviving grandparents live 300 miles away (or are not interested in helping at all, but that’s another story) and I have no regrets at all - no mental health issues either - if anything it’s made our little unit stronger. I would have loved to have my mum on hand, but she died young of a freak illness. Very few families are in a perfect situation.

No parental help here, GPs are all between 200 and 300 miles away. I do wish they were nearer, for selfish reasons and so the kids could see more of them, but it's not such a terrible situation that it would have been better if I'd not had children.

We don't have any parental help as we live far away from both sets of parents, we don't find it a struggle at all if I'm honest. Family help with childcare comes with its own set of challenges IME.

Did anyone else read the Times article about Corey and the likelihood of late motherhood? They said late motherhood has risen in past few years and that it is very unusual without medical help - as some on here have said. They said that if you want 3 kids you should start at 23, 2 kids - start at 27 and 1 kid start at 35.

I was fascinated by the fact that of the couple of hundred older women each year who have babies around 3 are 65 years old!!!!!

*Coren.

Gosh just reading that article and I’m grinding my teeth. ‘Women delaying… women delaying… women delaying…’ Yeah, of course it’s always women, all by themselves, delaying pregnancy. There are never any posts on MN by women ready and keen to have a child but got a partner saying he doesn’t want them yet or at all.

Also: the right-wing press really hates it when an older woman (or any woman) gets what she wants on her own terms. They are, of course, right to make it clear to readers that getting pregnant at 51 without assistance is extremely unlikely. But it’s difficult to read those articles without thinking that at least part of the motivation is to tell women to get back in their box and start churning out the babies stat.

Ok reading a bit further down and maybe I’m being a bit unfair, they do make some good points, including that men need more educating about the decline in their own fertility.

I think you've hit the nail on the head re people not liking women who get to have it all. Even other women. And it works both ways. There's a narrative that being a woman involves on some level giving something up in exchange for something else. People don't like to think that this woman was able to have it all actually.

I'm embracing the end of my fertility, can't blooming wait. The idea of having a baby after 40 fills me with dread.

I'm sorry but this is nonsense.
It's not sexism it's the BIOLOGICAL FACT that women have a certain time window to have children while men do not.

There is also no health risk to a 51-year-old man who gets a younger woman pregnant.
Or a 70-year-old guy for that matter.

I have no moral or ethical judgement on Victoria Coren and David Mitchell and wish they'd have been my parents instead of my very young parents who while I love them dearly had a shitshow of a marriage.
(Mum was 18, dad 20) but nevertheless my mother was probably at the perfect biological age to have me. Absolutely perfect.

Victoria Coren is definitely not.
No way.
It's just daft to pretend otherwise, it would be wholly unreasonable to expect them to confirm how their baby came about (and rude!) however, it is very, very, very unlikely that there is anything natural about the way their baby came to be.

And yes this would have taken a huge toll on her physically.

I’d be amazed if she used her own egg, given her age.

I also happen to think it’s a really selfish thing to do to have a child at that age - she may not live to see her through to adulthood.

Examples like this are bad for women. You’re far more likely to miscarry at such a late age, meaning surrogacy becomes normalised as women look to outsource the carrying of a child. Developments like this aren’t as good as they may appear.

I was fascinated by the fact that of the couple of hundred older women each year who have babies around 3 are 65 years old!!!!!

Now that is selfish. There’s a strong possibility their babies will lose their mothers before they are 30. Surely a line has to be drawn somewhere.

I don't think that she has it all, at all. Getting your DC through A levels and university- it's a lot harder these days- when you are pushing 70 is not my idea of a good time. All power to her, but I am not in the least bit jealous.

Try not to judge but seems quite old

She doesn't have it all. If we're going to talk about having it all, that would probably be women who have women at 30-35.

They have years of being childfree and often still maintain a level of fertility. They've accumulated some wealth accumulated. They likely have parental help. Their friends are having babies at the same time. They are young enough to be around for their own grandchildren.

And I'm not in that bracket, so this is just an objective comment.

@Carmargo

No direct health implication of late fatherhood on the father himself, yes, but the implications for the child are significant.

Over 97% of the mutations in the human genome are a product of paternal age. Men don't have a menopause, but their gametes actually accumulate errors more rapidly than women's do, One benefit of us having evolved to have a menopause is that it protects the gene pool from eggs with extremely high mutational load, and there is no such protection from aged sperm.

Why is some of this written in aggressive bold letters? ( mansplaining )
Is a man throwing his toys out of the pram because women ignored his patriarchal views? Well, I never ;)

It’s very refreshing to see an older celebrity have a baby and not hire a woman’s womb to do it

Yes it's almost like it's our fault as women because we didn't know that all men would waste our time and lie about wanting kids, or wanted them then backtracked due to the cost, because men are that tight and money seems to be more important to them than love...

How many women here don't feel safe in public spaces because of men ie because of male sexual harassment? What are some of your experiences that have contributed to you not feeling safe?

Oh No definitely not lol. that time In my life is for me when my kids are adults, my eldest son will be almost 30 when I’m 51! Saying that she may think I was mad for giving up my 20s but good for her and I must say she looks amazing for her age!

👏

If women are allowed to change their minds on having kids after previously saying they didn't want them then so are men. Worrying about not being able to afford children is a legitimate concern. It's called being responsible.