To be envious that Victoria Coren Mitchell has a second baby at 51

[Monetm]

https://www.ok.co.uk/tv/breaking-victoria-coren-mitchell-baby-31338022.amp

Just that, really. I’m sure there will be a lot of posts on here about it’s too old and she should have done it sooner, but given that she didn’t, I am envious that she has the money and the luck and the situation to be able to do it now.

Can you imagine how different women’s lives would be if we just didn’t have to worry so much about the end of our fertility?

Personally I can't think of anything worse than a newborn at 51 but I was lucky enough to have kids in my 20s and 30s.

I doubt it was a natural pregnancy. This would be very very rare at her age. Was it a frozen or donated egg. Or maybe a frozen embryo.

Sounds like hell to me. Saying that though, I couldn’t see myself having children once I reach late 20s let alone 51 so my opinion is probably irrelevant!

No, it wouldn’t be worse for me personally.
Imo there’s a reason nature makes it basically impossible to get pregnant at 51. Your body isn’t designed for pregnancy and early child rearing at that age.
And thinking of people in my own life and when they passed, MIL at 64 for example, a baby at 51 is never something I would consider let alone actively chase.

Just to be clear, the question I’m asking is not: is it better to have a child at 31 than 51. I think we can all agree 31 is better. My question is, if you hadn’t had children till later, and you wanted children, wouldn’t you rather have a baby at 51 than never have one? AIBU to think a baby at 51 is better than no baby if you want one?

Sorry can’t figure out a way to edit my original post

I’m childless but even so I’m glad I didn’t get pregnant at 51. I assume with VCM it was a donor egg and IVF.

Well it wouldn't be my choice that's for sure

Plenty men have children at way older than 51. They are rich and will provide for their children. I think there's a world of difference between gaving all your children late and having some in your 20s and some in your 40s. This is what they are used to and they'll be fine and it'll be better for their older daughter to have a sibling. Good on her. Even if she's had help it's preferable to surrogacy which is the preferred celebrity route to late parenthood.

Their little girl isn't very old so maybe they wanted another child which is only natural. I love David and Victoria (Mitchell not Beckham 😂). Am happy for them but I'm 50 and it wouldn't be for me. I'm too tired now. 3 kids and 1 grandson ❤️

I thought this too. 52 is the average age for menopause and most women start going into peri about 10 years before that. I mean it doesn’t matter at all, it’s their lives etc and her body but I do think there is probably some tweaking involved.

Good for her etc but I’m 43 and I can’t think of anything worse. I’ve got two - aged 20 and 11 -and thank the lord my baby days are over. Never been a fan of babies !

I always said 38 was my absolute limit. My second was born 2 days before my 39th birthday. I'm perpetually knackered. The thought of a newborn at 51 fills me with horror!

Fair play to her, I like Victoria a lot and she strikes me as fairly tenacious, as well as passing for her late 30s!

I can't feel congratulatory. She's 51 with a newborn. She'll be 69 at their 18th. It's not fair on the child. Plus I bet my house she'll have a ton of paid help which makes it easier for her but it's still hard for a child to be born to parents of this age. I can't help thinking it's about the parents' wishes rather than what's best for the baby.

My thoughts on this is that by 51, surely to God I'd have made peace with being childless if that was my reality.

But that's a huge question!

What do you mean by 'later'?

I'm 39; I always wanted a baby. I can imagine scenarios where I might try again. But you take all sorts of things into account. Can I cope with another miscarriage? What if it's late miscarriage? What if I have to have a termination for medical reasons? Once you're through thinking about that - what if it's twins? What if we need fertility treatment - and how many times do we try? What if I get sick from the treatment? Can I keep my job through it all?

There's no situation where you're making a simple choice between 'baby' or 'no baby'. And especially if, like her, you already have a child.

Only if you only think of yourself, and short-term.

How many teenagers do you imagine would be happy that their parents are pensioners? That they'll have decades less with their parents than anybody they know? That their kids will most likely not get a chance to get to know their grandparents?

It's an awful and selfish thing to do, IMO.

Good on her! Not every single woman goes through peri/menopause the same clearly. There's no right or wrong in her choice, she did what she thinks is right for her and that's all that matters.

Yes I’m nearly 60 and still have two teenagers 😳

Slightly different - and massively outing - but I am in my 50s and I am the parent to a seven-year-old as well as a 16-year-old. My children are adopted. Believe me, if you knew my children’s birth backgrounds, you would appreciate that, aged as I am, I am the best possible parental option for them. I am financially independent and I am fit and healthy (with a BMI of less than 20). None of us knows when our time is up but I ensure every day that my kids know how entirely they are loved. When I am gone, they will be well taken care of.

I think it is much better for a child to be born into a stable marriage of older (wealthy) parents than into an unstable relationship between people in their 20s. There's a lot of judgement here about a situation which is nowhere near the worst you can bring a child into.

My DM was ten years younger having me and I still felt the impact of having 'an older mother', tho it's not in today's view I know. I'm not mid 40s yet and both my parents have gone after years of caring for them in their later years while I was simultaneously bearing and rearing my own DC. There's no guarantee for any of us of course and I wouldn't have swapped my DPs, but 51... it's going to be hard for the child most likely.

Sounds utterly horrific.

Did I read it wrong or is this her 2nd child? In which I kind of understand it less.

Amen.

Exactly. Believe it or not many women do make peace with being childless. Also If I’d had a baby at 51 I’d have been coping with an elderly parent with dementia at the same time.

Barbara and June.

Well, so long as everyone’s happy and healthy.

I thought she was looking quite fulsome in the current series of OC.