To be envious that Victoria Coren Mitchell has a second baby at 51

[Monetm]

https://www.ok.co.uk/tv/breaking-victoria-coren-mitchell-baby-31338022.amp

Just that, really. I’m sure there will be a lot of posts on here about it’s too old and she should have done it sooner, but given that she didn’t, I am envious that she has the money and the luck and the situation to be able to do it now.

Can you imagine how different women’s lives would be if we just didn’t have to worry so much about the end of our fertility?

Why not? Quite a lot of women are still ovulating into their fifties

Most of the people I know in their 60s have grandchildren, who they love dearly, but all admit that they find looking after them exhausting. There are several g/parents locally who are raising their gc for one reason or another - they all say how hard it is. My friend's uncle spent his late teens visiting his elderly father in a home.

Can you really not understand that most people start slowing down and finding things more difficult as they age - whether they live to 100 or not. Just because something can be done doesn't mean it should.

I know someone who had a baby at 54 after a few miscarriages. She's now 85, still frighteningly energetic and 100% with it mentally. Neither she nor her child regrets it for one moment.

drink

Really?

I think it makes MORE sense as a second:

1. you know you enjoy being a parent
2. You think it would be good for your child to have a sibling, especially if said child is likely to lose parents relatively young
3. you know what you are letting yourself in for

If you get to 50 without kids at all you’ve probably made a good child free life for yourself and can rationalise not having one, as it’s all just theory anyway.

I had decided that if I didn't have kids by 40, I would stop trying. Partly due to risks of older pregnancy and partly due to feeling it wouldn't be fair on the kid to have such older parents. (luckily dc arrived earlier)

51 seems madness to me. It's bad enough being menopausal with a teen. A rampaging toddler would be absolute hell. Although I'm sure she can pay for a nanny to sprint after them in the park and deal with the chucked food.

As a pp said, I would have made my peace with no children WAY before 51. No thanks!

Their other child is, I believe, 8 or 9, they married quite late in life.

For all anyone knows, baby could have been a complete surprise and they thought Victoria had completed menopause. Plenty have babies have come from that mistaken assumption! 😁 And it's not unknown for much older women to conceive naturally when that's been the case.

It makes no sense to say that you resented them having you later in life, because a baby conceived at any other time would not have been you. A different egg, fertilised by a different sperm would have resulted in a different person, not you. You would never have been born if your parents had not conceived you at the time they did , someone else would have. Therefore it amounts to saying you wish you'd never been born when you say that you wish your parents hadn't had you at the age they were.

I agree but for the losing parents bit- she’s 51 and most people live healthily till 80+ now

I expect they'll have a few pounds left to pay for carers.

I love both of them and if they are half as great in real life as they are on TV, their children are very lucky.

Also how is paying for nannies etc a positive? Surely if you’ve gone to extreme lengths to be a parent at 50+ and you must’ve, why would you want to just palm them off?

Well good luck to her - she and her husband seem very happy together - they have plenty of money to cover the hard graft of parenthood and just enjoy the jolly bits - good luck to them both.

Well get you Nancy Drew

Why such a bitchy response to a perfectly reasonable comment OP? Weird

Mumsnet: It’s selfish to have a baby at 50 because you’ll be 70 when they’re 20. How will they cope?

Also Mumsnet: As soon as your offspring hit 18 they need to move out immediately and buy their own home as they are now fully fledged adults. They can look after themselves now.

but can we PLEASE now declare a moratorium on posters saying ‘oh no I certainly wouldn’t want one now, can’t think of anything worse, I’ve already had my three children long ago’ 🙄🙄🙄. You are totally missing the point of this thread

Well, not really.
You asked if YWBU to be envious that someone has had a baby at 51.
Therefore, lots of people are answering you and saying, no, they are not envious. It sounds horrendous. Lots of people find health challenging enough in their 50s WITHOUT throwing a tiny baby, then toddler then infant into the mix.

So my answer is still, no, I'm not envious at all. I think YABU as it really isn't something to aspire to.

Well I wouldn’t fancy it myself but if they’re happy, good for them.

The child is hardly going be caring for them single handed in old age. They’ve got plenty of money for care.

Most people don't have high profile parents with (presumably) huge resources. They are both very intelligent, I'm sure they will find a way to cope.

Given that there's 8 years between this baby and her last, it's possible she didn't want to have a baby at 51 either but wasn't successful in pregnancies before now?

I am 51. A baby now would most definitely not be better than no baby. Oh lord.

I really disagree with PP saying this is selfish because the parents will be infirm/a burden when the child is only a young adult, their children won't know grandparents etc.

All sorts of things can happen in life. My parents had me when 28 and 29 respectively and were both dead by the time I was 44. They were not "too old" by all of your standards, but I spent years dealing with DM's early(ish) onset dementia and my younger child will only have quite limited memories of her in good health.

And some people (VCM strikes me as quite likely to be one of them) say they won't require care from their children and actually mean it and follow through.

I clearly said in my original post that the envy was in the context of the situation that she didn’t have children earlier (I.e. pre 40). People who answer by saying that they’re not envious because they already had kids ages ago are missing the point of the thread.

And yes, I know this is her second child. I’m talking about having the luck and financial situation to complete her family as she wants it later in life. That’s what I’m envious of.

I can't think of anything worse than another baby at 51 myself mind - or even now at 46!

Hasn't she already got one child though?

@Monetm I would not be envious even if I had no children. I would just be child free.