To be envious that Victoria Coren Mitchell has a second baby at 51

[Monetm]

https://www.ok.co.uk/tv/breaking-victoria-coren-mitchell-baby-31338022.amp

Just that, really. I’m sure there will be a lot of posts on here about it’s too old and she should have done it sooner, but given that she didn’t, I am envious that she has the money and the luck and the situation to be able to do it now.

Can you imagine how different women’s lives would be if we just didn’t have to worry so much about the end of our fertility?

People do realise that this is not VCM's first child? I think she is generally fabulous, and presumably she is happy about this new baby, but I don't think she has any idea of just how effing tired she is going to feel through her 50s and 60s!

It’s not ideal. Your egg quality would be poor at that age. High risk of abnormalities and autism. Harder to cope with this if you’re older.

Ah I didn't know she was pregnant, I can't remember how old their first is. I like them both so happy for them but no it wouldn't be for me.

Ha ha no. I like them both very much so congratulations to them both.

I've just checked, they also have an 8 year old girl.

I was almost disappointed to read this (completely irrationally). As someone with one child I find it quite validating when I hear about those with one child too. But just when you think you’re out of the woods you realise they’ve gone & had another! How dare they?! 😂

Pure guesswork (and it isn’t really any of my business) but I’d guess she likely had frozen embryos from IVF for her first child. If so then the egg is 43 or so not 51

But that's not the choice. She already had a baby, it wasn't 51 or nothing.

I'm happy for anyone who has a much longed for child, but I'm 45 and can't think of anything worse.

Looking at all of the horrific things children are experiencing worldwide right now I don’t think having parents who are older than your peers parents is anything to worry about when deciding whether to have a child. Is it selfish for a parent with a history of mental illness or a family history of cancers etc to have children or for disabled parents to have children because their children might have to care for them at some point in later life or because they might die? I don’t think it is. Is it selfish that people continue to have children even when living in poverty or in unstable relationships or in literal warzones? Should procreating be limited only to wealthy young married couples? The reasons for choosing to have a child can be complex and nobody knows what Victoria’s journey to have this baby was like or how she weighed up decisions around that.

I am sure David and Victoria, who seem like grounded people and have the advantage of wealth, will be able to give their daughters a good life regardless of their age. Probably a better life than many of the mothers posting on here about abusive or absent partners etc will have. ‘Older parents’ is not one of the childhood ACES, just because it’s not what everyone would choose certainly doesn’t mean it is selfish or irresponsible.

If she had frozen embryos from IVF at 43, why would she wait so long before using them? Also even at 43 the chances of success with your own eggs are low.

Am I envious? Not in the slightest. I can’t think of anything worse. At 51 most people are relieved that their kids are off their hands. - or almost. Congratulations to them as it is obviously what they want.

My thoughts on this is that by 51, surely to God I'd have made peace with being childless if that was my reality

Same here.

I think I'd look into fostering and adoption if it still hadn't happened for me by the age of 45. I know that's not the right path for everyone but personally I can imagine myself going down that road.

I don't think 51 is so old that it's selfish, as she will be able to raise her child to adulthood and I'm presuming she's stable enough to provide for her child too. The thing that would be hard is the generational gap. I had a baby at the age of 23 and his childhood is even different to my memories of school etc.. so to have a 50 year age gap between you and your child would be challenging in lots of little social ways I think.

My parents were 49 and 57 when they had me. It’s a terribly selfish thing to do imo. By the time my mother was 62 she had no idea of a teenagers needs, it was embarrassing when I think back. Her view of speaking about periods etc was out dated, it was something never to be spoken about. At parents nights my friends and teachers thought they were my grandparents. I never took anyone to my house. I wasn’t allowed sleepovers as they were “too tired”. Do I resent them for having me late in life? Yes, I do. By the time I was in my 20s they were pensioners and I was expected to look after them. I would never put that on a child by putting my own selfish needs first to have a child later in life.

Had my last one at 43. He's now 38. Far from looking after me, he offers to do jobs like cutting firewood but I am quite capable of doing it myself. In fact I had a new axe for Christmas last year!

I wish them all the happiness in the world.

There are far worse things in life than being born to
older parents.

My parents were worrying about their ageing parents when they were in their 70s. That wasn't easy either. Would have been easier with a bigger age gap

I wish her all the very best. I was a mum at 43. I’d have been happy to have been up to 10 years younger but would have been most unhappy to have a baby any earlier than that. Nothing about becoming a grandparent in one’s 50s appeals to me, 60s also feels too young.

It’s fine for her. There are no circumstances in which I would even be thinking about this.

Amazing positive story for any older women wanting a baby. But for me fuck that. My idea of hell and I'm 38. I would be far too bloody tired. My youngest is 11 (other's are 13, 16 and 20) and he would sleep until ten if left on a weekend.

So you don’t think lifelong childlessness would be worse

Being childless isn't necessarily the end of the world. I'd certainly rather be childless than have a newborn at 51

But if you were 45, had wanted children and hadn't had them, is it likely you'd be even considered?

It's so hard to be considered for adoption, or even fostering.

It wouldn't be for me. Mine will be heading towards late teens when I get to that age and I hope to be enjoying the next stage of parenting, which includes having some relaxing holidays without them.

So you wish you'd never been born? That seems an extreme reaction. Do you think your parents would have been different if they'd had you at 39 and 47?

Do you realise this isn't their first child OP, so your question of ' would you rather, 1 baby at 51, or be childless', is completely irrelevant to VCM having a second child.