Aibu to think my parents are still biological

[Dontknowwhoiamrightnow]

Last week I urgently needed my birth certificate. I couldn't find it, so ordered a copy.
A few days later the post arrives and there is a letter to say that the information I provided for the birth certificate didn't match, but they checked some other files and the certificate is enclosed.
It's an ADOPTION certificate!!! I have an adoption certificate.
I had no idea I had even been adopted!!
Backstory-: I lived with my "mum and dad". I had my mum's maiden name at birth.
My parents told me that my name was changed to my dad's surname when they got married two years after birth.
I was told this was so that we could all have the same name.
This was In the 1980's.
My mum does look like me and my kids, so I think she is my biological mum.
AIBU to think that my parents are my biological parents and they became my adopters, just to change my name OR is it reasonable to think that my dad is not my real dad.
I know, I'm clutching at straws, it seems more than likely he's not my real dad.... How do I make sense of it all? Is there really any chance they are both my bio parents and the adoption was just to make me legitimate?
I'm in bits right now and don't know what to do xxx

I could not wait. Ask your mum. 💐

I was adopted in the 1970's (by family members). The court issued a new short birth certificate. For most adopted children, I believe this was their only birth certificate as the laws allowing children to find out their family history came in later.

In my case, I actually have my original birth certificate as well because family members kept it for me.

Is there any chance you were born to another family member like your mother's sister for example and were adopted by your parents? I know of something similar happening in a friends family that only came to light when the child in question was in his 30s.

Friends of mine had this the father wasn't around to register the birth and they weren't married so she registered on her own and gave baby her name. When they sorted their shit out and got married he had to adopt the daughter. Your dad's probably embarrassed by a bit of arsewittery in your early days and your mum's covering for him. Just ask them

presuming England and wales, the register office indexes are free to search for births and deaths. https://www.gro.gov.uk/gro/content/. If north of the border then you need Scotlands people https://www.scotlandspeople.gov.uk/

freebmd also has E&W marriage records but not all have been transcribed yet as it’s a volunteer site, not a statutory one.

Do you have relatives other than parents to ask for more information in confidence?

I don't think there will ever be a good time to ask your parents, it's tempting not to ask at any time. How you approach it affects the mood of the moment, not just the subject matter.

Try to ask in a way that assumes as little as possible, calmly, and take your time how you respond to anything contrary to what you believed. The more understanding you are, the easier it is for someone revealing a secret, if there are any. If they're half decent parents, and there's secrets, it won't be motivated by malice but a different understanding of what's best for you

my late MIL “gave up” her out of wedlock baby, got married (to another man) and they subsequently “adopted” the baby whom everyone was led to believe was an arms length adoption when in reality her own child! (That was in the 60s though)

That's what I thought too. But I think you've got the right to some answers.

So I know that previously Dad's who weren't named on the original birth certificate (and where parents weren't married at the time of birth) had to officially adopt their own child in order to have parental rights. Is that possibly what has happened here? It might make sense if they weren't married at the time and wanted to give you his surname as well.

No you are suppose to change a child's and parents surnames name after the marriage of the parent to legitimize it... although many don't its the correct legal thing to do. It's NOTHING to do with adoption (I have done it for 2 of my 3 children but the other was born in a different county and we need to go back to do it).

Who does the birth certificate say your bio parents are?

It sounds like you could possibly have been an 'in family' adoption in which case you could look like and share DNA with a parent.

Example: An aunt adopting a niece or A grandparent adopting a grandchild... very common through history especially around teen pregnancies, out of wedlock pregnancies or infertility like traditional surrogacy. If you are biologically related to your mam then its not strange you might look like her even if shes not your birth mother.

A family member was the son from his mum's first marriage. Her 2nd husband adopted him as a toddler and the says that she also had to adopt him, despite being his biological mum.

Could it be that @Dontknowwhoiamrightnow ?

Not sure of the government website but there is one that can show where you were born.
I will try to find it later but from memory I put in general areas I knew my family had connections to and the date of birth and the different names I was given and found me
Given the only “hospital” in the place the government website says I was born was in a women’s prison I am pretty sure that would tie in with a few family comments
My mother told me a completely different location

I would play around with dates and names. The website gives your first name and initial of your 2nd name and location on the date.

I only started digging as I am into astrology and I have done a few friends charts and they all said that it described them or their child exactly

I could never identify with my natal chart using the time and place I was given by my mother
Moving my chart to the place the website said and adjusting my time of birth I have a chart that is definitely me.
My original chart described a person who was super quick at everything and other great aspects
All the things I am not.

I’m sorry you got this shock, and as others have said, there are possible reasons why your biological parents may have had to adopt you.
It is possible, though, that you were adopted and that, for whatever reason, no one could work out how to tell you. A friend of mine found out that she was adopted in almost the same way — only ever had a short birth certificate, but needed the full version for a passport. The full version was not at all what she expected.
People are much more alert now to the damage that can be caused by not talking openly about adoption, but even in 1983 the counselling and support for adoptive parents was not very advanced.
Whatever you find out, your parents are still your parents. I hope you can get to the bottom of it though.

Well, you will have to ask and you deserve to know. Could you say ‘mum I have noticed unusual information on my birth certificate, I’d prefer to hear the full story from you, rather than anyone else’

Where are you based OP? Because the UK don't send out random adoption certificates when they can't find the information matching your request. That completely breaches GDPR guidance.

I agree.

Just ask your parents. Assuming this is a real situation (because most people would obviously have asked them immediately) there is no point speculating about this - they are the ones who know the answer, and it is their responsibility to explain, regardless of whether this is a good time or not.

That's what I thought, surely they can't just find a certificate that's the nearest match.

Really tough situation, particularly the timing, but try and find time to chat to your Mum.
Don't know if someone like SS might be able to advise the likely scenarios around your birth certificate if you can't talk to your Mum, just so you can get a sense of what might have happened.
The missing baby photos do seem odd (I'm an 80's baby to, so limited photos, but still some.....)
Maybe arrange some counselling and take care.
Good luck

it must of come as such a shock. I am adopted and went through the process of finding my birth parents 20 years ago, and it’s was so hard. It’s the sense of identity that you are currently missing, and what’s even worse is that it was suddenly taken away from you. I promise that you will get it back. You will have to go through a bit of difficulty, and once you are able to speak to your parents nd find out what happened it will get easier. Just go easy on them. Either way they are your real parents. Best of luck.

I have bane changed. I was adopted at three months. I only have a short certificate. If I don’t have a passport I have to tell employers who am adopted (regulated industry) as I cannot get a long one.
I only have photos from 3 months - when I was adopted. I was adopted in the late 1970s.

I have no idea how you got the document you got though. I just have a short certificate.

Have you looked online to see if you can see your birth record - often it’s annotated in pencil/pen if you were adopted ie a number or letter next to your birth record. It will be listed as the quarter of your birth and by mothers surname. It’s a long time since I have been on it but the adoption pages on here may assist.

Personally I would take the certificate to your parents house and ask them face to face. It’s an awful shock but they are your parents. They may have struggled to raise it with you. Adoption is a tricky area. The book the primal wound is a recommended read.

In the 80s and 90s there was no support for adopted kids. I’ve never had counselling. I didn’t get pupil premium or my first choice of school. No one really talked about it.

*name

From what limited knowledge I have (my mum is adopted) it's likely your dad was actually stepdad and in order for him to adopt you your mum had to as well as if only dad had adopted you,he would legally have all rightsover you and your mum none.I put my daughter's biological dad on her birth certificate when she was six,he didn't have to adopt her or take DNA test to do this.

My dad had this situation, he was adopted but both parents were his birth parents. My gran had been married when she met my ganda. She separated from her husband and had my dad but they had to wait till after she was divorced to be able to adopt my dad. So he was essentially adopted by his biological mum and dad.
I don't really understand why it had to he done that way but maybe something similar happened to you?

My husband has an adoption certificate - he was adopted by his stepfather so his biological mother had to adopt him as they adopted as a couple

That may be the case with you (and I suspect most likely) - You can reregister a birth to add a father which is different