Aibu to think my parents are still biological

[Dontknowwhoiamrightnow]

Last week I urgently needed my birth certificate. I couldn't find it, so ordered a copy.
A few days later the post arrives and there is a letter to say that the information I provided for the birth certificate didn't match, but they checked some other files and the certificate is enclosed.
It's an ADOPTION certificate!!! I have an adoption certificate.
I had no idea I had even been adopted!!
Backstory-: I lived with my "mum and dad". I had my mum's maiden name at birth.
My parents told me that my name was changed to my dad's surname when they got married two years after birth.
I was told this was so that we could all have the same name.
This was In the 1980's.
My mum does look like me and my kids, so I think she is my biological mum.
AIBU to think that my parents are my biological parents and they became my adopters, just to change my name OR is it reasonable to think that my dad is not my real dad.
I know, I'm clutching at straws, it seems more than likely he's not my real dad.... How do I make sense of it all? Is there really any chance they are both my bio parents and the adoption was just to make me legitimate?
I'm in bits right now and don't know what to do xxx

And my dad WAS on my birth certificate, on both of them despite not being married at the time.

I had a baby around that time. Father was married but separated for years. He never did get divorced. His wife died eventually. I registered the birth and he came with me. No great deal. Surely if your parents were together they would have done what we did? I think DNA is the way to go. Ancestry always have deals. I wouldn't want to have doubt that I had been lied to.

OP, I don't understand why your dad didn't go with your mum to register your birth if he's the bio dad? You don't have to be married to register a birth. The dad just has to go with the mum if they're not married. I was born in the 90s to unmarried parents. Both names are on my birth certificate. You have lots of time to register so most people find the time to attend unless dad is out of the country etc.

The Ops Dad possibly didn't go with her Mum because she wasn't born locally.
It could also be her Mums family 'though it was for the best' if her Dad just wasn't named or given any legal rights or responsibilities.

I don't know what to think. I would do DNA test probably to know for sure. You know your parents best so go with your gut.

It happened if people were misinformed - which was very common

DH’s great aunt, and then in turn years later her daughter, both adopted their own children because they were told by the priest that they couldn’t register their babies with the father because they were unmarried. They only discovered when her daughter completed her child’s adoption that they were given the wrong information and could have done things differently.

My Granny’s sister was also forbidden by her family from registering the father until after they were married and then they adopted rather than re-registering as it was, to their families, more “proper”.

This.

I would do a DNA OP.

My Mum said she registered me alone because my Dad had to work.

I Don't think I would do a DNA test; it would upset my parents and I wouldn't want to do that. Also I'd be slightly scared of the result.

Did your dad work away? My parents were quite young when they had me. My dad worked full time but took a half day off work so he could go to the register office with my mum so both of their names could be on my birth certificate. It's up to you whether you want to do a Dna test because I imagine waiting for the results will be a very stressful time. Regardless, it sounds like both of your parents love you lots.

What if you do one of these ancestry things and see what results you get online?

Op if you're happy with the answer. And it seems perfectly reasonable to me. Id accept it.

Your Dad may not have been able to afford to take a day off work to register you.
You were only 2 when they married, that would have been a very short time for your mum, with a baby to meet, develop a relationship and decide to marry someone else.
I wouldn't want to risk the very small chance of a DNA test showing up Dad isnt your Dad by doing a DNA test either.

My in laws had a similar situation in regards to adoption in the 80s, MIL had children and met FIL and their bio Dad wasn't in the picture so FIL adopted them, but MIL had to adopt them as well.

What a totally ridiculous thing to expect women to do - they weren’t real mums unless they were married so had to adopt their own children 😡 what a mess!

Glad you have answers OP

they weren’t real mums unless they were married so had to adopt their own children

It was the same the other way round. FIL was adopted by his father and step mother when they married after his mother died.

Adoption was a blunt tool then. All legal links to the birth family were cut and the adoption certificate gave all the rights. It was designed to protect the child and make everything very clear cut. There shouldn’t have been quite so many children affected by it as many should have been re-registered after their parents marriage, but the misinformation around that was very widespread it seems.

Pm they your parents. Back in the day there was often pressure on young women who had children outside of marriage to NOT put the fathers name on the certificate. This often came from the registrars who felt that if the young couple split the father wouldn't have any registered children and was free to move on!!!!
Also the parents on both sides even though the father said he was the dad would push for it to be "father unknown" on the certificate. As given the woman was having sex outside of marriage who could be sure that he was the only partner...notice nothing was said about the man.
Coming from a working class small village I have a cousin who has father unknown...yet he is the splitting image of his dad. And I know several ladies to who this happened.
1980 is a bit late but attitudes are slow to change

This.

It was incredibly incompetent of thr service to send you an adoption certificate without any further explanation or details so I’d be cautious making assumptions.

I see two options

(1) Honesty. “Mum I just ordered a birth certificate and they sent me an adoption certificate instead, wtf, is dad not biologically related to me?”

(2) Duplicity. “Mum, Dad, I got you guys an amazing deal on Ancestry DNA tests, let’s do them right now :) I don’t need to do one cos I can just look at your results” (then also do one yourself).

It's not quite that way. It's the Dad couldn't be recognised as Dad unless he was named on Birth Cert or he adopted his child.
Adoption severed links with Birth family so Mum needed to be on Adoption Cert.

I think it was also because single people couldn’t adopt. So if a man wanted to adopt then it would be done as a couple adoption.
So in your case mum and dad adopted you.
But your mum was also birth mum. So a legal work around. It put people off doing step parent adoptions.

Single people could adopt. What you couldn’t do us have anyone on the original birth certificate retain parental rights.

So the Dad could adopt, but he’d then be the only one with legal rights as the Mum would have lost all of hers on the adoption. For mum to have them she had to adopt as well.

Step parent adoption as they are now where one person can retain rights and another gain them by legal adoption was brought in to change that.

At a genealogy thing I went to once a man told a story about a cock up whereby the step-mother adopted a child but the dad didn’t realise he had to. The child then had to be adopted again to give the Dad legal rights to his own child!

You could do that if unmarried but the father had to be present at the Register Office. With married parents either could go and register the birth alone.

You do not have to tell anyone when you take a DNA test. So, do one and keep it private.

I've spent years researching my own family history and have seen a few instances like this, my own being one of them. In my case when I was born my father was still married to his first wife and my mother took his surname by deed poll in order that it didn't look odd on the birth register. This was in 1967, I then have a second birth record in 1972 when my father was added.

It completely baffled me when I first found it as neither of my parents were still around to ask about it, it was really a matter of piecing together the facts. That, and when I asked the GRO for a full birth certificate from the original reference they told me it was the wrong one and referred me to the correct one!

Thanks for your replies, I've found every single one so helpful 🙂.

I am going to ask for a DNA test.

I found out last week that my younger brothers and sisters have known for many years that I was 'adopted'.
When my parents downsized and moved house (nearly 20 years ago!!!), my siblings found my original adoption certificate.
They were told not to tell me!!!!

I'm really sad that this was kept from me. It just makes the hurt, shock and loneliness of the past month that much harder to process.
I'm okay though.

I could ask my siblings what they know about my 'adoption', but right now the trust has gone and this is why I need a DNA test.
I feel bad saying that, I love my family so much.

That must be difficult to comprehend. So sorry for you.

Are you thinking both of your parents are not biologically yours or could your brother and sister just have misunderstood the terminology used by the adults at the time and that this is still a legal adoption by your biological parents as others have described.