Lucky or hard working?

[widowtwankywashroom]

Me and my husband are both 50+ we don't have primary aged children and I will preface this by saying we did have very hands on grandparents when our children were younger
We have both worked extremely hard, I am a nurse, so have done my fair share of weekends, nights, late finishes and early starts, my husband is a hard worker ( not physical ) but he puts in the hours and he has been well rewarded
We paid our mortgage off early due to always paying in extra - would forgo a night out to pay and extra £50 etc and me working extra shifts in Covid
Through good planning and using lots of interest free credit card deals we managed to get away 4 times this year and already have 4 holidays booked next year
My mum always says its because I am lucky - I don't think I am - I left school with 2 GCSE and have worked my arse off to get where I am and so has my husband
So is it luck or just hard bloody work
No one has ever said I am lucky doing a 12 hr shift in A&E or ICU on a Sunday
No one has ever said I am lucky going out on a night shift

Op you (we) are lucky.
Hard work can only get you so far. The hardest working person can only make it so far without a dose of luck, good fortune, timing or opportunities (whatever you want to call it).

I've worked hard; 3 degrees, one from oxbridge (including a doctorate). I also grew up in one of the most deprived areas of UK but managed to get a grammar school place (lucky). I had 2 loving parents who valued education and are married 45 years (lucky). I moved from my hometown for better opportunities to another country which nearly killed me as family is everything to me. I sacrificed time with my nieces: nephews, birthdays, funerals, even weddings to build up my career. I met my dh by fluke (neither of us were meant to be where we were). He's a few years older and was already a homeowner (lucky for me!). After marrying and having dc we moved back to my home country (but to a lovely area) where we bought outright (very lucky) as house prices in other country rose much quicker (lucky). I was 38 with no mortgage (amazing and so lucky). I also had a job that was in demand (lucky). My dh not so much but he adjusted and has worked his way up (hard work). I have never had family help as dc were older when we moved back.

If I hadn't had the luck/ opportunity I have had I wouldn't be where I was. A case of sliding doors- good teacher who pushed me, loving husband, property prices etc.

Most of all though my family (parents, siblings, dh, dc ) have had good health (to date). My grandparents are all deceased (through cancer). Overall I feel very privileged to have the career and the life I have. I never ever taken it for granted.

I have good friends who I grew up with who had similar work ethic and were doing very well in life, but their dc died of cancer at age 4 then the dad got cancer the year later. It has decimated their family and they're just about surviving. It's because I've been luckier not because I've worked harder or deserved it more.

OP, I am a similar age to you and would say DH and I have worked hard to get where we are.

I am also aware of the huge amount of luck we had in both receiving free university education (and a full maintenance grant, in my case).

But the biggest, luckiest factor for us in paying down the mortgage was the 15 years of incredibly low interest rates. Which coincided with us taking on a huge mortgage (it was then, at least, I think would be fairly standard now). We would have struggled with the repayments had rates not fallen. As it was, we were able to pay less than originally planned whilst overpaying.

Very little family help, though, and we are still paying out in childcare, but that was a massive factor for us.

I hate this ‘we worked hard’ bollocks. Loads of people ‘work hard’ in shit, thankless warehouse or retail or cleaning dead-of-night jobs and are living hand to mouth. You have had the luxury of home ownership and overpaying your mortgage. I work my arse off and can’t do that. You’re lucky.

Enjoy it and be thankful but don’t be a dick about it.

Lucky in the sense that you have been in a position to be able to put in the work needed to get to where you are.

Lucky that your physical health and mental health have enabled you to be able to work hard.

You are lucky that you bought when you did, it was pre the huge inflation on house prices and you would not be in the mortgage free position if not. Demonstrated by gov stats of house prices from 1998 to 2018

'As did every other student nurse in the country on the diploma at the time.'

I'm currently studying for a nursing qualification and have to pay all the fees myself, plus 6 months of unpaid placements in which I have to cover accomodation (we get sent all over the country so I have to short term rent- in addition to my existing mortgage), petrol, daily parking. We have used up all our savings to fund this.

To me you are extremely lucky to have been pain bursaries to get your qualification.

Then again, I'm also think I'm extremely lucky. That I have a husband who takes on childcare when I'm away, who covers all bills whilst I'm studying.

It's not just hard work. It's really luck AND hard work. You very rightly should be proud of what you've achieved but I know so many people who do not work any less harder than me or my DH and they are paid much less because society does not place the same value on their jobs.

Woe is me 😳 so what you worked hard, as do a lot of us. I choose not to but I wouldn’t start a thread about it. I’m earning millions off my various properties and everyone thinks I’m fabulous and down to earth 🤫

You were lucky you were able to work hard, that it was a choice for you. There is little chance you could have achieved the lifestyle you have with luck or hard work. if you are happy you are lucky

I hate that term when referring to people's position, I think it diminishes the fact you've worked hard!

I'm fortunate in my career and my husband has a very established career too. We both are working class and literally got there by grafting and going over and above for years. My friend always used to tell me, 'you always land in s**t, and come out smelling of roses'. Always would wind me up!

I've been told I'm "sitting pretty" the equivalent to lucky.
Really irritates me.
I was a single parent, hardly any help as dps were still working when my DC were young.
I'm now late 50's paid off my mortgage, still working full time, have some savings, can afford a holiday (abroad with family who live there).
What people fail to remember is that no-one helped me, no-one supported me, I struggled mentally and financially, I had to constantly save all year to pay for childcare as no free hours then, I bought my house through my own hard work, yes the house prices were cheaper then but the wages were lower.
DC and I went without a lot, no holidays, no car, everything on the cheap, 2nd hand clothes, cheap food.
Now, when I'm finally reaping the benefits of my hard work I'm "sitting pretty".
I do understand the struggle of young people trying to get on the housing ladder, I've watched my own dc going through it.

yes the house prices were cheaper then but the wages were lower.

But not comparatively lower.

Well think about someone like Jeff Bezos. I imagine in the early years of Amazon he worked extremely hard and now he is one of the richest men in the world.
Would you say that was all down to hard work or was some of it luck and good timing? He set up a business just as the internet was taking off?

@itsgoingtobeabumpyride it does sound like you've worked really hard in difficult circumstances, and you deserve lots of credit for that.
It's just that a single mum 20 or 30 years younger than you working equally hard will not be able to pay off her mortgage in her 50s. Have you seen the graph posted at 19:11 yesterday which shows the comparative change in house prices and wages?

100% luck.

Luck that the conditions in your mothers womb when she was carrying you were favourable and she wasn’t exposed to huge amounts of stress etc. Luck that you were born with the particular set of genes that predisposed you to ‘work hard’ or whichever other behavioural advantages have been useful to you. Luck that during the early vital years of your life you learned whatever you needed to, to set you on this path.

when you say ‘I worked hard to get where I am today’ - where do you think the ‘I’ comes from? Did you have any control over creating the particular ‘I’ that is you, or in what happened to you during your formative years? Of course not. it’s luck, chance, whatever that you have turned out to be ‘you’, and thus been able to make the choices that you have made - including the choice to ‘work hard’.

Hard work is the main driver .
Luck is remaining healthy for a long time to be able to do the hard work .

I was thinking the exact same. Quite smug.

Plus - the marvellous 4 holidays a year will be contributing +++ to global warming which pretty much no one wants to hear

It's obviously both.
I'm curious what you were doing before nursing?

I worked in a bank - not particularly high flying, worked in learning & development, had a baby, decided I didn't want to go back so took off 2 years then did my training, qualified when I was 40

My parents always struggled for money, and when I first started working I worked in debt management, I think that shaped my thoughts on saving as a priority and my husband has the same ideas - is that luck or an agreed value?

I hate that term when referring to people's position, I think it diminishes the fact you've worked hard!

Why does it diminish your hard work?

Do you think people who are less successful than you just don't work hard enough? Or sometimes are the cards just stacked against some people?

Having researched this extensively I can confidently say that success is a combination of hard work, attitude and chance.

Bit of both I think yep you worked hard but were lucky to have child care.Suspect you didn't pay training costs and the mortgage rate has been very low for the last 10yrs .Also property cheaper with less deposit required.
Also lucky if you have both had good health.

@widowtwankywashroom I asked you this last night but you didn't answer.
Why are you so offended by the idea that luck or chance may have played even a small part in your success?

Why is it a bad thing to acknowledge earn it's the norm and people have identified part of your story where luck or good timing played a part?

Both. You’re 50+ and still have your Mum. For me that’s luckily. I have young children and one of the reasons I had to give up work because it was too difficult working, having very young children and juggling caring for my Mum.

If you wanted to be a nurse now you would need to get a degree and all the debt with comes with it.

You’ve worked hard but were lucky to be in the UK with good free health care, clean water, safety, access to food etc. That’s not to say parts of your life haven’t been difficult.

Sorry, I didn't answer last night, It was hard keeping up. I wasn't being obtuse.
I don't know is the honest answer.
To me luck is winning the lottery not a series of choices.
I can't help the fact I was born into the UK and not a war zone, I can't help interest rates were different when I bought, but what I/we did was make a conscious effort to buy a smaller house, to not buy anything on credit, to save up/ to not have the latest gadgets etc