Lucky or hard working?

widowtwankywashroom · 2023-10-31T18:45:58+00:00

Me and my husband are both 50+ we don't have primary aged children and I will preface this by saying we did have very hands on grandparents when our children were younger We have both worked extremely hard, I am a nurse, so have done my fair share of weekends, nights, late finishes and early starts, my husband is a hard worker ( not physical ) but he puts in the hours and he has been well rewarded We paid our mortgage off early due to always paying in extra - would forgo a night out to pay and extra £50 etc and me working extra shifts in Covid Through good planning and using lots of interest free credit card deals we managed to get away 4 times this year and already have 4 holidays booked next year My mum always says its because I am lucky - I don't think I am - I left school with 2 GCSE and have worked my arse off to get where I am and so has my husband So is it luck or just hard bloody work No one has ever said I am lucky doing a 12 hr shift in A&E or ICU on a Sunday No one has ever said I am lucky going out on a night shift

JustTalkToThem · 31/10/2023 18:49

It's both - the point is there are people who work just as hard as you (or harder) and because of "luck" (illness, accidents, family) aren't in as good of a situation.

FrankiJ95 · 31/10/2023 18:49

Hard work! And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise x

takealettermsjones · 31/10/2023 18:52

It's wild that you're making a thread about this to be honest!

Beezknees · 31/10/2023 18:54

Sounds like both to me. You have worked hard but by your own admission have had hands on grandparent help, that is luck. As a lone parent with limited childcare support, working nights and weekends would never be an option for me.

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 31/10/2023 18:54

With respect,I don't think you sound lucky at all, just hard working.

Lucky is a series of events which you have limited part in or control. Thinks that may have still happened if you sat on your arse. E.g. lotto win etc.

Everything you have seems to be self driven by attitude, work ethic and intent. Fair play but well deserved, not luck at all.

Manycupsofteaforme · 31/10/2023 18:58

No one has ever said I am lucky doing a 12 hr shift in A&E or ICU on a Sunday

You are far luckier than the seriously sick people who wind up in A&E.

You are fortunate to have health that lets you work hard, that your body allows you to choose to do activities that better your future.

Yes you work hard AND you are lucky.

LaurieFairyCake · 31/10/2023 18:58

Both!

Assuming at your age you got the training free (like I did)

We're all lucky at our age to have had those opportunities and not had anything disabling befall us or have to become a carer for a disabled child

Added to which you bought when things were a lot cheaper and interest rates were low - not like now !

And the hard work ? I assume you work just as hard as every public servant in the nhs

Spermscarecrow · 31/10/2023 18:59

Yep hard work and you are obviously thrifty . I'm the same . Overpaid my mortgage and knocked 10 years off it . Have everything I want but I am tight as shit and it pays off 😂

Almondmum · 31/10/2023 19:02

It's both surely? As others have said you're lucky to be physically and mentally healthy enough to work hard.

Plus some people don't have extra money to pay off their mortgage even if they're forgoing nights out and working hard.

Enjoy your holidays - you've earned them AND you're lucky to have them.

Original poster

widowtwankywashroom · 31/10/2023 19:03

LaurieFairyCake · 31/10/2023 18:58

Both!

Assuming at your age you got the training free (like I did)

We're all lucky at our age to have had those opportunities and not had anything disabling befall us or have to become a carer for a disabled child

Added to which you bought when things were a lot cheaper and interest rates were low - not like now !

And the hard work ? I assume you work just as hard as every public servant in the nhs

No I didn't.
I've only been qualified 10 yrs

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howshouldibehave · 31/10/2023 19:03

Did you have to pay £50k student loans like students have to today?

Did you buy your house at a price that is substantially cheaper than it’s worth for people buying something similar now?

You are luckier than those people.

MargaretThursday · 31/10/2023 19:06

It is both.

eg you took extra shifts during covid, your choice. But you could have done the minimum and moaned about how unlucky you were not to be able to be furloughed and take home pay for nothing.

I've a reputation in my family for being lucky. But it's often the way I face things. So growing up, when my siblings were in a situation they'd spend their time saying how unfair it was and not doing anything. I'd go and talk to someone who would sort it-and often I'd get a better situation at the end than I'd have expected. My family would say "typical Margaret, someone sorts it for her". But I had to do the initial approach. And I'd also approach it in the "it would be lovely if you could help me" as oppose to my siblings who, if they approached at all would be in a "it's not fair and I'm not happy way", which tends to get less good response.

Original poster

widowtwankywashroom · 31/10/2023 19:07

howshouldibehave · 31/10/2023 19:03

Did you have to pay £50k student loans like students have to today?

Did you buy your house at a price that is substantially cheaper than it’s worth for people buying something similar now?

You are luckier than those people.

I did my diploma in nursing 10 yrs ago.
So you can't compare my fees to theirs.
My house was purchased 25 yes ago in line with what prices were at the time. Yes we made some money on selling our first and buying our 2nd but it's all relative in terms of prices surely?

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CantFindTheBeat · 31/10/2023 19:09

Why is your mum saying you're lucky?

Is she saying it In a conversational way, or in a dismissive way?

To me, it's not a binary situation.

Sounds like you've been fortunate to not have health issues, you've been fortunate not to have had to limit work to care for dependent, you've been fortunate to buy property at a lower price and lower rate,

You've also worked consistently, prioritised paying off your mortgage over more disposable options, and are now reaping the rewards.

Some people say 'lucky you' and they mean it well. Others say it to dismiss and effort you've had in the process. Which one is your mum?

devildeepbluesea · 31/10/2023 19:09

We’ll obviously it’s both.

No one would argue that you havent worked hard. But you had lots of grandparental help during the childcare years, you have two decent incomes and a (presumably) sound marriage. You bought a house presumably before houses became all but unaffordable for many.

I work my arse off, but as a single parent I’ve no hope of getting to your position by your age.

howshouldibehave · 31/10/2023 19:10

Yes we made some money on selling our first and buying our 2nd but it's all relative in terms of prices surely?

Not compared to earnings, no. You were lucky to buy a house when you did.

We are the same and consider ourselves very lucky.

Cornwallsfaveflappyj · 31/10/2023 19:10

people tend to be jealous of lucky people.

you work REALLY hard in a role that most people would absolutely hate. with hours that most people would hate. with an unpredictable working pattern too. I don't think you're lucky in that aspect of things.

I think you work REALLY hard to have what you have.

And also I think lucky people are those who can afford holidays outright.

Lucky people don't juggle credit cards.

Luck = your good health

RedCoffeeCup · 31/10/2023 19:10

In the last 25 years house prices have risen much faster than wages. So you've benefited from being able to buy a house that a young couple with similar jobs wouldn't be able to afford today. (Your "relative prices" argument only works for someone who is selling one property and buying another, not a first time buyer.)

I'm sure you've worked hard as well.

howshouldibehave · 31/10/2023 19:11

widowtwankywashroom · 31/10/2023 19:07

I did my diploma in nursing 10 yrs ago.
So you can't compare my fees to theirs.
My house was purchased 25 yes ago in line with what prices were at the time. Yes we made some money on selling our first and buying our 2nd but it's all relative in terms of prices surely?

Show quote history

This is an interesting visual.

CantFindTheBeat · 31/10/2023 19:11

My house was purchased 25 yes ago in line with what prices were at the time. Yes we made some money on selling our first and buying our 2nd but it's all relative in terms of prices surely?

It's not actually, OP.*

As a nurse and a shift worker you'd be unlikely to earn enough to get on the property ladder easily these days.

Manycupsofteaforme · 31/10/2023 19:13

It's surprising that you, a nurse, are so dismissive of your good health and don't realise how fortunate you are there.

As a nurse you must see harrowing ill health every day - do you simply assume those people haven't 'worked hard enough'? Unlike you?

dancinfeet · 31/10/2023 19:13

it’s a bit of both. lots of people work very hard and are not as fortunate, sometimes life just takes a rubbish turn.

Cornwallsfaveflappyj · 31/10/2023 19:13

howshouldibehave · 31/10/2023 19:11

This is an interesting visual.

Show quote history

Wow that's insane. I had no idea. we bought our first home in 2020 😱

momager1 · 31/10/2023 19:14

Not Luck. Lucky is winning the lotto or having a huge inheritance. My husband and I worked our asses off , raised 3 great kids to be responsible adults. Paid our mortgage early as like you, we rarely went out to dinner (once in a blue moon) and instead used the money to pay down mortgage and invest. The end result? we are 55 and retired early to the carribean. Our home here is much smaller , just a two bedroom apartment, instead of two fancy cars we have one tiny little car , but new so should last years. We are living off the interest from the sale of our home and my restaurant. We are good till the actual pensions kick in in a decade. Luck my ass. Hard work is more like it. Never had any help with childcare either, we just worked around each other. Now happy to be living in paradise with my best friend before we get to a point that we cannot enjoy it!

Original poster

widowtwankywashroom · 31/10/2023 19:15

momager1 · 31/10/2023 19:14

Not Luck. Lucky is winning the lotto or having a huge inheritance. My husband and I worked our asses off , raised 3 great kids to be responsible adults. Paid our mortgage early as like you, we rarely went out to dinner (once in a blue moon) and instead used the money to pay down mortgage and invest. The end result? we are 55 and retired early to the carribean. Our home here is much smaller , just a two bedroom apartment, instead of two fancy cars we have one tiny little car , but new so should last years. We are living off the interest from the sale of our home and my restaurant. We are good till the actual pensions kick in in a decade. Luck my ass. Hard work is more like it. Never had any help with childcare either, we just worked around each other. Now happy to be living in paradise with my best friend before we get to a point that we cannot enjoy it!

Bloody love this

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