School asking me to buy a £30 costume

[Tedn]

I’ll start with, this is a state school, in south east London, relatively nice area but like most London schools, some kids live in houses worth well over a million others in council houses. The school prides its self both on being inclusive and environmentally conscious.

DD is 4 and in reception, yesterday I got an email, giving all the children their nativity roles (yes I know very early but school say it’s to give parents a chance to buy the costumes) and with it links to the costume you should buy.
DD has been given the role of Angel Gabriel, the costume linked £30!!! The other angels costumes are only £15. DDs costume is the most expensive by £10 (the animals and the star are £20), and from a different place.
The teacher noted in the email that the PTA has some funds available to help those who may not be able to buy them and if that’s the case you should reach out to the class PTA rep on WhatsApp. However it’s not that I can’t afford it, it’s more just what’s the point on a £30 costume for one day? Why so much more expensive than the others?
The way the school does nativity is that the reception children have no real lines, instead all the Y1 and Y2 children narrate and the reception kids just act it out on stage. So it’s worse to me that I’d be paying £30 for a costume to wear for two afternoons to not even hear DD saying anything.
I spoke to the teacher briefly at drop off today and she said that they picked that costume as it stands out from the other angels and as she is Angel Gabriel they thought it would look better and make it easier to follow. She reminded me that I can speak to the PTA rep if I need any help buying it.
Now I’m also thinking that it’s just wasteful? What will I do with it when the nativity is over?
I will probably just buy the damned costume to save any headaches but AIBU to think this is a ridiculous, tone deaf (considering COL) and wasteful request from the school?

If Gabriel has to look different from the others, I’d suggest getting/making an ordinary Angel outfit and adding gold tinsel trimmings.

It’s great if a school can supply costumes, but they need to be stored and many schools just don’t have the space. At the school I used to work at as support staff, we used to have a big cupboard - it was really a small room filled with all sorts of costumes and props, mostly donated by parents over the years and often remodelled for particular roles. (The dress I made for DD as Anne Boleyn, created from a few charity shop pieces, reappeared several times over the years in various guises) I always volunteered for the job of going through the cupboard before any performance working out which clothes etc could be used for various roles. But then the school started using small group teaching much more often, and sadly the costume cupboard had to go to become a small group space.

At first I was on the fence, but the added bit about them requesting this of families they believe to be better off has my blood boiling.

4 is so young to learn that rich kids get better things regardless of talent or ability or desire or what have you. Imagine being a great actor (and yes I know this particular play is not like that, but) and being passed over for a good role in your school play because someone else’s parents could afford a great costume. Ugh.

Yes @CheerfulYank so much for uniform being a leveller if school is picking out the kids they perceive to be the 'rich kids' for the 'expensive' nativity parts. P1/Reception might not notice but older kids will.

This is wrong on so so many levels!
Nobody can ever be sure of someone else's finances - flash job, car and house but all bought on credit and struggling paying big interest rates.

Decent job, car, average house, all bought cash and a bit of inheritance, very frugal, might actually be in a better financial position.

Ridiculous! In my day, you'd have a tea towel on your head for a Shepard and a bit of tinsel for the angel. Bloody consumerism. Make your own costume, what are they going to do? Ban your child from being in the play? My DD is only 2 and I am not looking forward to this s*. 🤣

Doll why don't you buy the material an make it probably work out about £7 kid costumes are easy

I would say something! Go past the teacher to the head or deputy though as they don't make the decisions. As long as you address in a polite way, pointing out what you said about costs for families in cost of living crisis and environmental impact of using for 1 day.

Trying telling that school if they that costume they can buy it themselves and aren't they aware that parents aren't made of money.
I'd certainly tell them.

Mine was angel Gabriel in reception too, I bought her a really fancy angel costume that was definitely glitzier than the other angels and really stood out, but was only about £15.
Was during COVID so didn't even get to see her in it in real life, just on the recording they sent home! 😛

YANBU ... what is wrong with a sheet and a tinsel crown like we had as children?! Why do costumes have to be commercial these days? Would that really ruin the enjoyment of this production for parents?!

I understand your grumble. If it helps- I got one of these costumes with the star at Home Bargains last year for £9.

I’d be inclined to say to the teacher something along these lines: “Thank you for the costume link. I’m working on sourcing a suitable inexpensive costume of a similar sort: £30 is a lot to spend for a dress to be worn only once.”

I’d also lightly encourage other parents to do the same. I imagine that most will balk at being expected to buy a costume.

when I was at school in the 90s we used to have a couple of afternoons making our very basic costumes in the class. I’ve been through years of providing costumes for my children - never to be worn again. The last couple of years my children were at primary school the head decided to have a Christmas Carol event outside in the playground all lit up , hot chocolate provided and then donations at the end etc and it was lovely - no costumes needed just wrapped up warm.

I’d probably end up just buying it but would be annoyed.

And I think it’s awful that parents have to approach the PTA rep if they can’t afford it, rather than the school

I'd try and find out who was Angel Gabriel last year and ask if they still have the costume.

This is £14.99 on Amazon

Some of reviews say the £30 dress is very poor quality.

Back in the day we had the same costumes that were brought out every Christmas just with different kids wearing them

God no wonder schools/teachers can't be arsed anymore

At our school we have to provide costumes, but this school don't dictate where we have to buy them from. Some of us buy from Amazon and some make the costumes. And they are usually pretty simple (my son was Angel Gabriel and I bought a costume from Amazon pretty cheaply!) If I knew where it was, and if your school werent telling you it has to be a specific costume, Id gladly send it to you!!!

It's possible that a local church might have a collection of Christmas costumes. The PTA might be able to come to an arrangement to share them each year.

Our school reuse the costumes each year. Environmentally friendly and no stress or expense for parents.
I would not be happy about spending £30 on a nativity costume!