School asking me to buy a £30 costume

[Tedn]

I’ll start with, this is a state school, in south east London, relatively nice area but like most London schools, some kids live in houses worth well over a million others in council houses. The school prides its self both on being inclusive and environmentally conscious.

DD is 4 and in reception, yesterday I got an email, giving all the children their nativity roles (yes I know very early but school say it’s to give parents a chance to buy the costumes) and with it links to the costume you should buy.
DD has been given the role of Angel Gabriel, the costume linked £30!!! The other angels costumes are only £15. DDs costume is the most expensive by £10 (the animals and the star are £20), and from a different place.
The teacher noted in the email that the PTA has some funds available to help those who may not be able to buy them and if that’s the case you should reach out to the class PTA rep on WhatsApp. However it’s not that I can’t afford it, it’s more just what’s the point on a £30 costume for one day? Why so much more expensive than the others?
The way the school does nativity is that the reception children have no real lines, instead all the Y1 and Y2 children narrate and the reception kids just act it out on stage. So it’s worse to me that I’d be paying £30 for a costume to wear for two afternoons to not even hear DD saying anything.
I spoke to the teacher briefly at drop off today and she said that they picked that costume as it stands out from the other angels and as she is Angel Gabriel they thought it would look better and make it easier to follow. She reminded me that I can speak to the PTA rep if I need any help buying it.
Now I’m also thinking that it’s just wasteful? What will I do with it when the nativity is over?
I will probably just buy the damned costume to save any headaches but AIBU to think this is a ridiculous, tone deaf (considering COL) and wasteful request from the school?

Would the PTA run a costume stall? It won't just be you - there will be a stack of sheep and angel costumes in lofts from the last few years.

Have parents donate old costumes, PTA sell them on for a couple of quid. Repeat each year. In theory one costume will generate funds across multiple years.

I'd lean heavily into the schools eco credentials when pitching the idea.

That is absolutely shocking and very short sighted and feel it's lazy of the school . My kids are adults now and attended many different schools (army family) and never once ever was asked to by costumes for nativity . Not acceptable .

I will go against the grain and say that I would have much preferred to buy a good costume for my kid and then sell it afterwards - or gift it to the school/PTA.

My daughter was the 'star' role and had a pretty grubby costume so I would have liked to have bought her one. my kid loves dressing up so it would have been used over Christmas/the rest of the year tbh.

Won't this do? Less than half the price

Lol I would buy whatever I deem suitible if I was buying it.

I have seen angel halos and wings for a few quid in the post Halloween online sale today I think and I would probably just buy a nice second hand white dress off vinted (white doesn't stay white with kids so no point spending a fortune, its nice if its reusable for events but unlikely to get much wear outside a few times).

I mean what are they actually going to do if you don't buy it?

As, according to the school, she needs to stand out from the other angels, does that not mean you can buy whatever second hand angel costume you want or make your own?
They may want/ strongly encourage you to buy X costume but they can't make you.

so? you would 'highly appreciate it' if they didn't make such ridiculous and inappropriate requests.
what are they going to do, stop your child from going onstage if she turns up in the wrong costume?
Can you just tell the teacher you're not going to buy it, tell them you'll either buy the standard angel costume and stick some tinsel around her head to differentiate her from the other angels, or just ask that the role is reassigned and she's just a normal angel. If none of the kids in her class have speaking parts surely it won't make any difference to her.

PTA funds for less advantaged children should be going towards things like funding their places on school trips, getting them access to a laptop/tablet if they need one, etc. Not for fancy costumes that will be worn once then chucked in landfill.

Probably because there no female roles except an almost mute Mary.

It sounds like the school wouldn’t have given your kid the part. Seems like they’re giving parts with nice costumes to families they think have the extra money and the kids from poorer backgrounds aren’t getting those parts.

This is what my children's school does and it works well. Some of the costumes are 15yrs+ old but they're still in great condition as they only get used for a couple of performances each year.

They also don't charge for tickets but do a voluntary collection on the door which pays for any replacement costumes and props needed the following year.

there is only one Angel Gabriel so she won't need to match to anyone

Amazon have loads:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Morph-Angel-Long-Dress-Kids/dp/B0C1ZSWFHL/ref=sr_1_32?crid=1Z1IUTGGOFJU1&keywords=angel+costume+kids&qid=1698760593&sprefix=angel+costume+kids%2Caps%2C88&sr=8-32

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Girls-Costume-Christmas-Nativity-Childs/dp/B005KRN5YQ/ref=sr_1_5?crid=1Z1IUTGGOFJU1&keywords=angel+costume+kids&qid=1698760593&sprefix=angel+costume+kids%2Caps%2C88&sr=8-5

https://www.amazon.co.uk/amscan-Childs-Nativity-Angel-Costume/dp/B07ZRRV9F7/ref=sxin_16_pa_sp_search_thematic_sspa?content-id=amzn1.sym.d17f7001-eea8-4818-9a7a-851be10da20d%3Aamzn1.sym.d17f7001-eea8-4818-9a7a-851be10da20d&crid=1Z1IUTGGOFJU1&cv_ct_cx=angel+costume+kids&keywords=angel+costume+kids&pd_rd_i=B07ZRRV9F7&pd_rd_r=7afbdcf1-6186-4141-bbd6-c272cbd7e24c&pd_rd_w=ZxFwG&pd_rd_wg=GfDME&pf_rd_p=d17f7001-eea8-4818-9a7a-851be10da20d&pf_rd_r=HR91J3V99MB80GXDQP27&qid=1698760593&sbo=RZvfv%2F%2FHxDF%2BO5021pAnSA%3D%3D&sprefix=angel+costume+kids%2Caps%2C88&sr=1-4-1c12e6fc-61d1-41ee-8e02-a6ca5f2da604-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9zZWFyY2hfdGhlbWF0aWM&psc=1

Dressing up is one thing, spending £30 on a costume to be used once is quite another. What happened last year? if the child then bought this costume, it must be around and the OP might buy it if so.

When my eldest was a wise man, his crown was a cardboard hat from Burger King!
Absolutely would not spend money on a single use costume, op, yanbu.

Misses point of thread

Whatever happened to a costume made with an old white bedsheet and a wire coat hanger shaped into a halo and wrapped in silver tinsel, with cardboard wings?

I’d welcome a competition of who can make the best but cheapest costume in the least amount of time - for parents strapped for cash and time and those who care about the environment, as indeed we all should.

This.

I was the angle Gabriel 30 years ago in my nans old white lacy nighty and a toy tiara! school produced some ancient wings .. I looked lovely even though I say so myself 😀

YANBU OP the demand is wasteful and ridiculous but the worst it is suggesting you discuss your finances with another parent!!

Me too. I'd say most, if not all, of the parents I know would happily donate their costume to the school. They might lose the odd costume here and there, but that's unlikely to be a prohibitively high cost once the initial outlay to purchase a set of costumes is past.

The costumes don't need to go home. The PTCA should acquire a set, they can be re-used each year, then washed (and occasionally some replacement might be necessary).

It's too late for this year, but perhaps the PTCA could encourage those who have bought costumes this year to donate them for re-use in future years.

I read it as moist acne!!! Only just realised my error, but I did think 🧐 interesting decision!

Like so many others my son's school had a costume collection that got modified and updated as need and availability of artistic parents dictated. I don't now remember much about their nativity costumes (remember some of the singing highlights more!) - the bit that has actually stuck in my memory is that they always had several reception children as angels with L plates, looked after by a yr 2 as the Angel Gabriel.

I think what I find most shocking is that they expect you to approach the PTA rep (another class parent!) to disclose your financial position.

Yes, I thought that was off too. Agree with a PP that the school should just keep these costumes for use each year (perhaps a class fundraising event to pay for them)..

I don't understand why the school are telling parents they HAVE to buy a costume (and asking the PTA to pay for it is the same thing; someone is still having to buy a bit of tat that will get used once or twice and then binned). Why aren't they making the costumes as part of art or design and technology? It's not that hard to make some angel wings out of cardboard and paint them. It's not a hollywood production!

I'm always curious as to why schools cast girls as Gabriel when it was actually a male angel!

Probably because there no female roles except an almost mute Mary.

True, but why not one of the non-sex-specific parts instead? Even if they likely wouldn't have done 2,000 years ago (they wouldn't have spoken English either), shepherds or innkeepers could be female - the innkeeper is one of the few speaking roles. The narrator can be either sex, and is the biggest speaking part of all. Many of the (obviously) non-speaking parts are also animals, which can of course be girls or boys.

This is so silly, though. Part of the attraction of school Nativity plays is the fact that they're amateurish: home-cobbled-together costumes, kids fluffing and forgetting their lines and singing out of tune. There's a reason why they don't sell tickets to all-comers and that the only people who actually want to see the plays are the kids' own parents and grandparents.

It's also very loaded, suggesting that either you buy the expensive prescribed costumes or otherwise you must be too poor to do so - and thus need to ask for 'charity'. You don't have to be on your uppers to be careful with money and object to making wasteful, bad-value purchases.

I could afford it, but I would still be annoyed at the waste. What happened to arts and crafts in schools, encouraging kids to make their own costumes? A white nightie, or as pp said pillow case (brilliant) with a tinsel wasteband, big cardboard wings painted white and edged in tinsel.

My children aren't in school yet but this is absurd. Its such an unbelievable waste of money. And it is horrendous for the environment. Even if your child fits in the costume next year they won't be given the same part so it will literally be worn for a few hours. I cannot understand how they don't have these costumes already. It's not like a new play they choose each year, the nativity literally has the same parts every year.

I think I would have to tell them that you won't be buying some plasticky tat for £30 to be worn for 4 hours and then disposed of.