School asking me to buy a £30 costume

[Tedn]

I’ll start with, this is a state school, in south east London, relatively nice area but like most London schools, some kids live in houses worth well over a million others in council houses. The school prides its self both on being inclusive and environmentally conscious.

DD is 4 and in reception, yesterday I got an email, giving all the children their nativity roles (yes I know very early but school say it’s to give parents a chance to buy the costumes) and with it links to the costume you should buy.
DD has been given the role of Angel Gabriel, the costume linked £30!!! The other angels costumes are only £15. DDs costume is the most expensive by £10 (the animals and the star are £20), and from a different place.
The teacher noted in the email that the PTA has some funds available to help those who may not be able to buy them and if that’s the case you should reach out to the class PTA rep on WhatsApp. However it’s not that I can’t afford it, it’s more just what’s the point on a £30 costume for one day? Why so much more expensive than the others?
The way the school does nativity is that the reception children have no real lines, instead all the Y1 and Y2 children narrate and the reception kids just act it out on stage. So it’s worse to me that I’d be paying £30 for a costume to wear for two afternoons to not even hear DD saying anything.
I spoke to the teacher briefly at drop off today and she said that they picked that costume as it stands out from the other angels and as she is Angel Gabriel they thought it would look better and make it easier to follow. She reminded me that I can speak to the PTA rep if I need any help buying it.
Now I’m also thinking that it’s just wasteful? What will I do with it when the nativity is over?
I will probably just buy the damned costume to save any headaches but AIBU to think this is a ridiculous, tone deaf (considering COL) and wasteful request from the school?

This is SO wrong. What planet are they living on? Parents should be allowed to home make the costumes or borrow from previous years. Has it always happened like this ? Whats really sad is someone on the breadline may be too embarrassed and just pay it. Stand up for them and say no you can make one and do a good old fashioned white tshirt with silver tinsel !

Another one where the school provided the costumes. The kids were just told to wear certain colour clothes underneath - DD was a king and asked to wear a red top.

I think financially and environmentally all these costume requests are terrible. We get asked to provide enough with charity days, own clothes day, fundraisers, the bloody Christmas fair....

Missing the point of the thread entirely but I wish they'd done a nativity when my ds was at primary, it was all pc stuff that bore no relation to the Christmas story at all

Yeah, I think that's pretty outrageous. Our school specifically ask people not to buy costumes etc because its so wasteful and unnecessary and try to suggest clothing they're likely to already have. We usually get instructions like 'dark trousers/leggings and a red top'.
I would definitely talk to them about it. Aside from the financial element to it, its also not very environmentally friendly, which is something you'd hope they were teaching the children...

It's ridiculous on several levels. When I was an angel in the school Nativity play in 1980 - state primary school in a working class area - someone at some point had kindly made all the costumes - really good they were too - and they were used every year.

I couldn't believe that 30 years later things had gone backwards and parents were expected to buy or make them each year - though in practice there was a lot of swapping and passing on between parents going on and in the end the PTA organised donations and storage of the standard Nativity outfits.

And this school has gone even further demanding a specific costume!

This is crazy Op. I would literally tell the school to get stuffed with their outfit suggestion.

At the VERY MOST, I personally may have considered buying my own version of an angel outfit, like maybe got some super cheap wings from ebay. Deffo wouldn’t spend £30. I am very much like you, i don’t spend money on many items of clothes that will be used once.

I mean this was 25 years ago but my primary school provided all costumes for plays/nativity.

And PPs make good points - you shouldn’t have to plead with the PTA for financial help for a costume even if you genuinely couldn’t afford it.

Op that's a ridiculous request. And a waste of polyester.

School should buy them. OK they might not be able to buy 30 costumes in one year they could do a mix of making some and buying some each year until they have enough. And each year beyond that replace one or two.

We don't have to provide anything for dds school nativity. Occasionally they'll ask if anyone has x y z (tinsel etc) but the costumes are reused year after year. Dd was wearing a camel costume that my sil niece wore 15 years ago... the costumes are used twice a year (two days for xmas) and then put away. Asking anyone to pay £30 for a costume is ridiculous, even more so because I can put money on the fact it'll never be worn outside of school.

Oh and going to another parent to discuss finances? Wtaf.

This seems very odd - all through school, DD was provided with costumes that were washed and used again the following year. Parents with certain skills were sometimes asked to help make new ones when they wore out, but the schools always offered to buy the materials so they could stay in the school for the following year.

I’m a retired teacher and we always had nativity costumes that we used from year to year. There was a lovely tradition to it all and we also knew exactly how the play was going to look. The most parents may have been asked to provide would have been tights for an animal or maybe a spare pair of school trousers for a toy soldier. I cant believe they are asking you to buy this. I used to sew costumes if we needed extra as I enjoyed it. I wish I could help, do you know anyone who can sew?

What happend to white t-hirt and wings made from cardboard? Or school buying uniforms and kids using the same one for the next 30 years?

Where is their costume cupboard? Why is it empty?

What I would do is suggest that the school/PTA buy the costume and keep it for next year (and following years). Better for the environment.

Why don’t they have costumes from previous years?
Why are they choosing specific bought costumes rather than asking parents to make/contribute what they can? Which can then be saved for future years.

I’d fight this, not just for you but for the rest of the parents and future parents. The school are doing this all wrong.

Totally out of order. School/PTA should be funding the costumes and buying sustainable outfits that can be used year on year.

my dc went to a SE London prep and the private school parents would have protested if asked to buy a £30 one-off costume (as it was all costumes were fundraised for by the pta and long lasting outfits were used again and again) .

This is what I thought after reading your post. I think this is outrageous. Bad for your finances. Bad for the environment.
I think these type of expenses in schools should be banned along with specialist school uniform.

I wore one made from a pair of net curtains fashioned by my mum's colleague who was a dab hand with a sewing machine. Gotta love a homemade costume!

I would write to the school and suggest they would be better to ask parents to donate to buy the costumes for the school, which can then be used in future years. Parents can then donate what they are able and the PTA can top up any shortfall. Seems more environmentally conscience.

In the dark ages, when I was at school, I used to have costumes made out of crepe paper.

@Backtoreality1 's suggestion is good. Definitely worth having a bank of costumes for reuse, so wasteful otherwise.

Completely ridiculous on many levels, including wasteful and also insensitive to the families that can not afford it to start with.

My childrens’ primary schools bought or made costumes themselves and reused them each year. The money raised at the nativity from refreshments went first on anything that needed replacing for next year and then all into the general PTA fund. Most I ever had to supply was the odd pair of tights/bit of tinsel. Massive relief honestly.

This is the kind of thing that you really only change from within, by joining the PTA and putting forward the suggestion of a costume bank. Then you’ll probably need to volunteer to organise it.

What happened to parents being able to make costumes if they want (I know not everyone does/can, but some do)? I made my son's reception angel costume by buying a metre or so of white lining material, which was as cheap as chips, and haphazardly cutting and hand sewing it into a vague shape of a child's body. Grandad fashioned him a pair of wings out of cardboard covered with tin foil. He looked very cute and it cost peanuts. I can't sew for toffee, but I look at photos of him in that costume with a certain pride. No way would I have bought a specific costume chosen by the teacher.

It’s ridiculous but I would just keep my mouth shut and try to buy one from vinted. Complaining is a sure fire way to make sure your kid doesn’t get chosen for anything special again. That might not bother your DD but mine would love something like being Gabriel (as a child I could think of nothing worse though!)

Firstly dying to know which school this is- I’m SE London.

I would provide my own costume- ridiculous been sent one to buy, it’s a bloody school play.