School asking me to buy a £30 costume

[Tedn]

I’ll start with, this is a state school, in south east London, relatively nice area but like most London schools, some kids live in houses worth well over a million others in council houses. The school prides its self both on being inclusive and environmentally conscious.

DD is 4 and in reception, yesterday I got an email, giving all the children their nativity roles (yes I know very early but school say it’s to give parents a chance to buy the costumes) and with it links to the costume you should buy.
DD has been given the role of Angel Gabriel, the costume linked £30!!! The other angels costumes are only £15. DDs costume is the most expensive by £10 (the animals and the star are £20), and from a different place.
The teacher noted in the email that the PTA has some funds available to help those who may not be able to buy them and if that’s the case you should reach out to the class PTA rep on WhatsApp. However it’s not that I can’t afford it, it’s more just what’s the point on a £30 costume for one day? Why so much more expensive than the others?
The way the school does nativity is that the reception children have no real lines, instead all the Y1 and Y2 children narrate and the reception kids just act it out on stage. So it’s worse to me that I’d be paying £30 for a costume to wear for two afternoons to not even hear DD saying anything.
I spoke to the teacher briefly at drop off today and she said that they picked that costume as it stands out from the other angels and as she is Angel Gabriel they thought it would look better and make it easier to follow. She reminded me that I can speak to the PTA rep if I need any help buying it.
Now I’m also thinking that it’s just wasteful? What will I do with it when the nativity is over?
I will probably just buy the damned costume to save any headaches but AIBU to think this is a ridiculous, tone deaf (considering COL) and wasteful request from the school?

From the age of 8 to 11, I got to play angels in school, Sunday School and Brownies Nativity Plays enough times that DM just made me my own costume to take around to the different venues.

A cut-up white bedsheet with kimono sleeves, golden ribbons crossed over the chest to hold on the cardboard wings and a tinsel headband.
I still begrudge not having a levitating halo, though…

My kids go to a private school and they don't tell you to buy a £30 costume. They tell you to wear a certain colour top (and sometimes bottom) and then they give the kids something homemade or recycled to wear with it (donkey ears, tinsel/cardboard star etc). So much of the time it's just the cost of a t shirt if you don't currently have that colour.

It is crazy that anyone would be told what to buy and that they would choose according to family wealth.

agree that most schools buy the costumes that they use each year - or the parents can provide their own if they want/can. After all, the story doesn't change.

Whatever happen though, don't risk your daughter losing her part. Heartbreaking....

Costumes don't go home, kids come in own clothes and get ready at school, then change back into own clothes to go home. Someone on the PTA (or a few folk) wash them and they get stored at school. Works in lots of other places.

@Tedn look on e-bay etc for a similar one, second hand, or if you decide to get this one then sell it on after use.

I’m lucky enough that I could spend £30 on a costume, but I absolutely wouldn’t as it’s so wasteful!

Our school expect parents to provide costumes, but they don’t specific which ones to buy.

DD4 is a star, the guidance said wear silver. I’ve brought her a silver party dress she can wear all Christmas and a headband with a big star on it.

Angles used to be dressed in an old white sheet, or some other article of clothing that was no longer in use.

The whole 'fun' of the nativity play was the make shift costumes- the tea towels for head coverings etc.

You need to complain to the Head.

*Angels

My mum cut up her wedding dress to make my angel costume for the nativity 😳

I agree though, they’re going to do this play every year so they should have a cupboard of costumes they can wash and reuse, rather than expecting people to buy specific costumes every year. What a waste.

3 DCs and never paid for a nativity costume, the school make them and they are reused, parents just supply basics (white tights or leggings and a T-shirt for angels etc..) The Angel Gabriel wears the same dress as the other angels except she or he has good tinsel instead of silver. Costumes never come home with the children so the school can keep control.

Also a mix of families, some absolutely would not be able to afford £10 let alone £30 for a costume. We could stretch to £30 but I wouldn’t pay it on principal, I don’t even spent that on clothes for myself.

My kids primary school reused costumes from one year to the next and asked they wear a particular colour tights and top. Any plays in later years they asked for clothes that were readily available and something you either had or could reuse. This is lucky as I had twins - I wouldn’t pay £30 for one costume let alone £50-£60 for two. I think it is appalling that parts are being given to children whose parents can afford the costumes, let alone speaking to another parent to ask for help paying for it. It sounds like inclusion at this school is not considered especially as it seems to continue through the years, I would be questioning the ethos and values of the school.

That’s awful, what are you supposed to do with the costume next year? We were only ever asked to provide elements of costumes or specified what kind of home clothes were recommended for narrators to wear. School should provide costumes and if they need funding then ask for donated sum of money equal for all parents involved and opt out if parents can’t afford it.

Pillowcase and tinsel all the way. How old is the class teacher, I'm guessing young. I'd write to the head, more about the waste than the cost, do they have any of the environmental badges in the footer of their homepage? If so flag them.

I’d buy it and give it
to the school afterwards for them to use next time.

Angel costume used to be a pillow case with holes cut in (a white bin bag would work too) and tinsel. Maybe cardboard wings if you were from a particularly creative family! £30 is absurd, they'd be far better having a bank of costumes to reuse.

This brings back memories for me... As an Angel, I definitely wore a pillowcase with silver tinsel one year. And I've also been put in black bin bag before, too. Although that was on Halloween when I was dressed a wicked witch.

You can donate it so another parent doesn't have to buy it next year. Or withdraw your child from that role and let them play another angel or less prominent part. Let a family who wants it go for it.

I would consider approaching it from a sustainability angle.. it makes no sense to require the whole class to purchase costumes made from poor quality materials for single use.

Suggest instead that guidelines are given for homemade costumes, encourage second hand purchases and suggest that the school seriously consider having a set of costumes that parents contribute to each year. Yes, this is more work on staff.. but perhaps they could ask for parent volunteers to help, with the option to do so at a weekend.

Or withdraw your child from that role and let them play another angel or less prominent part. Let a family who wants it go for it.

Ah, yes - society is always much fairer when poorer people are excluded from opportunities for no reason whatsoever...

That's rubbish when I was Mary in my school play and school provided all costumes. But they were all handmade I remember having to get measured up for my costume. Because I was tall and the costume they had was too small.

Same with my kids school they would never expect us to provide costumes. Unless it was something we had anyway

This is absolute madness.
I'm a trustee of our PTA and I would be fucking raging to discover PTA funds spent on anything other than reusable costumes for the school to retain - and even then only if there was a surplus after we'd paid for all the actually important things were constantly trying to raise money for.
Tinsel round the head, big white T-shirt, job done.
100% raise this with head and governors. Madness.

In our London school the costumes get handed down/shared from older years. The school just does not want to store all of them, although they do keep donkeys and the 3 Kings! Have you tried asking people on the WhatsApp groups for Year 1 or 2 whether they still have an Angel Gabriel costume to borrow/purchase 2nd hand?

Are the days of homemade costumes over then?

In all the years I was at school, we never ever purchased a costume.

YANBU, out of principal, I'd be refusing and would make an outfit for a fraction of the cost instead.

I fear this will just be the start of your venting of random school costs if your child is only 4yrs old. I home educate my children and thankfully don't have any of this nonsense to contend with!

Surely in most schools they have a pile of old costumes that they bring out each year for the nativity?! At the very least, they should be asking you to cobble some cardboard wings and a tinsel halo together rather than dictating that you must a) buy a costume and b) buy the precise costume they request. THIRTY QUID?!

Our primary school has a thriving Facebook group for giving away/swapping costumes and uniform. Christmas, plays, Book Day, any other dress-up day, coloured T-shirts for Sports day. I made ds1 a sheep outfit about 12 years ago now that is still doing the rounds 😆

And surely it is Law that shepherds wear dressing gowns and teatowels? Even better if it's a Spider-Man dressing gown!

Tedn, can you ask around in the years above for who's kid played Gabriel before? Someone probably has that costume stuffed in a cupboard still.

What happened to shepherds wearing cheap flannel cloth with cutouts and tea towels handed down year after year and angels wearing sheets with holes in and halos made from tinsel 😂 paper crowns for the kings etc

Does the school think it's a West End production?? The charm of a primary school nativity is that it's homemade, mismatched, and a bit shit.

I was a sheep in our nativity in 1996ish. I wore a white t-shirt and leggings, and the teacher cut out paper ears (similar to the attached photo I pulled from google, minus the dalmatian spots) and I stamped "wool" spirals onto the ears using a spring and grey paint.