School asking me to buy a £30 costume

[Tedn]

I’ll start with, this is a state school, in south east London, relatively nice area but like most London schools, some kids live in houses worth well over a million others in council houses. The school prides its self both on being inclusive and environmentally conscious.

DD is 4 and in reception, yesterday I got an email, giving all the children their nativity roles (yes I know very early but school say it’s to give parents a chance to buy the costumes) and with it links to the costume you should buy.
DD has been given the role of Angel Gabriel, the costume linked £30!!! The other angels costumes are only £15. DDs costume is the most expensive by £10 (the animals and the star are £20), and from a different place.
The teacher noted in the email that the PTA has some funds available to help those who may not be able to buy them and if that’s the case you should reach out to the class PTA rep on WhatsApp. However it’s not that I can’t afford it, it’s more just what’s the point on a £30 costume for one day? Why so much more expensive than the others?
The way the school does nativity is that the reception children have no real lines, instead all the Y1 and Y2 children narrate and the reception kids just act it out on stage. So it’s worse to me that I’d be paying £30 for a costume to wear for two afternoons to not even hear DD saying anything.
I spoke to the teacher briefly at drop off today and she said that they picked that costume as it stands out from the other angels and as she is Angel Gabriel they thought it would look better and make it easier to follow. She reminded me that I can speak to the PTA rep if I need any help buying it.
Now I’m also thinking that it’s just wasteful? What will I do with it when the nativity is over?
I will probably just buy the damned costume to save any headaches but AIBU to think this is a ridiculous, tone deaf (considering COL) and wasteful request from the school?

Very good point about homemade outfits.
I'm sure back in the day the actual shepherd's etc had very basic outfits.

Why are parents or the PTA being expected to buy costumes? When I was little, and when my daughter was at school, parents almost always made costumes for nativity or other performances. That's always been part of the charm.

It's kind of depressing, really. Even infant school nativity plays are so commercialised.

When DD was a shepherd she wore the very same costume that my mum made for me out of a bed sheet 30 years earlier. With her old sleep sheep under her arm and a pillowcase on her head she was a picture of festive joy.

(I was secretly hoping the sleep sheep would start bellowing out whale song during the service for added hilarity, but DD was too savvy and took the battery pack out.)

First of all, saying 'You can donate the £30 next year' doesn't help the parents who don't have £30 spare in the first place. For most parents it's not just about finding £30 for a costume that will only get worn once, it's about finding £30 at all.

Secondly, if you think kids from families who don't have £30 to spare shouldn't get to participate in school activities and should step back to the sidelines to let the wealthy kids have all the fun, your moral compass is fundamentally broken.

Another here rooting for homemade, at least partially. Could you find a white/cream dress on FB Marketplace that might actually get worn again? Then buy half a metre of shiny gold fabric to tack onto it? It seems the kids could be making part of their costumes (wings) as part of the show preparations.

It might sound silly, but I think that having super professional costumes could end up putting pressure on these little kids - if their young skills at acting/remembering lines and where to stand/not frantically waving when they see mummy in the audience don't match up to the perfection of the costumes.

Just in case it helps anyone, Sainsburys Tu have nativity costumes for £14 to £16 online.

I agree with the charm of improvised and homemade costumes though.

It seems gone are the days where you would have a few creative afternoons with the kids making costumes for the annual nativity play.
At our primary most parents who buy costumes then wash them and give to school so there’s always a clean stock of sheep, camels, shepherds, kings and angels available for parents who can’t get costumes - think this is the way forward.

When mine were at nursery the angels wore a white shirt back to front , some wings and a tinsel halo

That is completely nuts
If the school does a nativity play e ery year then the school needs to buy a set of costumes and use them annually. It's not like the characters change from year to year.

Asking parents to fork over money for a costume each child will personally own is cheeky and stupid in equal measure.

@SiousieSoo
The children would put on and take off the costumes in school. No costume would leave the building. This is what happens in schools run by sensible people.

Really? I will have to tell that to the highly competent team in charge of the primary school my children attended then...🙄

If they're sending children home with school property that would cost money to replace, they should give their costume policy a rethink, @SiousieSoo.

@mathanxiety Similar to the OP, the school did not purchase or store nativity outfits, there would not be space for them to do this. Not all schools have sufficient indoor, warm and waterproof space allocation to manage the storage requirements for the plethora of nativity costumes in scope for each nativity.

Just awful that they are expecting parents to pay this much. This was an issue at our primary. The rich middle class parents would quite sensibly say they weren't buying a new costume and would have the time an skills to make something at home. Those who couldn't afford it would feel embarrassed to say so and would spend the money anyway. Many parents who were environmentally conscious felt really awkward (what's the point if you then buy a pack of plastic for a costume shipped from a Chinese sweat shop). So much better if the school can provide costumes or get them second hand. Our box of nativity costumes all fitted in one cardboard box, so not really a storage issue.

Not being angel Gabrielle in a play is not a right. That is life. The parent can't afford £30 how does that preclude the child from participating in school activities? Your reasoning is not only lazy and entitled but seriously defective and illogical. The child can participate by taking up a role that doesn't require any costume at all or simply encourage those who in on stage. Not everyone comes first, not every had £30 and not everyone can be angel Gabrielle!

This sort of weak, lazy entitlement mentality is what is produces teenagers and adults who can't deal with not having their way all the time in life. Get real!

That's cute. Def try eBay or vinted and Def resell on eBay or Vinted or to next year's Angel Gabrielle if school won't change their approach.
It might take more than cash tho, someone will end up taking home 30 costumes to wash, many of which will need to hang dry etc. But it sounds a lovely way to make a change in your grandparents memory

Fuck me, £30?

What happened to a bunch of sheets, blankets etc cut up for 'robes' of various colours and some tinsel and wire halos, or teatowels on heads for shepherds, that all live in a spidery cardboard box in teh back of a cupboard between seasons?

My primary school DID ask my mother to supply a wand for the Angel Gabriel (i mean do angels even have wands) but this wasn't because they were tight, it was because my sister had used the ancient original to smite one of her class mates and it was buggered and need replacing.

Pineapple23

No I think you need to get real. In all my years of working in schools I’ve never come across this.

In our school we organise all costumes but send out a voluntary list of requested items that are cheap and easy to source. We have a bank of nativity costumes and play props and costumes too.There is a very small budget for items that need to be bought. Hardly any shop bought costumes at all.We put on a massive end of year production that changes and a nativity every year in this way.Nobody is excluded or given parts based on financial ability. I don’t think any of our parents could afford a £30 costume for one night. Never heard of a school putting demands like this on parents, it must be a London thing.

This is bloody awful! Utterly wasteful financially and environmentally. Thankfully when my kids were in primary school we just cobbled something together in a way that suited parents (homemade from household items, borrowed outfits or items, charity shop purchases, eBay, sometimes new)

We are short of space. Activity costumes could easily be packed into 2 curver boxes the space of which should be a priority. I’ ve worked in schools big and small and very much doubt that space somewhere couldn’t be found in all schools.

The Angel Gabriel = white outfit (old bed sheets?) with some home made wings (wire bent into wing shape and covered with pva tissue paper?) with a wired tinsel halo.

We had similar from a Year 1 teacher she was unhinged. It was only the beginning of her appalling behaviour - which oddly few parents noticed because she was very pretty and smiled a lot - you can cover up a lot of shit with a smile.

Like many our school provides the costumes where things may have needed to be bought (like a few donkey onesies). Angels are normally asked to come dressed in light clothes and they make a crown in class. They make a lot of other accessories too for the other roles too and the kids look and feel very proud in their hand made costumes.

@Tedn I would email school or speak to someone that’s not the class teacher - deputy head maybe. Being sent a link for something to purchase (esp for £30 - wtf!!) is pretty disgusting and someone has clearly just gone through the blog on that website and copied all the links, rather than use their imagination. Honestly, what’s wrong with coloured T-shirts and accessories made by the little stars of the show?! So much lovelier to see than a load of “perfect” shop bought outfits. Who needs to afford Christmas presents in a cost of living crisis, eh?

As an aside, that outfit is absolutely disgusting and over priced. Christmas hell would freeze over before I put my hand in my pocket for an abomination like that.

Also, floor length outfits on a load of four year olds.. what could possibly go wrong? Can you imagine the carnage in the toilets and the amount of tripping there’ll be?! I hope there’s a risk assessment in place!

The school would need volunteers to run a costume system annually but maybe some of PTA would do this?