School asking me to buy a £30 costume

[Tedn]

I’ll start with, this is a state school, in south east London, relatively nice area but like most London schools, some kids live in houses worth well over a million others in council houses. The school prides its self both on being inclusive and environmentally conscious.

DD is 4 and in reception, yesterday I got an email, giving all the children their nativity roles (yes I know very early but school say it’s to give parents a chance to buy the costumes) and with it links to the costume you should buy.
DD has been given the role of Angel Gabriel, the costume linked £30!!! The other angels costumes are only £15. DDs costume is the most expensive by £10 (the animals and the star are £20), and from a different place.
The teacher noted in the email that the PTA has some funds available to help those who may not be able to buy them and if that’s the case you should reach out to the class PTA rep on WhatsApp. However it’s not that I can’t afford it, it’s more just what’s the point on a £30 costume for one day? Why so much more expensive than the others?
The way the school does nativity is that the reception children have no real lines, instead all the Y1 and Y2 children narrate and the reception kids just act it out on stage. So it’s worse to me that I’d be paying £30 for a costume to wear for two afternoons to not even hear DD saying anything.
I spoke to the teacher briefly at drop off today and she said that they picked that costume as it stands out from the other angels and as she is Angel Gabriel they thought it would look better and make it easier to follow. She reminded me that I can speak to the PTA rep if I need any help buying it.
Now I’m also thinking that it’s just wasteful? What will I do with it when the nativity is over?
I will probably just buy the damned costume to save any headaches but AIBU to think this is a ridiculous, tone deaf (considering COL) and wasteful request from the school?

Ridiculous
She could wear same angel dress as others but maybe have a diff coloured tinsel 'Halo' to the others ??
Plus could tie same colours around waist ?

In the 90s I remember the angel Gabriel had a gold tinsel halo instead of a silver tinsel halo... all angels wore old white sheets or shirts tho.. seems less wasteful than a brand new costume! Also cost next to nothing

I remember being the Angel Gabriel at school (I was ginger so stood out 😆) and I just had gold tinsel wrapped round my coat hanger halo instead of silver.

When my girls were Nativity angels the school provided the outfits and we just had to send white tights and shoes in.

Can you find the same outfit second hand anywhere. It seems like a one use kind of buy so might be worth looking on Vinted and Ebay.

"Nativities look best when the costumes are clearly "wrong" My son the shepherd had a plain dressing gown and tea towel on his head. He was the only shepherd who said no to face paints (beard and moist ache) so was a young shepherd on the programme"

This a million times. My son was an animal in the stable and I sent him in a scooby doo dress up costume we already had. My daughter was an angel amd I made wings out of a sheet and glued on nappy liners in the shape of feathers. I'm no craft person but it was fine.

I'm also aghast that you are expected to contact PTA yourselves. Nativity plays should be slightly wonky. That's the joy of them.

I would make the following suggestion to the Headteacher!
“Dear HT
As you know, we are all struggling with the COL crisis at the moment, and expecting parents to pay not insignificant sums of money for nativity costumes seems to be inappropriate. Suggesting a parent who may not be able to afford the cost then approaches another parent PTA rep to ask for a financial hand-out is also highly inappropriate, not least very embarrassing.
The other side to this is the waste. I suggest that the PTA buy all the costumes this year and those costumes can then be reused each year thus fitting in with the Reduce / Reuse / Recycle ethos. I’m sure that if a request went out to parents to ask if they could donate an amount to support this they would be more than willing. Or perhaps hold a non uniform day where each child pays £1 to come in their own clothes? There are many ways to raise the funds for this!
Yours, Tedn”

I'd be telling the teacher to bugger off and offering her a bedsheet and a bit of tinsel. She could make several angels out of a king size sheet.

Buy a secondhand costume from ebay for a few quid and tell the school it's ridiculous and wasteful to pay £30 for a child's costume that they will wear once.

It would be much better if the school just said the costume should be appropriately coloured t shirt and shorts, but if all the kids have bought costumes then kids can feel very left out if theirs is home made (I know I did).

Have they done similar on previous years? (Ie does another parent of an older child maybe have the same costume stuck in the back of their wardrobe?) we used to swap around costumes a lot via WhatsApp groups at my kids school. I agree with you it’s very wasteful.

School are being extremely anal and controlling here. Who insists on actual specific costumes from a specific source for a nativity? You MAKE a nativity costume! You trawl charity shops, borrow things, use the odd dressing gown (ok, maybe Minecraft fleece jobs not the same as beige 70's ones). If they care that much about the overall look of it (which is very much against the usual spirit of a 30 minute school nativity play) then they should source the costumes themselves, or hire them.

Good grief. When DD was in Reception angel's costumes were made out of old sheets with tinsel halos. If any parent was feeling particularly creative, they had coat hanger wings with tinsel wrapped round.

You need to get on to the PTA and start a revolt against this, it's ridiculous in any terms let alone for a school that claims to be environmentally conscious.

Definitely write and propose that school hold a supply of costumes funded by PTA/parents on the grounds that:

1. Environmental impact is greatly reduced
2. It's inclusive as roles aren't dependent on parent/guardians financial situation
3. The same basic costumes are required every year
4. School is able to control the aesthetic of the show if that is important to them
5. Less well off parents aren't required to declare their financial situation to other parents on the PTA
6. Presumably they already keep and reuse props every year

I agree with your sentiments 💯%, but beware becoming that ‘known parent’ 🙂

This is ridiculous on so many levels. I think it's fairly predictable that schools do a nativity each year which therefore requires pretty much the same costumes - why on earth doesn't the school just keep them from year to year? Also 'in my day' no one bought a special pre made costume. Shepherds wore dressing gowns with tea towels on their heads, angels wore something (anything) white with some tinsel wrapped round a piece of wire to make a halo. Surely that home made approach is part of the charm?

Talk the pta. Suggest a fundraiser where all parents donate, and the pta purchases the set of the costumes for the school to own and retain for future use. Point out that this is far less wasteful and better for the environment.

I wouldn't buy that £30 costume the school have linked. How cheeky asking you to buy a specific one.

I would source a much cheaper one and then just say nothing. Nothing they can do.

Vinted is great! There are some angel costumes on it.

I don't think its true that costumes have always been a bit of tinsel & a bedsheet.

Im late thirties. When i was a child around half the mothers in primary school didn't work, it wasn't unusual to own a sewing machine and lots of quite good costumes were sewn by parents. Our school had built up a stash of these over the years and they were as good & better than the plasticky stuff you can buy now .

I think the big difference is working parents have neither the time nor the skills to do this. Teachers also don't have time, but lots of parents want to see the polished looking school play with neat costumes.

To specify the costume seems excessive.

At our school, the school provide the costumes. I know many local schools have PTA costume banks, where they keep donated costumes and for a pound or 2 your child can use them for the performance - environmentally friendly and raising funds.

I would suck it up for this year, but also approach school and the PTA and suggest a change of approach for next year.

Wow those vinted ones look just as good as the £30 one the school wanted her to buy

This is ridiculous. In reception my dd was asked to wear white and given cardboard wings and a halo made from tinsel. Throughout the school costumes were made or bought and reused and recycled. Parents came in and helped kids make costumes and grandparents were a wizz with sewing. It was a lovely community effort.

I'd definitely be voicing an opinion. It's so wasteful. No creativity.

My Mum used to make our nativity costumes.

Our school provides the costumes. They keep them from year to year and reuse them. I think each year they try to sort something new so that the cost isn't too much in one go for them. This is in quite a deprived area though, the school rarely ask for money.

I have always thought this. PTA should fund one set of costumes, and perhaps school ask for a voluntary donation of £5 to cover the “hire”. Same play every year, same characters, get a big box and store them at school. Im pretty sure they don’t buy Xmas decorations new each year! Such an environmental waste (cheap poly Amazon costumes made in the worst factories) and completely useless after. I would buy the costume so you LO feels super special on the day, and start a rally to get everyone to donate theirs to the school afterwards so no one else has to face this dilemma.
To ask you to approach another parent with your money worries is an absolute p*ss take!
Ps even though they don’t speak I bet you will cry 😉

This!

It seems a bit ott to be expecting individual parents to purchase costumes in this way. Even if they sold tickets to the nativity at a very low cost that could go towards the costumes and backdrop etc for the following years panto, or as others have said get the pta to fund it.

I worked in schools for years and hearing there’s a school that allegedly allocates the roles in the reception nativity based on how much money they think the parents can afford to spend on a costume is one of the most unfair things I have ever heard. Fuck making your own or getting second hand, that school needs a kick up the arse.

Also don’t be afraid of making a fuss. My kids were angels and had excellent attendance at their last school. We always sucked it up and provided the random stuff the school wanted for various shite fundraisers and did the stupid nonsensical homeworks and we never got any different treatment from anyone else.