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AIBU?

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Original poster

Too late to have first child?

174 replies

ImWally6 · 29/10/2023 17:48

Im 38, 39 in Feb.

Started trying for a baby the middle of August (periods still not synced after removal of coil, had one real period.)

Not pregnant yet (weekly tests) and I'm now panicking that I have left it too late to have our first baby (only want one baby)

Have I?

OP posts:
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5
HaveNoIdeaForAName · 29/10/2023 17:50

No.

Firebug007 · 29/10/2023 17:50

No 💐

Dennerfold · 29/10/2023 17:51

I know people who have had an unexpected but safe pregnancy at 45, no fertility treatments involved as they happened naturally

whatamess100 · 29/10/2023 17:51

Not at all!!! Loads of ppl i know are 40-43 all having first children!

PrimalLass · 29/10/2023 17:52

No - but I'd likely be using as much science as I could, such as taking temps and using ovulation sticks. Worked for me.

DisforDarkChocolate · 29/10/2023 17:53

Weekly tests will not help. Eat well, take pregnancy vitamins and give your body the chance to get used to the coil removal.

TentChristmas · 29/10/2023 17:54

No, but do your daily temperatures, track your cycle and use OPK sticks. If you have the funds you can pay for an initial appointment with an IVF clinic to have basic tests done for you both, so you know if there’s a problem you can get started early with help.

PinkRoses1245 · 29/10/2023 17:56

Kindly you can’t change the past, so you need to not worry. If it happens it’ll happen. Weekly pregnancy testing won’t help. I’d be doing daily ovulation testing if you not already, and doing everything possible to be healthy, no alcohol or smoking, healthy diet, conception supplement - both of you!

Original poster
ImWally6 · 29/10/2023 17:56

Thanks guys.

I need to do some reading. What does tempature do? I'm really worrying

OP posts:
ColourMeBlue · 29/10/2023 17:59

I had a surprise baby at 38 (39 two months later).Absolutely not to late whatsoever 😊

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 29/10/2023 18:03

You’re not too old at all. I’m 38 too and if I didn’t already have older kids in no way shape or form do I feel too old to have a baby. Though I don’t know how fertile I would be now.

keep trying. It may take longer than it would have 10 years ago, but hopefully it’ll still happen for you. My sister in law had her fist at 39, though he does have Down’s syndrome he is healthy and a delight. Took her a while to decide to have a second and then a while to get pregnant after that, but her second was born when she was 45 and he’s completely healthy.

I myself wouldn’t choose to have such a late baby he is a joy to them. She’s tired but happy. Keep trying, it’s not too late.

EightOfHearts · 29/10/2023 18:04

We have friends in our NCT class who are 37 and 38. The one who is 38 is planning another baby. It took them 6 months to get pregnant for first.

PerspiringElizabeth · 29/10/2023 18:04

So you started trying like 2 months ago? Don’t panic yet!

buckingmad · 29/10/2023 18:06

It took me a year to get pregnant with my first and I was 26, slim, non drinker or smoker.

Took me a while to get the knack of temping and ovulation sticks so I would do some reading on that if I were you.

Poudretteite · 29/10/2023 18:07

Couldn't work out which way the poll was, but no. This is your third month trying? That's nothing. Good luck x

GunboatDiplomacy · 29/10/2023 18:07

Two months is nothing. But at your age I would do ovulation tests so you know how your body is functioning from week to week and roughly when to "focus your efforts"

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 29/10/2023 18:07

I just noticed you’ve only been trying since august. It took my 7 months trying for my second at 22. 2 months is nothing. Don’t panic yet!

Poudretteite · 29/10/2023 18:08

*Although I do know how stressful ttc can be and how it can take over your life just wanting to fast-forward through fortnightly intervals.
Try to distract yourself as much as possible. Do nice things for yourself.

DrinkingAllTheGin · 29/10/2023 18:09

I am sitting on the sofa feeding my 5 month old, born when I was 42.
It took 2 years and a miscarriage but she is perfect.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 29/10/2023 18:10

The trith is nobody knows OP maybe too late for some, not for others only time will tell. You have had good advice here, good luck.

Wibblywobblylikejelly · 29/10/2023 18:12

If you can it may help to reach out to a local fertility clinic. Ours offered Fertility MOTs.

Ap24 · 29/10/2023 18:13

No. I'm pregnant with our first (and last!) child. When I went for a private scan I assumed I would be an older mother at 37/38 but was told the average age for FTMs paying for a scan was 41. Both me and DH would have liked to have been younger but life didn't work out that way for us. And there are plenty of benefits to being older, neither are as career driven as in our younger years and we are financially stable.

All that being said I wouldn't hold off on any fertility tests. It took us a long time to conceive.

PartTimeLove · 29/10/2023 18:15

Nope.

I second tracking your temperature with an app + using OKP sticks to figure out when you're ovulating. Ideally you want to have sex 1-2 days before you ovulate.

Good luck!

Helenahandkart · 29/10/2023 18:16

It might be too late, it might not. I started trying at 35, I was unlucky. Don’t waste any time, but equally, don’t waste money and stress on tests and crazy lifestyle changes and temperature charts because the chances are it’ll make no difference.
Stop smoking if you smoke.

Just have lots of sex. Lots and lots of sex.

Rtc12 · 29/10/2023 18:16

You're definitely not too old. If you aren't pregnant after trying for 6 months then you can get fertility tests done on the NHS. Try the sperm meets egg method, Google it