Too late to have first child?

[ImWally6]

Im 38, 39 in Feb.

Started trying for a baby the middle of August (periods still not synced after removal of coil, had one real period.)

Not pregnant yet (weekly tests) and I'm now panicking that I have left it too late to have our first baby (only want one baby)

Have I?

Read the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" if you want to know about how to track your cycle.

38 is not too old for most women to have a baby.

I had my first baby at 38. She's lovely and healthy and happy.

No you aren’t. It’s doable but do get tests/help sooner.

I had my first at 40. My periods were a mess coming off the pill too, Inofolic and fertility tracking app helped!

The second youngest woman in my NCT group was 36. All of the friends that DC have made at nursery have parents over 40. First child in late 30s really isn’t that unusual anymore.

Not many people conceive straight away either regardless of age and especially after coming off birth control.

I had my first at 36. Not planned quite that way as I started TTC at 25. Currently expecting my second at 37 who was very much a surprise after one try. It’s so hard to tell how things happen.

It depends on your ovarian reserve - can you get it checked? I had my ovarian reserve checked due to failing to conceive after a year and it was low at 31 (now 34). For context, we did IVF & only got 8 eggs despite being on max dose of meds. Best of luck. If you don't conceive in 6 months, go to GP x

Why are you testing weekly? Do you know when you ovulate or are you tracking it? Don't put any unnecessary stress on yourself by testing weekly, 1) it's a waste of money 2) it's a waste of time if you're not doing it at the right time and 3) it's gonna cause heartache.

I hope not OP, as I'm just turned 40 and am 9 weeks pregnant with our first. It took 3 years, the latter half of which we'd actually stopped actively trying having assumed it wasn't going to happen.

Don't give up hope x

You're not too old to have a baby but you never know if you are to conceive. I struggled at 27 and needed ivf, but I would've at 39 too due to a condition I have. Best of luck

You might be - or you might not. We started trying when I was 34 and didn’t have our first (and only) child until I was 38. Low ovarian reserve. We were VERY lucky.

It depends on your individual physiology not on what random strangers on the internet advise.

No. What works is having lots of sex.

I got pregnant very quickly at age 36 and 38, you’re not too old at all.

Hopefully not, it’s after 40 it can get really tricky.

I recommend the Premom app and ovulation tests. And spend some time on the conception topic to get your head around it.

Weekly testing suggests to me that you don’t know when you ovulated (or even if you have ovulated?). That’s the first thing to work out/ predict so you know when you need be having sex.

I know it sounds very forced and unspontaneous, but at your age I’d start seriously now instead of spending 6 months causally trying first and then being more targeted.

No you haven’t, I am currently pregnant with our first. I am 38, 39 in January after thinking I just couldn’t be one pregnant.

Hope it happens for you soon 🤞

There is still a chance.

Absolutely not! I know this is just anecdotal but I had my first at 29 and my second at 38. I am a completely different parent now, to both of them. More present, patient, less selfish. Energy wise, I have more strangely!

I could happily go on to have more!

I had mine at 36, 38 & 42.

agree everyone’s different, many of my antenatal class were in their 40s having first children.

Number 1 piece of advice we had was don’t get too caught up in the tracking and testing, but do make a very concerted effort to have sex every other day all month long, not just days and times you “think” are right, as you may be entirely missing the timing.

For us that worked, and very much against the odds, and also got pregnancy not at points in the month that my tracking would have had me aiming for.

It still took a long time overall but got a lot more successful once we ditched ovulation tests and tried every other day instead. If you don’t know your cycle yet or it’s a bit off then at least then you should get timing ok

Statistically, possibly, yes. Fertility dramatically declined after age 35 so it is much harder to conceive.

It’s possible, but it’s also worth being aware it may not happen.

@ImWally6 no you haven't left it too late! I know lots of people who've had first babies naturally after the age of 40... These days people are having babies later than ever especially with careers and travelling etc so it's now the norm!

Try not to stress about it as it's not long since you've had coil removed and it may take a few months for your cycle to settle into a regular routine. My advice is to download an app such as Flo and start tracking your cycle so you get familiar with when you ovulate (usually 14 days before next period starts), eat well and start taking folic acid now (to prevent neural tube defects) as it takes approx 3 months for a good level to build up in your system.

Took me 3 months to conceive 3rd child at 39, first two were instant. So I wouldn’t be worrying at all at this stage - good luck and come back when you have that positive test 😍

Not to late at all! Best not to stress about it though.

Definitely not!