Too late to have first child?

[ImWally6]

Im 38, 39 in Feb.

Started trying for a baby the middle of August (periods still not synced after removal of coil, had one real period.)

Not pregnant yet (weekly tests) and I'm now panicking that I have left it too late to have our first baby (only want one baby)

Have I?

It's not too late - I just had my first DC at 39.

What you have written is a myth.

The fertility declining at 35 was due to a study in French peasants in 18th century who weren't as healthy as people today. In fact lots of women can easily conceive up to the age of 42 whether it is their first pregnancy or fifth.

The issue is the OP doesn't know her ovarian reserve and she doesn't know if her partner has issues with his sperm.

So if after 6 months of having lots of sex she isn't pregnant both she and her partner need to have their fertility looked at without delay.

Unlikely. It just might take your a few more months of trying but most women will conceive at your age

38 will be too late for some people and it won't be for others. You have no idea which one you are until you start trying. I know some people who have successfully conceived in the late 30s and 40s and I also know people who were never able to have a baby - multiple miscarriages or they couldn't conceive at all. 100% go for it but be realistic too. Good luck.

Had my second at 40, took 4 months to fall pregnant. Wishing you the best of luck

Nope, I had my first at 41, no medical help, just the old-fashioned way.

Didn’t even try very long (3 months).

@ImWally6 Do not take this advice. Lots and lots of sex reduces the sperm count, making it more unlikely that you will become pregnant. Unfortunately, this may be why this poster was unlucky, when trying to conceive.

The Fertility Family gives some very good and clear advice about conception.

Not too old but at your age the timing of sex vs ovulation I'd more critical.

I'd recommend the book Expecting Better by Emily Oster

Nope, 2 months off 38 when I had mine, now trying for another and I will be at least 40. Was an easy pregnancy, and my DD is the light of my life, don't lose heart!

No, you haven't. Trying since mid-August isn't very long at all! It can take a year or more to conceive. Some people conceive easily, some don't. The earlier you start the higher the chances, but even then age is no guarantee. Some people start trying to conceive at 25 and don't for several years or finally conceive via fertility treatments. Others naturally conceive after a condom split one time in their mid 40s.

If you want to be proactive start tracking ovulation. Use LH test strips and/or body temping. But you've literally been trying for 2 cycles. There is something like a 25% chance of conceiving first cycle, on average 75% will conceive by 6 months. You've got a while to go before starting to worry.

I think it's late. I'm a couple of years younger than you and freaking out that I'm going to really struggle to conceive and that it could take years.

Good Lord no! I was 42 (my second baby though). It was the better of my two pregnancies to be honest!

This looks like very good advice, to me.

It's still very early days. I took 7 months to get pregnant when I was 22.

Not necessarily too late - lots of people do have babies in their 40's. But you won't know for sure until it happens, or it doesn't.

My daughter gave birth to her one and only child on her 39th Birthday. But her subsequent attempts for another failed. On the other hand, My Maternal Grandmother gave birth to her one and only when she was 44 back in 1929, long before there were any kind of interventions

But if you can afford it, see if you can get a private appointment to do tests and make sure everything is fine - because if you need interventions, then the sooner the better

Also be aware - stress can prevent you getting pregnant, so try not to test weekly

You must have left it until now for a reason and you can't change that. Loads of women fall pregnant in their late thirties and 40's.

Absolutely not. I hope all goes well for you.

Well if you have been with your OH for a long time and you actively made the decision to wait until this age then yes you absolutely took a foolish risk in waiting, but if you mean that you only met your partner in the last few years and so could only start trying now, then there was nothing you could do about that and it's absolutely better late than never!

Best of luck either way, hope it all works out for you 💐

We've been together for 10 years, house for 5 and engaged for 2.

I left it until now as I have manic depression and my mental health blighted my life for many years.

I also had 2 traumatic events happen to me a couple of years ago which set back my mental health.

I've only been stable the past 2 years or so. I've not felt strong enough to become a mother before now.

That's why I've left it as late as I have.

Thanks so much to everyone I'm going to write all of your advice down to help with my research.

The key one is not to stress. I'm also going to get my amh levels checked.

I had my first at 40 (pregnant at 39). Needed Ivf. Suggest you get a referral asap

These charts are useful

I highly recommend the purple (not the pink) clearblue digital ovulation kit. I had my first DD at 41 and I don't think she would be here without this kit. It.took me.2.months.

I had DS at 39 and DD at 42. Both perfect healthy children.

We didn't do temping or charting, just had lots of sex. Relaxed and enjoyed it. I used ovulation sticks a few times and got pregnant with DD at a completely different time.

From the links and charts above it looks like your chances are about 6/10 of a natural conception in 12 months. So more likely than not, but not a sure thing.

For reference it would have been 9/10 ten years ago and possibly 9.5/10 before 26.

As others have said eat well, be a healthy weight regular exercise and sex 2-3 times a week. Good luck.