Too late to have first child?

[ImWally6]

Im 38, 39 in Feb.

Started trying for a baby the middle of August (periods still not synced after removal of coil, had one real period.)

Not pregnant yet (weekly tests) and I'm now panicking that I have left it too late to have our first baby (only want one baby)

Have I?

How can your GP adjust for that if you don't know which day you ovulate? Not everyone ovulates 14 days before their period. I don't.

I have spent time on the conception boards and yes there is the occasional outlier who is testing every day and people are usually telling her to calm down. But that's not tracking your ovulation, that's obsessing.

I used to start taking my temperature in the second week in my cycle, using ovulation tests a few days after that, then once I got a positive ovulation test I'd keep taking my temperature for a few more days until I saw the rise and then I'd stop for the rest of my cycle. One First Response test taken on 12 DPO will tell you whether you are pregnant or not. The only people taking loads of pregnancy tests are the ones who start testing daily at 8 DPO or even earlier and the ones who don't know when they ovulated.

Sorry to keep banging on about this, it just really gets my goat when people who clearly don't have a lot of knowledge about cycle tracking just dismiss it and say it's counterproductive because it makes you more stressed. That is really bad advice.

What is really counterproductive is not having sex on the best days, and what is really stressful is not knowing when or even whether you are ovulating or when to expect your period.

The reason you most likely know someone who finally got pregnant when she relaxed and had a few cocktails on holiday is because people have more sex on holiday and if you go away for two weeks there's a decent chance you will ovulate during that time. Correlation does not equal causation.

I've been pregnant 7 times unfortunately, because I had early losses. I was not at all stressed the first time I got pregnant, on my first cycle trying. By the time I was a year into the process I was incredibly stressed but I was still getting pregnant practically every cycle we tried. My entire first trimester with my 6th pregnancy was the most stressful three months of my life and guess what, that time I had a healthy baby.

Agree with @PrimalLass - ovulation sticks worked for me at 38.

You haven’t, I was conceived at 45 and my sisters and SIL had their first babies their 40s for various reasons. All 100% healthy babies and no treatments required for mums to get pregnant.

Oh @MargotBamborough if you’re having sex as advised every 2-3 days it’s impossible to miss your window. Sex shouldn't be rationed! 😂

If you follow the advice and have a healthy sex life you don’t need to track ovulation. Sure we likely all have anovulation at some points in the year/our life but very, very few people (those a few standard deviations from the mean) have chronic anovulation and guess what?! If you do have it it’s likely resolved with lifestyle changes (excepting PCOS etc)… such as reducing stress (which we’ve already spoken about and you deny has any association 🤣)

Oh look.. the conpany who you likely buy your OPKs and pregnancy tests from had a little bit of info for you on it:
https://uk.clearblue.com/fertility/anovulation

Christ on a bike, you’d think you were only allowed to get your rocks off once a month and it must be timed with the utmost precision.

Heads up it doesn’t!! 🥳🥳

You just needed a bit more fun under the covers… it might solve your conception issues, your stress levels, and make you less highly strung!!

That's fine. You do you. You don’t get stressed - it helps you to test, good for you. If it helps anyone else, good for them. It doesn't help everyone- it can be a stress factor for many.
The same way that some people thrive on stress of deadlines at work and others don't.

Your opinion is not universal fact. GPs generally do know what they are doing, and there is lots of scientific research that has been done on fertility. And there is such a thing as unexplained infertility, which means that everything seemingly works as it should, but pregnancy doesn't occur.

Let others come to their own conclusion from all the opinions they read and hopefully do some scientific research online on their own or ask trained professionals.

I'm out. I'm not here to convince you- I've got better things to do with my time. I answered the op's question and if she or anyone else get any use out of it, great. If not, it disappears into the Internet history.

Oh look, someone who doesn't have irregular cycles, doesn't have a clue what they're talking about and is giving completely useless advice!

Given that I explained in my previous post that I got pregnant pretty much every cycle I tried but kept having early miscarriages, your comments are extremely offensive.

In my first response to you I explained why it is both insensitive and unhelpful to tell women who are trying to get pregnant to just relax and not track their cycles, and to suggest that "stress" is the reason it hasn't happened for them. A lot of people "thanked" me for that post.

But no, you just keep doubling down, don't you?

In my experience GPs don't actually know a lot about fertility. That's why they're GPs and not gynaecologists.

@MargotBamborough you take great offence at anyone who dare suggest that OPKs and temping are not the way forward.

FACT: OPKs and temping CAN be a load of crap and heighten stress and the likely of anovulation.

You’ve just stated above that you think GPs don’t know a lot… I’ve already linked you to ClearBlue who make the damn things and they stated exactly what myself and previous posters have said.. but I guess they (and all of us) must be wrong too?

Just as @DuchessOfTudorland said - your opinion is not universally fact.

You know what they say..

Never play chess with a pigeon.
The pigeon just knocks all the pieces over.
Then shits all over the board.
Then struts around like it won

You, my dear, are that pigeon.

I think we're going to need to see some links to your evidence that using ovulation tests can increase the likelihood of anovulation.

Jesus wept, I've seldom read such nonsense on here.

Ovulation tests > increased stress > anovulation

^^ I mean myself and other PPs couldn’t have made this clearer to you

Also it’s not ‘we’re going to need to see’ .. it’s just you in this obstinate position sweetie.

Jesus did indeed weep…

Once your periods are regular, at 39 they recommend trying for at least 6 months, if nothing happens have your fertility checked. I had my baby at 43-44.

Victoria Coren has just had her second at 51. Do it.

Had my first at 39 (then at 40, 43 and 46!) Good luck

No, I asked for actual evidence that using ovulation tests can lead to increased stress which can lead to anovulation.

Evidence.

Did I not ask the question clearly enough?

The kind of stress that can lead to anovulation is more on the scale of major bereavement than peeing on a damn stick.

And to think you've been accusing me of snowflakery.

For women with a condition (eg pof, pcos) low level stress can and does impact ovulation.

If you have PCOS then knowing when you do ovulate is even more useful.

I'm yet to see any concrete links between peeing on ovulation sticks and experiencing such extreme stress that you stop ovulating.

Women with pcos who haven’t realised they can’t use OPKs will be using them for years (I used them for 3 before I realised there isn’t an OPK in the world that works for women with pcos). That much low level stress absolutely did impact ovulation (due to cysts I felt it and during this time I didn’t).

I didn’t accuse you of being a snowflake 🤔…

I accused you of being stupid

You did seem to be suggesting that it is snowflakey to object to shitty "just relax" advice on the grounds that a woman who is already stressed about infertility is likely to become even more stressed upon being told - erroneously - to relax because stress causes infertility.

And then in the next breath you suggested that using ovulation tests is so stressful that it can cause you not to ovulate due to all the stress, which isn't snowflakey at all.

Being accused of stupidity by someone who responds to a thread asking how to get pregnant with "just relax" is a bit like being accused of stupidity by a pigeon.

I had none a month before my 40th. Planning my second now at 43. To be honest I was glad to have her at this age. She wasn't planned but very happy to have her. Looking forward to another.

"Mine", Not "none"

I'm not denying that PCOS comes with extra challenges. You can still track your cycle with PCOS and I know women who do, using cheapies every other day and temping to confirm ovulation. But I can see how only ovulating rarely would increase the overall stress of TTC.

I don't think you have left it too late at all!
Ignore the bickering on your thread OP I think posters have got carried away. There isn't a right or wrong as everyone's different. Some people feel stress by doing things like OPKs but some people don't. For myself I preferred the tracking approach because I found it more stressful and pressure to keep having lots of sex. Just do what feels right for you and your partner. If it doesn't happen in a while then you can get initial tests but remember most doctors go straight to testing the woman but actually a semen analysis is a quick and easy test and should be one of the first ones done before the more invasive tests in the female. Wishing you lots of luck you get a BFP soon.