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Original poster

Too late to have first child?

174 replies

ImWally6 · 29/10/2023 17:48

Im 38, 39 in Feb.

Started trying for a baby the middle of August (periods still not synced after removal of coil, had one real period.)

Not pregnant yet (weekly tests) and I'm now panicking that I have left it too late to have our first baby (only want one baby)

Have I?

OP posts:
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Original poster
ImWally6 · 29/10/2023 18:59

Thanks for all the wonderful advice.

I've only had one period so I can't track it as I should have had a period about 2 weeks ago. I do the testing weekly as I'm not getting my period.

Flo hasn't got much data from me to help yet. I've only just started taking the vitamins.

OP posts:
SharonEllis · 29/10/2023 19:02

Not necessarily. Loads of people (me, my mum) have babies at that age & older. Good luck.

Batbatbatty · 29/10/2023 19:03

@ImWally6 head over to the Conception board for a wealth of info and tips

Ihaveawonderfulpartner · 29/10/2023 19:07

I had my first full term pregnancy at 40 and again at 45. No planning and I have pcos. Both pregnancies were fabulous and delivery of both babies was a joy. They have grown up to be happy and healthy young boys. My advice is as another poster said, sex. Lots of sex. Enjoy yourself. And if it happens it happens and if it doesn't you had fun trying.

momonpurpose · 29/10/2023 19:08

Not at all!

eatdrinkandbemerry · 29/10/2023 19:12

I had a surprise pregnancy at 41 and that was after suffering years of secondary infertility and being told I had more chance of winning the lottery!
Relax because plenty of ladies have babies much later in life

WYorkshireRose · 29/10/2023 19:22

It's not unheard of for peri-menopause to start for some women as young as 35. So you know when your own mum went through menopause, as that may give you some indication.

Silverfoxcub · 29/10/2023 19:27

whatamess100 · 29/10/2023 17:51

Not at all!!! Loads of ppl i know are 40-43 all having first children!

Probably not a 1st child without medical intervention though

PinkRoses1245 · 29/10/2023 19:27

DuploTrain · 29/10/2023 18:35

I recommend the Premom app and ovulation tests. And spend some time on the conception topic to get your head around it.

Weekly testing suggests to me that you don’t know when you ovulated (or even if you have ovulated?). That’s the first thing to work out/ predict so you know when you need be having sex.

I know it sounds very forced and unspontaneous, but at your age I’d start seriously now instead of spending 6 months causally trying first and then being more targeted.

Another recommendation for pre mom app and ovulation tests. Got pregnant the first month using them

Tryingtoconceivenumber2 · 29/10/2023 19:28

I would recommend trying Sperm Meets Egg Plan (goggle it). I got pregnant at 36 using this, 3rd month of trying but first month trying that, I am now 36 weeks pregnant. Also similar success for friends with this all over 35.

Like others have said so many more people are having children in their later 30s these days. It took me as long to get pregnant this time as it did at 32. Good luck!

rockinginarockingchair · 29/10/2023 19:34

Not to late at all my sister had her second child at 40 hes 3 now.
her eldest is 19.

Wednesdaysotherchild · 29/10/2023 19:36

37 was too late for me but you might be ok. But get cracking, start now!

MumblesParty · 29/10/2023 19:41

If you are happy to let nature takes its course, then carry on having lots of sex and tracking ovulation etc.

If having a baby is a significant priority for you, and you have the money, I would go to a private fertility clinic to get some tests done . It would give you an idea of how likely you are to conceive naturally, and help you decide when to go down the assisted conception route.
Has your partner fathered children before?

Totalwasteofpaper · 29/10/2023 19:44

Nope.

My (not needed) fertility Dr told me pretty much everyone can have a baby if they are open to all medical intervention/treatments.

I was mildly hysterical I was infertile at 38 after 3 months of trying so went along see a very well regarded Dr. I had a very through initial consult but she couldn't complete basic fertility testing as I was already pregnant with dc1 🤦🏻‍♀️😵‍💫😂

I then got pregnant first try at 39.5 with DC2 and will have the baby just after I turn 40...

i am very much average/below average in terms of age in my office... But I work in tech

TUCKINGFYP0 · 29/10/2023 19:48

Silverfoxcub · 29/10/2023 19:27

Probably not a 1st child without medical intervention though

Show quote history

If they have been trying for 10 years without success, then no of course it’s unlikely without intervention . But that’s also true if they are 30-33.

Lots of women don’t start trying until that age because they had not met the right person or didn’t want another child. Lots of them will fall pregnant without any help at all.

clarebear111 · 29/10/2023 19:53

If you haven’t already, I would suggest going for a fertility check up at a private clinic. They will do a blood test and scan to assess things like your Amh levels, and can do a sperm test for your DP. Knowledge is power, as they say, and it will help you to understand your position more holistically.

There’s other great advice here about ovulation tests and temperatures etc. Wishing you the best of luck, OP. I was told it only takes the one egg, and found that quite a comforting thing.

Ohhmydays · 29/10/2023 19:55

I just wanted to say good luck to you op. But also try not to take pregnancy test before you think your period is due as you can be setting yourself up for heartache if u do get a period. Its a very common thing its called a chemical pregnancy where the egg fertilises but doesn’t attach thats why always get told to wait till after your missed period.

Matildahoney · 29/10/2023 20:09

I'm 30 weeks pregnant with my first, I'm 40, will be 41 when I give birth. Took us 15 months to conceive including a miscarriage. No medical intervention other than a fertility test 6 months after the miscarriage as I hadn't fallen pregnant again, the fertility consultant couldn't understand why due to our results there was any reason for that, I ended up falling that month. Good luck OP.

Cress42 · 29/10/2023 20:47

TentChristmas · 29/10/2023 17:54

No, but do your daily temperatures, track your cycle and use OPK sticks. If you have the funds you can pay for an initial appointment with an IVF clinic to have basic tests done for you both, so you know if there’s a problem you can get started early with help.

I would advise against doing all of this. Often the time you just stop stressing about ovulation, temps etc is the time you get pregnant m.

just relax and enjoy the baby making journey. The stress of tracking can affect your chances

2mummies1baby · 29/10/2023 20:49

Not too late at all, but I'd recommend getting your head around the idea that you may need IVF. It's totally worth it. Good luck OP x

Bubbleshoespop · 29/10/2023 20:50

Not too late, I got pregnant with my DS at 39, 40 when he was born. It did take 2 years to get pregnant though, so be prepared that it might not be quick

meganorks · 29/10/2023 20:51

No, not too late. But i seriously think you should knock off the weekly tests. You are only adding more, unnecessary stress to the situation

PaperSheet · 29/10/2023 20:56

Sadly there's just no way to know if it's too late until it either happens or it doesn't. I started trying at 39. I'm 42 now and nothing. In those 3 years I've had one MMC and 2 rounds of IVF that failed. I've pretty much accepted it won't happen now.
I've tracked ovulation every month with sticks and temps. Read all the books. Done sperm meets egg. Changed diet and lifestyle. Taken all the vitamins. I have no idea if I'd have tried earlier if it would have worked. All I know is that at 39 it was likely too late for me. Many others are luckier though.

IVFbeenverylucky · 29/10/2023 20:57

I had mine at 38, 40 and 41 (one month old). Thinking of having a fourth. Of course you are not too old. Don't be silly!

HappyDaze23 · 29/10/2023 20:58

I conceived naturally in my 40s very easily, and had a textbook pregnancy and a perfect healthy baby boy. I’d experienced unexplained fertility in my 30s, so had my DD at 38 and DS at 41. I would recommend a good vitamin supplement, acupuncture from a fertility specialists and ovulation testing with clear blue. Good luck!