Tradesman Asked Me Out

[Creepy23]

I bought my first home recently and hired a company to complete part of the work I couldn't do myself. Met the sales manager very briefly twice to select the product.

He asked for my spare keys on the Friday so they could start early on Monday while I was at work. OK - gave them. Once he called to say the work was complete mid-day on Tuesday, I asked him to put the keys through my letter box before they left.

Instead he said he 'didn't know where he'd be that day' and asked to go to my work. I didn't respond. The next day he put the keys through my door. I made the full payment remotely and confirmed with a screenshot.

On Thursday morning, I received the following text out of the blue. I honestly found it shocking since I'd shown zero romantic interest in him, we'd only discussed the work and he appeared to be significantly older. Also pretty creepy that he had my keys and had hung onto them so he'd have an excuse to see me again.

I just didn't respond, blocked the number and changed my privacy settings. I've decided to do the other work in the house myself.

YABU - It's fine for men to ask you out once the job is complete
YANBU - It's creepy because he had your keys for days, knows where you live and lacks boundaries.

He should have put my keys through my door on the day I requested. Holding onto them was manipulative.

I paid him to do a job. That was it.

If I wanted a date, I'd be on a dating site. Or meet someone on a night out.

Exactly.

I understand why you don't like it, on similar occasions I've thought 'I didn't invite you here for that'. A polite 'no thanks' has always been the end of it though so I wouldn't think the worst.

But that’s why he asked you (politely). He doesn’t know where you would prefer to meet potential dates.

100% change your locks OP, and I'd also message back that you're married. YANBU to feel uncomfortable at all.

Sorry but Yabu. His message was polite and straightforward. He didn’t necessarily hang onto your keys for any other reason than being out and about on other jobs- where does he say it was to see you again?
Just a thanks but I’m not dating at the moment/ not interested etc would suffice.

Message was innocent enough really. As long as he takes no for an answer, if that's what you think, no harm done.

Although, if he's an employee he might be breaching his company's rules. My employer would take a dim view if I were to ask a client out.

I can't believe people are excusing his behaviour. Totally unprofessional and creepy.

Just imagine the difference there would be in reactions if the OP had found the man attractive too, and wanted to accept the invitation. It would be all romantic then, wouldn't it?

It's none of his business.

If you had found him attractive would you still think he was out of order asking you out?

Of course not!!

The keys could have been left the day the job was finished. Of course he held onto them deliberately. 🙄

Ok. Strange reply. If you want to report him then report him to his company.

You seem convinced he is creepy so do something about it then.

It was not on.

I was a lone parent and had a take away delivery guy try to keep me chatting at the door, telling me he could take me out locally and could he keep my number etc.

All I'd done was order some food online, and open the door to receive it. I wasn't asking for a date. He was mega creepy. I felt utterly blindsided and unsure of how to let him down because I'd just fled an abusive situation where a simple no thanks could leave me hurt.

I think his message is polite and fine. Say no thank you if you don't want to go for coffee.

YANBU to no want to go out with him.
YABU to be too worried about this as people have to meet people somewhere and it’s usually at work.

I would actually. Now I recognise the red flags of manipulation and stalking behaviour, I 100% would find anyone hanging onto the keys to suit their own agenda and wanting to know where I work creepy.

Yeah, it’s creepy because of the way he went about it, holding on to your keys. That would freak me out and I’d definitely be getting the locks changed.

His text was a bit weird too - not the coffee invitation, the way it was phrased. It made me shudder. There was something calculated about it, like he was trying really hard not to sound creepy but failing. “I found you very nice” 🤢 Like you were a meal or something.

I wouldn’t have blocked him. I’d have put a stop to it by saying I was in a relationship or whatever. I had one tradesman try this on quite persistently and only the mention of a (non-existent) partner stopped him. That message gets through.

Absolutely. You're being super sensitive. Just say no & move on.

No he didn’t. He didn’t use them for any bad purpose.

I’m a tradesman and I own the company and sometimes I’ve got 4-5 customers keys on my key ring. I forget who is who sometimes so they might not go back on time.

What do you think he was going to do with them, bust in at midnight?

This is absurd, he didn’t. He politely asked OP out, and thank god he dodged a bullet.

Good grief,how difficult is it to politely decline a date. If we are to assume every bloke that asks someone out is a predator, no one would ever meet a partner.

Could tell you were a man before you outed yourself.

Me too.

The thing is, if the OP had fancied the tradesmen, she'd probably post of MN asking how to approach him or whether to wait until he approached her. Double standards according to whether the woman fancies the man or not. If she fancies him, anything goes, but if she doesn't he's a "creep" even if he does nothing wrong!