Tradesman Asked Me Out

[Creepy23]

I bought my first home recently and hired a company to complete part of the work I couldn't do myself. Met the sales manager very briefly twice to select the product.

He asked for my spare keys on the Friday so they could start early on Monday while I was at work. OK - gave them. Once he called to say the work was complete mid-day on Tuesday, I asked him to put the keys through my letter box before they left.

Instead he said he 'didn't know where he'd be that day' and asked to go to my work. I didn't respond. The next day he put the keys through my door. I made the full payment remotely and confirmed with a screenshot.

On Thursday morning, I received the following text out of the blue. I honestly found it shocking since I'd shown zero romantic interest in him, we'd only discussed the work and he appeared to be significantly older. Also pretty creepy that he had my keys and had hung onto them so he'd have an excuse to see me again.

I just didn't respond, blocked the number and changed my privacy settings. I've decided to do the other work in the house myself.

YABU - It's fine for men to ask you out once the job is complete
YANBU - It's creepy because he had your keys for days, knows where you live and lacks boundaries.

I don't know if this guy has a record of abuse or anything. He's not exactly in a profession that involves that sort of background check.

It was opportunistic on his part.

It's just a bloke asking you for coffee!

Change the locks.

If anyone who wasn't my family or friends had access to my keys, I'd always change the locks regardless of whether they'd asked me out or not.

Go with your gut OP, read The Gift Of Fear (free copies online if you Google it), change your locks if it makes you feel better and/or get a dog and a dead bolt!

He made you feel uncomfortable. That’s not ok.

It’s good to have boundaries. I don’t hand over my house keys or let have workmen have unsupervised to my house. It can mean rearranging dates and working from home but it makes me feel more comfortable. I also do what my mother always did. I keep the dog shut away and when they hear it going ballistic I say it’s securely shut away and can’t get out. I never say, oh, they’re actually a big softie.

Well I hope you're pleased to have lost someone their livelihood.

Yes, he shouldn't have done it, but most of us would just have said no and let it go.

You're lucky you got no come-back on it, which could very well have happened.

I'd suggest you get your locks changed. Not specifically because of this tradesmen, but because you've recently bought the house and don't know how many copies of the keys are out there with neighbours, other tradesmen, previous occupiers (and partners), etc etc. Changing the locks when you move is pretty sensible/normal really.

I don’t even know why you bothered posting. You just want people to tell you it’s creepy and a “GPDR breach”

He thought you were nice and politely asked you out. That’s all.

Perhaps I'm not desperate. I do get asked out by other men pretty often. This is different.

You know where to find him and who he is though!!

You do realise that a man asking a woman for a date is very often "opportunistic" as you describe it?

How many of them had your address, keys to your house, bank details, phone number and email address?

I get asked out by men regularly. I can say no. This is different.

Well maybe this guy just found you attractive like all the other men who ask you out pretty often?

This thread shows just how much womens boundaries have been worn away. If he wanted to ask you out he should have found another way, not gone against all gdpr rules.

As an aside I wouldnt have handed over my keys, or at the very least I would change my locks asap once the work was completed

He pissed away his own livelihood. If your job gives you access to women’s homes how about just doing your job and not using it as an opportunity to get laid. Lots of women might have let it go and that’s why so many creepy men get away with it.

He clearly wanted to ask you face to face, but couldn't, so he's asked you very nicely via text. It's really not a big deal. I'd politely decline and move on.

Hmm… I would feel vulnerable and the need to change the locks. Very inappropriate.

It's not different. You can say no.

Change the locks if you're that bothered by him.

Ok, I'm wasting my time here.

YANBU and please change your locks ASAP

Well he should be using your number like that, and if works for a company perhaps they should know. Yes it’s a request for coffee but you can clearly see how unsettling it’s made OP which is exactly why customers details shouldn’t be used like this

Asking someone out doesn't make a man "creepy" ffs.

You are, because you are totally over-reacting.

If your job gives you access to women’s homes and you use that access to come on to them, you’re a creep.

The guy is a fucking creep and it astounds me that anyone on here thinks this is ok. He deliberately held onto your keys in hopes to see you again, and asked to meet you at your work to hand them over.

I'd certainly recommend changing the locks.

It's possible this older man who meets a dozen women every week, and knows which of them live alone, and has a sniff round their homes, has never approached any of them before.

But I'd guess he has.