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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to run for the hills from this guy

289 replies

Amysunsure · 29/10/2023 00:26

This year will be my first Christmas with DP, who I’ve been seeing for about 10 months. Everything has been going great, we get on amazing, met each other’s families, and have been on holiday together not long ago. We even talked recently about moving together in around a years time if things carry on going well. My colleagues have been saying how much happier I’ve looked this year and I know it’s all because of him.

except this past few days I have felt things might be about to crash down around me, and I honestly do not know what to do and I’m here for some advice.. I feel so upset, but don’t know if I’m overreacting,

DP and me are both huge fans of Christmas, and earlier in the week we were at his place, listening to Christmas songs (lol yes I know, in October) , talking about our favourites songs,
he was playing me a playlist he had put together.

I was horrified when the Gary Glitter song “another rock ‘n’ roll Christmas” started playing. As a child of the 80s, this one would always come on around Christmas time, but obviously very abruptly stopped when things were revealed about him.

I told DP to turn it off, and he asked why??! I said I’m not listening to any music by him, do you not realise what he did??

DP reply by saying “yes, I know, I feel very guilty saying this, but it is a good song isn’t it!! I don’t see why I should stop listening to the song!“

I literally stopped in my tracks and said to him, what do you think of what GG did? He said “well he’s disgusting, obviously, but it doesn’t change the fact it’s a good tune.”

so I have gone from feeling on top of the world and feeling like I had met the person I saw a future, to I don’t know if I can carry on being with him! All in the space of a couple days!

am I crazy to think of ending things with him over this?

Please be kind, I’m upset!

OP posts:
BebbanburgIsMine · 29/10/2023 21:14

@SurprisedWithAHorse

Thankyou and fair enough!

Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 29/10/2023 21:14

Op not replied- shocker 🙄

StrawberryWater · 29/10/2023 21:20

GreigeO · 29/10/2023 12:55

It’s weird how Bowie seems to get a free pass

Mick Jagger too.

TheFireflies · 29/10/2023 21:21

Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 29/10/2023 21:14

Op not replied- shocker 🙄

I could run something through ChatGPT if it would help?

StrawberryWater · 29/10/2023 21:23

I’m not a fan of GG’s music but I would have less qualms about listening to his music then I would say Lost Prophets as GG doesn’t own the master rights to his songs any more so doesn’t get royalties where as IW still makes money in prison.

Totalwasteofpaper · 29/10/2023 21:37

WiIIow · 29/10/2023 00:30

Yeah that would be crazy. It's just a song.

Yep...this.

DistrictAndCircle · 29/10/2023 21:41

If I was your OH I’d seriously consider running for the hills myself in this scenario.

LilQueenie · 29/10/2023 22:09

yabu. its not ideal but its his opinion and its not supporting GG in anyway or form.

PelvicFloorClenchReminder · 29/10/2023 22:17

EC also admitted raping and beating the crap out of Patti Boyd.

YokoOnosBigHat · 29/10/2023 22:30

Separating the art from the artist is a thing and something that we have to do for a lot of people. Unfortunately quite a few brilliant artists were abusive or worse. I wouldn't leave a good relationship over this, especially as your partner agreed that GG is a bad person who did terrible things... it's not like he was defending his actions

belinda72 · 29/10/2023 22:32

This is crazy, it's a song 🤣

Trixiefirecracker · 29/10/2023 22:51

StrawberryWater · 29/10/2023 21:20

Mick Jagger too.

Show quote history

And Steve Tyler.
Loads of them.
I personally wouldn’t listen to any GG tune as I think they are crap. Would find it hard to listen to Michael Jackson now as he was definitely up to some seriously nasty stuff.

Riola · 29/10/2023 22:58

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 29/10/2023 07:59

It has. If you look carefully both accusations were all about getting money, nothing else.

Show quote history

Exactly. Most people I know believe this and they’d say this is why they listen to his music. No idea if they’d listen to him otherwise, possibly but who knows. But fact is many people who listen to him genuinely don’t believe he’s guilty, so for them it’s obviously not the same as GG.

So it’s a poor comparison no matter whether you think OP is BU or not.

And for the person who compared him with Saville because he too was never convicted, surely a major difference is MJ was tried in a court of law and wasn’t found guilty? Saville didn’t reach court from what I understand.

Trixiefirecracker · 29/10/2023 23:13

Riola · 29/10/2023 22:58

Exactly. Most people I know believe this and they’d say this is why they listen to his music. No idea if they’d listen to him otherwise, possibly but who knows. But fact is many people who listen to him genuinely don’t believe he’s guilty, so for them it’s obviously not the same as GG.

So it’s a poor comparison no matter whether you think OP is BU or not.

And for the person who compared him with Saville because he too was never convicted, surely a major difference is MJ was tried in a court of law and wasn’t found guilty? Saville didn’t reach court from what I understand.

Edited
Show quote history

I mean even his sister said Michael was a child molester a long time ago. So much evidence and so easily squashed if you have enough money to throw at it. 😩

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 29/10/2023 23:47

PelvicFloorClenchReminder · 29/10/2023 22:17

EC also admitted raping and beating the crap out of Patti Boyd.

https://nypost.com/1999/06/27/eric-clapton-i-beat-my-wife

😢😢😢😢😢 I did not know that and can never listen to him again now.

ERIC CLAPTON: I BEAT MY WIFE

Rock superstar Eric Clapton has admitted for the first time that he was so addicted to drugs and alcohol that he beat his first wife, Patti Boyd. The Grammy-award winning guitarist tells London&#82…

https://nypost.com/1999/06/27/eric-clapton-i-beat-my-wife

DumpedByText · 30/10/2023 01:16

So you'd end an otherwise really good relationship over one song. In the nicest way possible get a grip! 🙄

Greywhippet · 30/10/2023 06:40

Eric Clapton also said he agreed with Enoch Powell and made the racist comments that led to the founding of Rock against Racism. Nasty all round.
still would turn up Layla if it came on in the car though

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 30/10/2023 12:28

Trixiefirecracker · 29/10/2023 23:13

I mean even his sister said Michael was a child molester a long time ago. So much evidence and so easily squashed if you have enough money to throw at it. 😩

Show quote history

There is an explanation for that. She was in an abusive marriage and controlled by her husband who was also her manager. She didn't want to pose for playboy for example, but he beat her until she agreed. Lots of things she said and did were due to him, not her.

maddening · 30/10/2023 14:21

BebbanburgIsMine · 29/10/2023 20:21

@SurprisedWithAHorse

I've never liked Roald Dahl, neither did my DC.

I wouldn't be buying or reading his books knowing that about him.

Your decision and that's fine, it is not fine to prevent others from doing so imo, censorship and history scrubbing

Trixiefirecracker · 30/10/2023 17:23

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 30/10/2023 12:28

There is an explanation for that. She was in an abusive marriage and controlled by her husband who was also her manager. She didn't want to pose for playboy for example, but he beat her until she agreed. Lots of things she said and did were due to him, not her.

Show quote history

I’m sorry you are in denial about it but pretty obvious he was up to a lot of shady things. Having sleepovers with minors and locks and alarms all over the place. The documentary made my skin crawl. Not normal behaviour and no one would say it was unless they were completely idolising some celebrity who has unfortunately achieved this godlike status so therefore is untouchable.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 30/10/2023 17:28

Trixiefirecracker · 30/10/2023 17:23

I’m sorry you are in denial about it but pretty obvious he was up to a lot of shady things. Having sleepovers with minors and locks and alarms all over the place. The documentary made my skin crawl. Not normal behaviour and no one would say it was unless they were completely idolising some celebrity who has unfortunately achieved this godlike status so therefore is untouchable.

Show quote history

Not in denial at all. I looked into this in very great detail and came to a conclusion based on that research.

Dillydollydingdong · 30/10/2023 18:10

Just listen to the words of some songs, very unpleasant. Eg Brown Sugar? And all the pop stars , performers etc whose morals were less than we would expect - didn't Bill Wyman marry a 13 year old girl? You can disapprove but surely you can't stop listening to everyone who you disapprove of?

WhitewitchYorkshire · 30/10/2023 18:12

I really get your dilemma, I feel the same about Michael Jackson. There are interesting debates online about whether we should listen to such music or look at certain artists work, I believe Turner (the painter) didn’t have a great track record. I think it’s early in your relationship and you’re at a point where you’re scrutinising every thing, especially now you’re moving into a more committed phase, is there anything else about this guy you’re not sure about and just not admitting it? I think everyone is entitled to their opinion and this doesn’t make him a paedophile. This isn’t a deal breaker, maybe just talk about how you feel to him..don’t throw him under the bus!

Nononsensemumsy · 30/10/2023 18:57

YABU

TrixieMixie · 30/10/2023 19:09

How does he feel about Wagner? Or Voltaire, who abandoned his children to an orphanage but he’s still an influential philosopher. Or Gaugin, whose relationships with young Tahitian girls were questionable? Glitter obviously vile but if we insist all artists, writers, etc are paragons we’d have to cancel quite a lot.

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