My partner is abusive. I don't know how to get out

[Everythingwillbeokeventually44]

Met him in January, he seemed lovely. Prior to meeting him I'd left an abusive marriage. I was rock bottom and trying so hard to rebuild myself and my life.

Started dating this guy in June, he wanted more than I did, I tried to end it and he said he'd kill himself if I ended it. Stupidly I panicked and went to him.

Between now and then when I've stayed at his and he's turned nasty I've wanted to leave he's literally blocked my way. Another time he told me to get the fuck out, he was throwing my belongings down the stairs when I tried to get them and go he grabbed a knife and slit his wrist, he took my phone so I couldn't call for help and basically forced me to watch him bleed until he passed out.

He's slashed all 4 tyres on my car before and kicked off my wing mirrors. He's driven at me in his car whilst I've been in my car.

He's bit my face leaving scars. It was a deep vicious bite. He has kicked me off my feet jarring my back and fracturing my elbow.

He manipulates everything always making himself out to be the victim and he truly believes he is. I'm not allowed to defend myself in anyway or answer back when he's ranting at me.

He's threatened to harm my family and said he'd pay someone to leave me in a wheelchair eating through a straw.

I was absolutely broken when I met him, I'm beyond that now. I feel so suicidal. I just can't find a way out. I am genuinely terrified of the bloke and what he is capable of.

He has been drinking tonight (I don't drink) he's again gone off on one, he's the victim and he's now said he's going to the train station to end his life.

I have never felt so low in all my life. I met me ex at 19 there was an age gap, over the years he hit me and left me unable to look at myself in the mirror because of cruel remarks being called all the names under the sun, I literally hated the sight of myself. I honestly thought I'd met a good one and wanted to take it slow which we were and I managed to open up to him, he helped me with my insecurities, I genuinely thought he cared and loved me.

I'm to scared to go to the police because I have no proof and I genuinely think he'll kill me if I do. I'm scared for my life.

Due to withdrawing I started missing work, making mistakes so to top it off I've also lost my job.

I just can't take anymore. I am so weak I've got no fight left in me.

The address is not the actual refuge it's who can point you in the right direction to help and housing etc if you can't ring or email them if he has your phone. I really hope you managed to get help op.

Been thinking about you op. Remember if you feel helpless atm it's only because he's literally knocked the hope out of you. This man is a danger. Hope you're ok as can be

Hi OP,
We're just bobbing on here to say that we're so sorry to hear you're going through this.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our Domestic violence page
Very best wishes from all at MNHQ

Tell him go ahead he'll be doing the world a favour then block him and call the police if he turns up at yours

I am safe, it has been an absolutely awful weekend. He's drank again most if today and then started with his threats, name calling and general nasty vile behaviour. I waited for him to fall asleep and I've ran.

I am back at my home but have hidden my car in one of the abandoned farm buildings down the road. I have curtains drawn so if he happens to turn up he won't know I'm here.

I have managed to find a temporary property, I collect the keys at 10am Wednesday morning.

I have blocked him on everything on my phone.

Thank you all so so much for the advice, reassurance and support. Honestly reading your replies is what's made me truly realise the danger I've been in. I do truly believe it was only a matter of time before he did seriously hurt me or even kill me.

I am really nervous about tomorrow morning when he wakes up and realises I've gone and he can't get hold of me. He'll be absolutely furious. I've picked up dome essentials for a 24 hour garage on my way back so I can keep a low profile.

Please talk to your family and go to them. They will help you and be witnesses if he turns up.

Please also speak to the police and let them know you are worried he might try and kill you. There are people who will help you out there and you are not alone.

Is there somewhere else you can go until Wednesday?
I am worried about you alone in an isolated area if he comes looking for you.
Can you go to your family or a shelter?
Somewhere there are others about.

Contact womens aid/ police now, you need to be safer.

Call the police and have him arrested while you have photos of your face and the evidence in plain sight. Don’t fall for his BS. Don’t feel sorry for him. He is a terrorist and he hates you. You are not nearly far enough away from him to be genuinely safe.

As others have said you need to contact the police now. Do you have a family member, friend? anyone 🤷🏻‍♀️who can be with you ? If not get to a shelter.

Not read through, but could he have a tracker in yr car? I think you are terribly vulnerable. Please go somewhere else.

Call the police and tell them what you’ve said on here. Say you have somewhere Wednesday morning but you need to get through the next three days.

I would reiterate that you’d be safer with friends or family. Can you stay with them Monday and Tuesday night until you get your keys on Wednesday?

Stay strong and stay safe. We’re rooting for you

I really hope you've managed some sleep...

Please PLEASE don't stay at your house... You're way too vulnerable there....

Surely the moment he awakes - that will be the first place he looks when he realises you've gone???

In domestic violence one of the most dangerous times is when you leave... You are much more likely to be harmed... Sadly the stats reinforce this.

As soon as you're awake... Please go to a police station - there will be a quick route to get you help...

Really really hope the new tenancy is away from the locality??

Also do tell any agency to keep your details confidential - if he starts ringing around agencies with some cock n bull story.

I’m so glad you are out but please call the police about him and say you don’t feel safe until Wednesday , that your house is in the middle of nowhere and you are afraid he will kill you. Say that explicitly. If he turns up phone the police immediately. Is there really no one else you can stay with for 2 days?

@Everythingwillbeokeventually44

I'm concerned about your safety in an isolated area where you can't get mobile signal!

I think you need to get clothes and get out. Now.

Your location leaves you vulnerable.

If he has an iPhone or ipad, he could have easily planted an apple air thing in your car, bag, or similar.

Check your phone hasn't had location services turned on, as he can track you that way.

Please just get some clothes and go to the police.

Agree please call the police, explain about the isolated area and ask for help. Well done getting out, you need the police to protect you from this guy, don’t be afraid to contact them. Will a call go through to 999 without signal, is there another way of getting urgent home. Please ask a friend / family to dial for you if needed. Take care

Make sure you have Location turned off on your phone. Go somewhere else. Your house is probably the first place he’ll look for you.

Contact the police and your parents. He probably has a police record.

Please report him to the police and tell them that you fear for your life from this man.

Echoing what others have said here. Please drive to a police station as soon as you can. Show them this chat. They will have a specialist DV team who can support you and help keep you safe. You will be believed with or without photo evidence.

Here is a number for new era which provides support for victims of DA in your area 0300 303 3778 . I think the police need to be your first port of call.

You have been really brave. Keep moving forward through the fear to safety. I don’t think that’s your house, currently. We are all cheering you on.

OP I'm so proud of you for making your escape! However, as others have said, men like this are EXTREMELY crafty, and he probably does have some way of tracking you, which means that you are even more vulnerable at a house where there is no phone signal - I know, I live in one!! You may have hidden your car, but if he's that desperate to find you, he WILL search everywhere around your property.

Go back to your car, check that he's not hidden in the back before you get in, and then assuming he's not, get in, and

GO TO A POLICE STATION - THEY WILL PROTECT YOU AND HELP YOU.