DIL left nasty drunk messages on my phone.

[zarasmyworld]

I woke up on Sunday morning to a voicemail from my son's wife saying I was manipulative and a narcissist and my husband was a mug for putting up with me, that I'm a terrible mother and grandma and lots of other upsetting things.
I have been very upset understandably about this and have asked DIL to explain but she says she doesn't remember saying it and didn't mean it.

Ds says as she was drunk and as she doesn't remember to just forget about it.
I haven't even had an apology in nearly a week and Ds doesn't even seem bothered that she's been so unkind.
AIBU to think I'm owed some sort of apology or explanation and ds shouldn't let her speak to me like this?
I shouldn't be expected to just carry on as if it didn't happen should I?
I have told DS how hurt I am but still no apology.

It's time to reflect upon why the actual content of the messages is so uncontroversial.

If someone thinks you are a narcissist, and you have absolutely zero awareness of why someone might think that, and nobody is correcting them, you might actually be one.

Not saying that's the case. Could be something else.

Drunk people are honest people. Unfair or not, I suspect this is exactly how she feels

OP is getting quite a bit of stick ddil might be a thoroughly obnoxious and toxic lady!

Could you ask her to meet for coffee / lunch to talk about it and clear the air as you would like to know if you have done something wrong and clear the air
I personally think she owes you an explanation for this as you seem to be unaware that you have done something wrong,

Drunk people are honest 😂

Ask someone who’s been married to an alcoholic how true that statement is.