DP says I'm selfish for having DD's birthday cake gluten free

[IntergalacticP]

Basically thread title.

DD turns one at the start of December. I've arranged for a local baker to make a cake for her. I asked for it to be gluten free as I have celiac disease.

DP said this was selfish. His reasoning being that gluten free cakes aren't as nice as normal cakes. He can't seem to come up with any other reason.

I just wanted to eat some of DDs first birthday cake.

I make rocking gluten free cakes. People can't tell. Supermarket ones can be pretty crap, but making a good one isn't rocket science.

I would have a bought a big jam sandwich cake for a old year old's party and a smaller gf cake for myself and the other gf guest. I'm with your DH.

I agree.

@Thedm Gluten free self raising flour isn't any more processed than bog standard self raising flour.
The below is taken from the Dove's Farm website:

All refined white and brown flours (organic and non-organic) milled from wheat in the United Kingdom must have the so-called statutory ingredients of calcium, iron, thiamine and niacin added. There is no requirement by law to fortify 100% wholemeal flour, whole grain wheat flour, gluten free flour or any other non-wheat flour with the aforementioned statutory ingredients.

I you make a cake using GF flour at home it is no more "processed" than one using normal flour.

DD has coeliac. Since her diagnosis we have all eaten so much less processed food. If you are looking for a future cake we had a fantastic piñata cake from a company called Sponge. It was yummy and good fun.

Some food may not be as nice but sometimes it’s in the head. I once put mini eggs out in bowls for DDs friends. Two of them immediately told me that they didn’t like gluten free mini eggs. They were normal mini eggs which happen to be gf.

Unless it's a polenta cake, gluten free cakes are grim. If it's just the two of you, at least get him a small cake that he'll enjoy.

Gluten free cakes are just as nice. Test it out in him, get a couple of cupcakes gluten free and with gluten, let’s see if he really can tell

hes a twat. So he wants to eat the cake, knowing you can’t

MiL made my birthday cake GF because she is coeliac and I will admit my heart sank and I didn't like having to pretend it was nice when it really wasn't! I've had good GF cakes, but not Victoria sponge. If I'm making a family cake I get her a separate individual one. I would never tell her how much I dislike GF ones, but they are not the same. I would do the multi cake option, or get the baker to do cupcakes some GF some not.

I’m pretty sure he could go and purchase any cake he wishes. Since you can’t eat cake with gluten in and you were charged with ordering it, then it’s only logical on your child’s first birthday, you would want to be included. He can eat it, he just doesn’t think he’ll like it. This isn’t even a discussion. Tell him to put one foot in front of the other and organise his own cake so he doesn’t need to continue his tantrum further 🙄

Utter nonsense.

Another one baffled by the “GF cakes are all gross” crowd. Where are you all getting your cakes from????!!!! What exactly is so gross about them????

Homemade GF sponge cake. Honestly defy you to tell the difference between a GF and non-GF one of it’s made properly. My Mum is GF and all the cakes I make for her are made with GF flour etc and there’s honestly no difference if you get the recipe right.

TBF a lot of GF shop bought “long life” GF stuff is, indeed, gross fake stuff. But the cakes you buy are pretty OK . Maybe a bit drier sometimes but hardly any more gross than most shop bought cake is

As for GF being ultra processed. Purlease. No more so than any other shop bought ready made stuff.

I think gluten free cakes can be delicious, (especially chocolate) and your baby is one, she won't care at all. Get a few matching cupcakes for people (eg your husband) who feel they are missing out.

Have you spoken to anyone who knows about gf cakes, or just people like the OP's OH spouting his ignorance?
I bake both gf and gluten-containing cakes and would challenge anyone to say the gf ones are not as good as the others these days as alternative flours are so good.
Also, many cakes such as those made with ground almonds are naturally gf.
I think you've done exactly the right thing OP and hope you have a wonderful day!

When I had to go gluten free my husband offered to eat the same to make life easier for me. Why are you with this prick?

I've eaten a fair few gluten free cakes as a baker friend doesn't eat gluten and they are great. Your dh is being an arse.

My husbands birthday cake many years is a gluten free passover recipe chocolate torte he loves. (its way too rich for my taste but its his birthday)

No, you just haven't eaten a nice gluten free cake.

Rich chocolate torte made with ground almonds
Lemon drizzle cake made with ground almonds and GF flour
Flourless chocolate souffle cake

Some people seem to be incapable of thinking outside of the box.

I'm certain that people aren't reading properly and have concluded that OP is being awkward and precious and faddy for wanting a gluten free cake. She's coeliac. She has actual dietary needs. If the other guests cannot cope with gluten free cake for one afternoon in their lives then if they were my acquaintances, they'd never be visiting again.

He can get his own cake if he's that bothered. Why does op have to do it ?

As a coeliac the reading some of the replies to this thread is depressing, but unsurprising.

Ten years ago I might have agreed with you. But things have come so far with ingredients technology that I doubt many would notice the difference. I suspect these are the sort of people that still think a GF brownie is a thoughtful treat for a coeliac friend or family member.

A good decent baker can make a gluten free cake that's just as nice as a standard cake.
I do appreciate your DHs stance, especially if shop made cake is his only comparison but I think its reasonable for you to want to eat a cake that presumably costing you a fair bit of money and that your little one wouldn't know any different about anyway.
Maybe ask him to give the cake a fair chance and if it's genuinely not a nice cake, next year you'll buy a standard one.

I agree with your DH.

GF cakes are rank, you’re making everyone else suffer with you.

YANBU. My GF/DF cakes are delicious. And I was sceptical before making the first one but my sister and little niece have coeliac disease and my niece also has CMPA.

Store bought GF cakes can be a bit ick but then store bought non GF cakes are rank in my opinion.

A baker will likely have experience and I’m sure it will be lovely.

Sorry but I agree with him. Gluten cakes are pretty tasteless and if you’re having a party and the vast majority don’t have celiac disease then it’s a bit selfish. I like hosting and my priority is always guests, not myself. Why don’t you get the lady to make one for the party and you can make a gluten free one for you and the other guest.

My heart would sink if I was offered gluten free cake at a party.

Gluten-free cakes are OK-ish at best and inedible at worst. I have never tasted one that is as nice as a proper cake. I would get two cakes rather than inflict the disappointment of a gluten-free cake on everyone.

Vegan cake is fine, gluten-free cakes can be fine albeit different, it's gluten-free and egg-free cakes that can be dodgy.

Vegans shouldn't be judged for wanting to be able to eat their own wedding cake. It's up to you if you wanted to be a martyr, but don't put your principles onto the rest of us vegans.