DP says I'm selfish for having DD's birthday cake gluten free

[IntergalacticP]

Basically thread title.

DD turns one at the start of December. I've arranged for a local baker to make a cake for her. I asked for it to be gluten free as I have celiac disease.

DP said this was selfish. His reasoning being that gluten free cakes aren't as nice as normal cakes. He can't seem to come up with any other reason.

I just wanted to eat some of DDs first birthday cake.

I've never had a gf cake that wasn't claggy, heavy with an odd aftertaste. Maybe I've been unlikely but I have coeliac friends who bring delicious looking cake yet the taste, no, and the Sainsbury's one is similarly icky

Is it something specific about GF brownies that make them thoughtless @DogInATent ? I do buy my MiL something gluten free when she comes, should I not?

How narrow-minded, selfish and utterly wrong.

This thread has really brought out some ignorant reactions.

Does he always give zero shits about you?

Ha ha ha ha!
No pretending here. You've probably had cakes you didn't realise were gf because nobody told you and they're just as good as those with gluten. Many cafés, when I ask if they have any gf cakes, point out one or two of their home made produce which they haven't particularly advertised as gf, so as not to put off people like you

What???

I thought most foods were gluten free? The gluten is in wheat/rye etc., so most foods don't contain it, unless they have been processed somewhere along the way.

So fresh pork is GF, but sausages might not be, depending on what has been mixed with the pork. Is this not right?

So not sure what you mean by "proper food".

I tend to think gluten free cakes can be delicious if they aren't the sort that really needs gluten.

I.e. a dense fudgy chocolate cake, or a cake made with ground almonds or similar.

If they need gluten to maintain an effective structure they tend to be okay at best, but if you have a baker who is well versed in gluten free cookery I imagine it might be possible to produce something excellent.

What an absolute dickhead your DH is!

YABU. Most people do not enjoy gluten free cake. If I was you I would get a regular cake for your child and guests and then maybe a small gluten free cake for you and the other gluten free guest.

God forbid someone with an average diet be expected to have to make the compromise, for a change.

How selfish and narrow-minded can you be? People with dietary restrctions have to compromise, adapt, check, and be the one to eat the "other" food, every single time. And you'd resent being the one to eat something "different" just that one time, in their own house?

Tell him he's free to sort out her birthday cakes in the future, but until he does it off his own back you'll be getting GF cakes

Definately get the gluten free one, a baby’s first birthday celebration is as much about celebrating you getting through the first year of parenting. I also don’t understand all the complaints about gluten free cakes. I’m not much of a baker but my go to cake is a lemon and almond cake which is naturally gluten free and my favourite cake at a local cafe is their polenta one.

How is gluten-free more processed than cakes made with wheat flour? What a weird idea!
Yes, I'm sorry, @IntergalacticP, you are clearly not the selfish one here.

@IntergalacticP Just get him a bog standard cup cake to eat and enjoy the delicious GF one. He is utterly selfish as are all the posters on here defending his choice.

Enjoy your baby's first birthday :)

I eat GF. If it’s a ground almond cake it may be delicious. If it’s made with weird pretend flour then it may be grim.

Personally I would just do a normal cake and a smaller gluten free version for you

Did you really just try to compare being vegan to being gluten free those are not the same thing for a start being vegan is a choice and I can’t imagine having celiac disease is a choice anyone would willingly make.

There was a time when all the was available GF was a brownie. It got repetitive and became a bit of a joke with a few other coeliacs. It turns out there is a limit to the number of brownies that can be eaten out of politeness.

Even today if you go to somewhere like Costa the GF sweet snack option will either be a brownie or a Bakewell. And have you seen the size disparity between a GF and regular Bakewell in Costa? The GF one is the size of an Aspirin tablet whilst the regular one is bigger than the wheels on a Mini.

I mean some GF cakes tastes like they must come from hell - but some are ok. Maybe compromise and get two cakes? I bake GF cakes for my MIL and she likes them - my husband doesn’t mind them but would prefer a normal cake. I don’t mind GF cakes (not the ones I tried years ago tho, those were awful)

Excellent post. Thank you.

I'm staggered at the ignorance and bigoted prejudice on this thread TBH.

YABU

Your son and the majority of guests can eat gluten.

I would have got him a tastier, normal cake for him and the other people and then just a small cake for you and the other person to have.

If 1 or 2 of my guests are vegetarian and came to my child’s birthday BBQ.
I would have the majority meat and then have some vegetarian alternatives.
I wouldn’t make all of the guests eat just vegetarian stuff..

@PenguinRainbows demonstrating the intolerance, narrow-mindedness and judgement shown towards people who do not follow the diet habits of the majority.

Diets different from your own are not "selfish".

This thread - or at least so many of the responses - are just so odd.

I make a flour-free chocolate mud cake that by virtue of having no flour in it, is gluten-free, and none of my family are gluten-free. It’s part of my repertoire because it’s a delicious cake, that also happens to be super easy.

There are more and more vegan bakeries and cafes around now (I’m not in the UK), and the food is amazing. Popular with gluten free/coeliacs and non-glutens alike.

It can end up being more processed because there so many things are combined to make the GF stuff mimic the consistency of a wheat cake. Have a look on the ingredients of a GF brownie.

He’s a dick. In our house we always have a cake that everyone can share, no matter whose birthday it is.

Let’s face it, the 1yo isn’t going to be eating much cake so it’ll mostly be eaten by you and DH. It’s a waste to buy an entire cake that only one of you can eat.

I dont think its right to call you selfish but unless my child was gluten free I wouldn't get a gluten free cake as its not your birthday. I appreciate there will be another there too. With it being the 1st birthday it probably doesn't really matter though. I'm vegan but don't get my child vegan cakes personally.