DP says I'm selfish for having DD's birthday cake gluten free

[IntergalacticP]

Basically thread title.

DD turns one at the start of December. I've arranged for a local baker to make a cake for her. I asked for it to be gluten free as I have celiac disease.

DP said this was selfish. His reasoning being that gluten free cakes aren't as nice as normal cakes. He can't seem to come up with any other reason.

I just wanted to eat some of DDs first birthday cake.

He can organise a second cake then.

Not really sure what "proper food" means in this context but ok

About ten people total- one other celiac besides me.

A 1 yo is not going to care about the cake, so the logical thing is to get something that everyone who's there to celebrate the birthday can eat. If you can't eat a non gluten free cake and everyone else can eat a gluten free cake, then gluten-free it must be, or a combination if the number of people warrants two cakes.

If he's upset that you arranged for/ordered the cake on your own rather than the two of you choosing/ordering together, he probably has a point - but "selfish" is probably the wrong way to describe it.

If a baker is confident they can make a nice gluten free cake why not? My favourite cake at the cafe I used to work in was our gluten free lemon drizzle, and I have no intolerances.

Flourless torte is something I'd choose. Over most cakes. It is a thing, regardless of food intolerances. A delicious thing.

Big dollop of clotted cream? Heaven.

There's lots of gluten free products I wouldn't expect non coeliacs to eat but cake is not one of them. You can make and buy really decent gluten free cakes and desserts.

Lots of traditional dessert type things are naturally gluten free, e.g. macrons, chocolate roulade, pavlova

Wow. The ignorance on this thread is astounding. I bake. I bake bog standard sponge cakes, vegan cakes, gluten free cakes, dairy free cakes, other cakes.

I baked two vegan cakes for a family member's wedding earlier this year, I baked some gluten and dairy free butterfly buns for a charity afternoon tea. I made sure they tasted nice before taking them, and they were delicious. The coeliac said she was delighted to be catered for and moreover to be given something really tasty and home made.

“Proper food”

for a start, if mum has coeliac, it’s very likely her daughter will also have coeliac. It’s genetic.

YANBU

Your husband is an idiot

Most people would not be able to taste any difference between GF & non GF

Gluten free stuff is more processed. I wouldn’t eat it if I didn’t have to, and I wouldn’t give it to my one year old if I didn’t have to. I’d have got a normal cake and something else for myself.

You've organised it so what's the problem? Let him buy a second one if he's desperate, I'm vegan and usually get vegan cake for birthdays or I'd miss out and that seems daft especially if I'm buying it!!

I usually buy two cakes, one of my dds is coeliac, I think I have tried every baker, shop, even family members who claim they make the best gluten free cakes but they were all awful. Two cakes settled everyone's tastes and allergies.

My mum is gluten free. It wouldn't even occur to my teens to have a cake at an event she will be attending that she can't eat.

For example, DS2 was 17 yesterday. We went out for lunch with my Mum. We went to Sainsburys on the way to get a cake. DS wanted Red Velvet cake, which they didn't have a gluten free one of. So we had a different cake. My mum would have been happy to go without. DS wouldn't hear of it.

FWIW the cake we had was fine. Slightly dry, but shop cakes often are anyway.

Yanbu I bet if you didn't tell him he wouldn't have even noticed

Your DH is being a dick.

It’s her first birthday, the cake isn’t really for her. You grew her and birthed her, you deserve to enjoy the cake. And as you’re presumably organising the cake and birthday, you get to chose.

Remind your DH that one year ago you selflessly went through the pain of child-birth so you have earned your right to a be able to have a slice of your child's 1st birthday cake!

Honestly, he is a dick. I have a friend who is coeliac. She and her mum have both perfected the art of making good GF cakes. A group of us often meet up to celebrate out birthdays and one of them always brings the cake, so that all of us can enjoy it together. No-one has ever suggested she is selfish.

Yanbu

I hope you’re going to be bringing her up on proper food.

The irony is that lots of things only have wheat/gluten in them because they're processed and wheat flour is cheap. There's loads of things where wheat flour is added when if it was 'proper' it would be gluten free.

So, make your own.

It isn't difficult.

Er one year olds don't eat cake you absolute numpty

Thinking ahead - is he going to be like this every year? What if this child or another child is celiac - are they going to be made to feel second class?
GF cake is fine, bread not so much.

“People always say they can’t tell the difference”
well, they’re not going to say any different are they, that would be rude.
I’ve had many gf cakes made for me, I take a bite, smile and say yummmm, because I’m polite. No way would I opt to inflict it on other people.

Yes, they do. One year olds eat their birthday cake.