I think there are a couple of issues here @ComfortFoodCorner
Firstly, you aren’t co-dependent - you are dependent on them for collecting your daughter, but I don’t see what they are dependent on you for.
Secondly, you are in a country where you don’t know anyone, these people are from the same place of origin as you and as such, hold the same values etc., which perhaps you feel others around you won’t. But if you both work, what is stopping you from making friends with your colleagues? I think you should check if there’s a social club, bar, church, or similar, where people from your place of origin gather. Since this family have other friends from your home country, how did they meet them? Where did they meet them? And more importantly, why aren’t they helping you meet other families?
Thirdly, your home. You say that you don’t have much time for keeping your house clean, but I’m wondering if you’re using clean and clutter free interchangeably. If indeed, your home is cluttered, then that will require you to do some hard work. I do a lot of work with people around decluttering, organisation and housework. If your house is cluttered, then each day/evening/weekend, you need to commit to at least 30 mins, preferably an hour, where you are going to declutter. Start easy. Get a big basket/bag/box and go into each room and get all the clothes you can see. Your daughter can do this herself in her room. Make it a game. Who can collect the most barbies/Lego, etc., in 10 mins. Have a reward. If she’s older, then it should be enough that you say, please pick up your dolls/clothes/whatever. Once you’ve collected all the clothes you can see (so no looking in drawers, closets, etc.,), then you can go to the living room, or wherever, and sit and go through them. Sort them out into clothes to wash, and clothes to throw away. I’m hoping that there wouldn’t be clean clothes in the bag/box! The clothes to throw away should go straight to the bin. Yes, it would be better to donate them, but unless you’re going to the charity shop the next day, it’s just more stuff in your house. Clothes to wash can go straight into the wash basket. Make sure that you keep on top of washing. Do a wash every other day if need be and if you have enough clothing that requires washing. Make sure you properly shake clothes out straight out of the machine when they’re wet, as once they are dry, you can just put them away immediately and not bother with ironing (where I live, we have very high temperatures and no one ever irons, as ironing in 40+C temperatures is ridiculous, plus even school uniforms, once shaken and hung out, don’t really have big creases. Same with tumble drying during the wet season. Once the clothes have been on the cool setting at the end, they can be immediately taken out, shaken again and put away). So once you’ve dealt with clothes, the next thing should be books/newspapers/magazines. Get your box and collect all those things that are lying around. Books should be rehoused into the bookcases, newspapers thrown out and the same for magazines. Then you can do letters and paperwork. If you have a computer, scan the letters you want to keep onto the PC. Or take photographs on your phone and upload them onto the cloud. Throw the letters away afterwards. If you don’t have a shredder then use a black sharpie, or other permanent marker, on both sides of the paper, to ensure that sensitive information isn’t accessible and also tear them up. Next, go and look in your bedroom. Any cosmetics that are more than a year old shouldn’t really be used. Do you need more drawers for your clothes? Can you utilise the area under your bed for storage of summer/winter clothes? Do you have ornaments that are just collecting dust? Do you actually wear all the clothes you have? Then do the same in your DD’s room. In the bathroom, are you keeping bottles of shampoo, conditioners etc., that only have a few drops left in the bottom? What about cleaning products? You get the idea. You go through each room and do the same. Yes, it will take some time, but investing one hour a day, will pay off. In terms of cleaning, do that as you go. Wash out the sink after brushing your teeth. Buy a window squeegee that is only for the shower and use it for the tiles and glass after showering. I also have bathroom tea-towels, that are completely different from the kitchen ones that are used to wipe over the shower floors after showering, because the 30 seconds of doing that, saves the (adult) kids time when they have to clean their bathrooms and saves me/DH time when we do our bathroom. (And I do a deep clean every 2 weeks to make sure that everywhere is clean but that takes 20 minutes max as I clean as I go). Wipe the kitchen bench tops and cabinet fronts after doing the washing up/loading the dishwasher after the evening meal. During the commercial breaks, quickly dust/polish the living room furniture. Wipe down, or shake out/sweep off (I have a small dustpan and brush that I keep for this purpose) the tablecloth/dining table after eating. Decide on one day per week to do the high dusting in all the rooms. Dust/polish the bedroom furniture after you vacuum/sweep and mop the bedroom floors. Same with the stairs and banisters. Wipe down door handles and light switches once a week. Most of these are little housework jobs that you and DH can do quickly and easily every day, with 10 minutes of time investment. The initial decluttering and tidying will take the most time, but you will soon get into a routine and it will become second nature.
I raised 7 (5 with SEN) children and worked full time, as did my DH and people used to be amazed that my house was A. clutter free and B. clean and tidy. And for 7 of those years, I was effectively a single parent, as my job and the children’s educational needs meant that I lived 500 miles away from my DH and his job. I was running in fumes and coffee for a lot of those years but my (now grown) children all take care of their homes because whilst your home should actually be a home, it can be neat, clean and tidy.
Fourthly, you need to look at after school clubs/childminders and what entitlement you have for help with paying for this from the government. You can’t be so beholden to someone that you are scared to say “no, thank you. It’s really nice that you thought of us, but we actually don’t need food/clothes/ornaments/books/whatever crap is in that bag that isn’t good enough for your home”.
Fifthly, your DH. He really needs to make friends that are not dependent on a relationship where he can’t say “no” and where he’s actually so scared of losing that friendship that he can’t say “no”. As other posters have said, this isn’t a friendship. What hobbies does he have? Could he join a social club or group tailored to those hobbies?
I hope that all this helps in someway and wish you much luck in the future. I’ve moved away from a country that I lived in for many years, to a country that I was a very frequent (4 times per year for 16 years) visitor too and it’s hard to upend your whole life and go and live somewhere else. People who haven’t ever done that don’t understand, but you moved to where you are now for a reason and part of that move is being proactive and making new friends etc. And it can be done! I have a better social life now to the one I had before (although that might be because I live in a big place in terms of land mass, with a small population and most of the population is centred around the city, which is vast and sprawling and not really a city in terms of a UK city, but really more like a UK town).