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Original poster

Christmas Leave 'I have kids'

1000 replies

paintityellow · 23/10/2023 15:03

Yes I know this comes up every year, but it's so bloody annoying. The Christmas leave list went around in September, with it being specified that priority for Christmas Day would be given to people who worked it last year.
Despite this we now have a couple of people really trying to pressure others to give up Christmas Day because 'I have kids'. One of these women has had the last 3 Christmas Days off, the other's kids are teenagers. One of the people they're trying to pressure wants to fly home to spend Christmas day with her parents, Another has no family in the area so also wants to travel home for Christmas. Both worked last year.
AIBU to find this attitude infuriating?

OP posts:
WhatWouldHopperDo · 23/10/2023 15:05

YANBU - it's really unfair of them to try and manipulate/guilt trip people. I hope those people don't feel pressured to cave.

How is your employer at dealing with it? Mine wouldn't have much patience for that type of behaviour and would intervene.

smilesup · 23/10/2023 15:06

DH used to have to work shifts when the kids were little and it was shit.

Now they are older it doesn't matter as much and he will sacrifice his day for people with little ones. The golden years of Xmas really on last ages 3 until 11. And they zzooooom by.

Allthorpe100 · 23/10/2023 15:06

Nope I agree, if its rota’d one year on one year off thats what it should be. I have kids and have had to work over the xmas period and I don’t think I am more important than anyone who doesn’t have children. Everyone wants to spend it with their loved ones!

Original poster
paintityellow · 23/10/2023 15:06

They just say 'that's the list. If people want to swap around among themselves we don't mind'.

OP posts:
tfresh · 23/10/2023 15:07

I personally would swap for someone with young kids, I wouldn't if they were teenagers. I know compassion is frowned upon on mumsnet though, so you do you op.

WhateverMate · 23/10/2023 15:07

paintityellow · 23/10/2023 15:06

They just say 'that's the list. If people want to swap around among themselves we don't mind'.

You can't blame them for asking then.

They shouldn't be trying to pressure anyone though, so just ignore them.

Original poster
paintityellow · 23/10/2023 15:07

smilesup · 23/10/2023 15:06

DH used to have to work shifts when the kids were little and it was shit.

Now they are older it doesn't matter as much and he will sacrifice his day for people with little ones. The golden years of Xmas really on last ages 3 until 11. And they zzooooom by.

But it's also shit for people who can't go home for Christmas because they're working. And lots of people without young children have special Christmasses.

OP posts:
Normalsizedsalad · 23/10/2023 15:08

Asking to swap is fine. Guilt tripping because your little family simply is more important than any other family is not fine.
Support them to stay strong

Original poster
paintityellow · 23/10/2023 15:09

tfresh · 23/10/2023 15:07

I personally would swap for someone with young kids, I wouldn't if they were teenagers. I know compassion is frowned upon on mumsnet though, so you do you op.

How is it compassionate to ask someone who wants to fly home to her family for Christmas not to do so. Or to expect someone to spend Christmas alone because you won't take your turn at working Christmas Day?

And it's my turn to work this year, so yes 'I'll do me'.. ie suck it up because I had last Christmas off.

OP posts:
UndercoverCop · 23/10/2023 15:10

I used to always work Christmas before I had DC, cover for others who had younger children etc, but those same people, whose children are now young adults or teens, don't do the same for those of us who now have young children.

BitofaStramash · 23/10/2023 15:11

I don't blame people for asking.

I don't blame people for saying no.

ColleenDonaghy · 23/10/2023 15:11

YANBU. Asking politely is fine, pressuring isn't.

I actually needed leave over Christmas more pre kids as we used to travel to family. Now we have DC we stay home.

No one's family is more important.

ChocolateCakeOverspill · 23/10/2023 15:11

tfresh · 23/10/2023 15:07

I personally would swap for someone with young kids, I wouldn't if they were teenagers. I know compassion is frowned upon on mumsnet though, so you do you op.

Did you read the post?

10HailMarys · 23/10/2023 15:12

YANBU. This happened a lot at my last place of work - people in the team would ask for priority over me (and another colleague) for the days either side of Christmas because they had kids and we didn’t. Apparently the fact that I had elderly parents 200 miles away who can’t travel unaided, and my colleague had to fly overseas if she wanted to see any relatives at all, didn’t matter…

cadburyegg · 23/10/2023 15:12

YANBU. If they want guaranteed Christmas leave every year then they need to get a different job.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 23/10/2023 15:12

YANBU at all! This is the bane of my life - I’ve worked the last seven Christmases because I’m the only one on my team without kids, and my colleagues are entitled as fuck.

I’ve refused this year and the screams of outrage could be heard from space. Two of them have gone to HR. It’s bloody ridiculous.

I just hate the attitude that some workers are inherently lesser.

ColleenDonaghy · 23/10/2023 15:13

fitzwilliamdarcy · 23/10/2023 15:12

YANBU at all! This is the bane of my life - I’ve worked the last seven Christmases because I’m the only one on my team without kids, and my colleagues are entitled as fuck.

I’ve refused this year and the screams of outrage could be heard from space. Two of them have gone to HR. It’s bloody ridiculous.

I just hate the attitude that some workers are inherently lesser.

Fucking hell, stand firm.

10HailMarys · 23/10/2023 15:13

tfresh · 23/10/2023 15:07

I personally would swap for someone with young kids, I wouldn't if they were teenagers. I know compassion is frowned upon on mumsnet though, so you do you op.

Why are people with young kids more worthy of compassion than anyone else?

Original poster
paintityellow · 23/10/2023 15:16

BitofaStramash · 23/10/2023 15:11

I don't blame people for asking.

I don't blame people for saying no.

Absolutely. One person sent an email around asking if anyone would be willing to swap with her re Christmas Day as her children were small and her husband had to work that day. She said she would be very happy to give up New Years Day off in return but would understand if no one wanted to swap.

Someone offered. Probably because she asked politely and didn't state that she should have the day off, it wasn't fair etc

OP posts:
Pezdeoro41 · 23/10/2023 15:18

This is a tough one I think. I totally get where you are coming from and I felt like this too when I was single - I’ve done my fair share of Xmas working over the years.

But sometimes this is not just a preference on the part of parents - there is literally nowhere that you can get childcare on Xmas day! I’m a single parent, so sorry, yeah I do have to have it off if I’m not going to leave my child hungry and alone all day. There is simply no option, just is there is no option for me to work nights for example. It’s a take or leave it situation from my point of view and I’d simply have to find a different job if an employer couldn’t accept this, out of necessity.

SoRainbowRhythms · 23/10/2023 15:18

YANBU. Just because I don't have children doesn't mean I don't have a family I want to spend Christmas with.

CeriB82 · 23/10/2023 15:19

If they have kids, they should find a job where they get BH’s off. If its that important.

they chose employment where Christmas day is a work day.

minimadgirl · 23/10/2023 15:23

We were discussing this at work today. We work christmas day alternate years, and if you don't work christmas day , you work Boxing Day. It makes It fair on everyone, whether you have children or not.

Saying that I do have young kids and actually volunteered to work Christmas day this year, but we finish by 3pm.

However school holidays, that's a different kettle of fish. If you have preschoolers or no kids no chance of getting time off during the holidays.

Whaleandsnail6 · 23/10/2023 15:24

Yanbu. Ive been a nurse for 16 years and nothing annoys me more when it comes to Christmas is the "I've got kids so I should have it off mentality".

Everyone is entitled to have their own plans kids or no kids and no one should be made to feel guilty for this

Ive spent many a year working in spite of having young children and also living away from wider family so being unable to visit them if working. Its just one of those things if you work in certain jobs. We have celebrated Christmas different days when needed.

Original poster
paintityellow · 23/10/2023 15:24

minimadgirl · 23/10/2023 15:23

We were discussing this at work today. We work christmas day alternate years, and if you don't work christmas day , you work Boxing Day. It makes It fair on everyone, whether you have children or not.

Saying that I do have young kids and actually volunteered to work Christmas day this year, but we finish by 3pm.

However school holidays, that's a different kettle of fish. If you have preschoolers or no kids no chance of getting time off during the holidays.

How does that work if your partner's a teacher?

OP posts:
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