Christmas Leave 'I have kids'

[paintityellow]

Yes I know this comes up every year, but it's so bloody annoying. The Christmas leave list went around in September, with it being specified that priority for Christmas Day would be given to people who worked it last year.
Despite this we now have a couple of people really trying to pressure others to give up Christmas Day because 'I have kids'. One of these women has had the last 3 Christmas Days off, the other's kids are teenagers. One of the people they're trying to pressure wants to fly home to spend Christmas day with her parents, Another has no family in the area so also wants to travel home for Christmas. Both worked last year.
AIBU to find this attitude infuriating?

I’ve been on both sides of the fence we all piss in the same pot when it comes to holidays so no I wouldn’t swap
tbh I wouldn’t even engage with it

again it’s absolutely ok to be asked but guilt tripping and being shitty with you because you say no isn’t acceptable

It depends for me. My father was a prison officer and when we were older he always worked christmas day as he felt it was his duty to cover for parents with young kids at home. We accepted it.

Life for me is about give and take. If these people are repeatedly taking the piss then no i wouldnt swap a christmas with them but if they made other sacrifices to even things up by being flexible at other times of the year, yes i would help out.

Trouble is not many people give anymore, its all take take take.

Christmas is by large about spending time with loved ones. Who the fuck gets to decide their children are more important then someone else’s family?

This bullshit “I should have my chosen time off because I have children” shit is SO boring.

Because other people have family? Why shouldn't they be able to spend Christmas with their family just because someone has kids?

My family are more important to me than someone else's kids

Christmas is very important for me, it's one of the only times I have all my adult children together. I do understand why parents of young children want to be off, but family time is precious to many for various reasons. So I think the rota is the fairest way. People can swap if they wish, but I wouldn't be guilt tripped into swapping.

Because unless these adults believe in Father Christmas, it doesn't really matter does it? They can go see them the week after.

I haven't read any other responses, because I think this is spot on.

I know my manager would absolutely step in if this situation arose in my work place.

I agree with this. I've worked many Christmases and it's part and parcel of the job, used to swap before having DS quite happily so others could have it off but just take it as it comes now. Fine to swap if you want to and genuinely don't mind but no one should be pressured into it- Christmas is important to different people for different reasons and none are more important than the other. It can be tricky for say lone parents with absolutely zero support as childcare tends to close, but doesn't apply here and in reality it isn't the issue of others.

When I was a nurse this occurred every year and it’s really annoying . I now have adult children but Christmas is still a really big deal in our house personally couldn’t give 2 hoots about New Year and never have .

Absolutely this.

Some people need reminded that you catch more flies with honey than with shit.

And as for people saying those with young children should be prioritised- absolute utter, utter selfishness to not believe that childfree people are just as entitled to the day off as parents of little kids. I hope you’re all as generous with your public holidays when you’re past the Santa Years as you’re expecting others to be.

@DragonFly98 If you really think a six year old who still believes in Santa having a magical day with their parents isn't more important than a middle aged woman spending time with their also adult parents you are very selfish

Often Christmas is the only time in the year that whole extended families can get too see each other. If you think whole extended families (which may include 6 year olds) spending precious time together once a year is not as important as a 6 year old spending a day celebrating a fictional fat man then you are the selfish one.

This is breathtakingly entitled. Really.

YANBU.

Although it's lovely to have Christmas Day with young kids and arranging childcare over Christmas can be tricky, people who live with their children aren't at risk of being completely alone over the holiday period if they can't get the time off work.

My brother is single and doesn't have a car, so he is completely reliant on trains to get anywhere for Christmas, and of course there are no trains on Christmas Day or Boxing Day. He lives a couple of hundred miles away from our parents. He works in a bank so he never has to work on Christmas Day or Boxing Day, but if he had to work on the 27th he would be spending Christmas alone because he wouldn't be able to get back in time to start work on the 27th. This will be the case for lots of younger adults, particularly those living in London who don't tend to have cars and who often live hours away from their families. But their Christmases are deemed less important.

Nah, parents aren't entitled to have xmas off over others. Especially if they had xmas off last year. Tell them where to go OP.

SEVEN years on the trot? No wonder you're sick and tired of this attitude. You are more than overdue your slice of the cake.

It's an attitude that infuriates me (and leads me to wonder exactly what insufferable adults the kids of parents like this will grow into). Those without children should be expected to sacrifice their Christmases, to move out of their pre-booked plane seats because someone hasn't booked one for their darling child, disabled adults having to wait for the next bus because someone with a pram has taken up the space and is too rude and inconsiderate to fold it up.

Your colleagues have no right to know the first thing about your family structure, or even whether you have children or not. Kicking off/going to HR tells you exactly the type you're dealing with her (it's the type detailed above). I do have a DC and I seriously hope I'm instilling better manners in them than this. We can all start by demonstrating that we're not some kind of superior being with first dibs on all the 'rights' because we've chosen to reproduce.

Those who don't want to work Christmas - or do their fare share of alternation on the rota - have a choice. They have the choice of finding another career path where this is not a requirement. IMO, it's a pity everyone doesn't say a default 'no' to these CF requests, rather than adopting the woolly attitude that 'it's nice to be nice' (to everyone but oneself).

The hell with that noise!

I guess some people just have a very narrow view of Christmas and think it's really just about Santa and presents. You can understand, in that case, why they think only those with children should get priority over Christmas.
But they fail to take into account that that's absolutely not how other people view it. For many it's an important religious festival, a time for family in whatever shape or size it comes, or a day associated with precious memories and traditions that they want to keep up as long as possible before elderly parents and relatives are no longer with them

Christmas is not for children, it’s for family. Whatever form that takes in your household.
And it’s a refusal to see that which irritates a lot of people into saying ‘Bog off, get your photo op of your children with their vast mountains of gifts on a different day.’ Look how many posts there are the day after, complaining about family, children and Life In General.
if I gave up my Christmas Eve/Day I’d want evidence of Hallmark moments and Joy to the world to prove my sacrifice was worth it. Because we always have a wonderful time, even though we’re all adults now and have been for years.

I have teens and Xmas isn't the same as it was when they were little. I worked Xmas pre dc and if I still had a Xmas working job I'd work at least the morning so people with young dc could spend it with them.

Dig your heels in. If any of them are off with you about it, raise it with management. It’s the only way to deal with this attitude.

This is oversimplifying imo. Of course we all want 6 year olds to have nice Christmases, but for me, if it was a case of prioritising leave for my single and childless friend who lived alone through the pandemic and lockdowns during which time her non live-in DP broke up with her, versus children in a happy 2 parent home who can have a nice Christmas with each other and the parent who isn’t working, I would prioritise my single friend to have the day off and spend Christmas with her aging mum or her best friend or whoever she wants.

The issue is you thinking other people give a shit about your kid’s ‘magical’ Christmas. I care as much as you do about my Christmas. I’m not putting your kids above my family and me. You’re just as selfish as the people you probably try to pressure into giving up their Christmas with loved ones.

You do know that Christmas isn’t actually just about presents don’t you? There is actually a deeper meaning, and to some it means more as they get older.

Funny. I thought Christmas was for loved ones. Extended family get together, elderly parents who may not have many Christmas's left, travelling home from far away. Many reasons. Not just children celebrating a fat dude in a red suit

And it’s also very selfish to think you should take priority over someone just because they don’t have kids. Christmas is not “all about kids”. I don’t care for it myself but plenty of people have adult friends and family they want to see, or they might want to go away over Christmas. People are also allowed to be selfish (just as you’re being!)

YANBU OP.

Same, we close Christmas day so this isn't much of an issue for us now but some years we may open the gap between Christmas and new years. I always offer to come in after boxing day if they need someone and especially for new years eve/day as i never really got into it.