Christmas Leave 'I have kids'

[paintityellow]

Yes I know this comes up every year, but it's so bloody annoying. The Christmas leave list went around in September, with it being specified that priority for Christmas Day would be given to people who worked it last year.
Despite this we now have a couple of people really trying to pressure others to give up Christmas Day because 'I have kids'. One of these women has had the last 3 Christmas Days off, the other's kids are teenagers. One of the people they're trying to pressure wants to fly home to spend Christmas day with her parents, Another has no family in the area so also wants to travel home for Christmas. Both worked last year.
AIBU to find this attitude infuriating?

The example given here is people who need to travel to see their family though. Are you honestly saying that unless their parents are literally dying or they have kids then it doesn't matter if they spend Christmas alone year after year?

We are lucky enough to have a very mixed demographic working for our company. The conversation often goes "I'll do Christmas as long as you'll cover for me at Eid" or we have some orthodox employees who will do Christmas but not 6th/7th of January. It doesn't mean that anyone ignores Christmas just that the date is less important to some than others - it takes a huge amount of pressure off to be honest.

If you don't want to work Christmas Day choose a career that doesn't include working on Christmas Day. Otherwise everyone has the same rights regardless of child/travel/caring responsibilities. The best option is to ask who will work and then see how that lands. Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New Years Eve, New Year's Day - it usually works out especially if there's an incentive to work.

We used to do if Xmas off you work ny eve and vice versa.Then swap the following year

Personally I think the selfish ones are the parents who have kids knowing full well that their jobs won’t allow them every Christmas off, if that time is so precious to them. Get a job that doesn’t involve working Christmas if you want to spend every Christmas with your children Don’t expect others to think that your children are more important than their own well-being and families. Thats’s next level entitlement and selfishness - prioritising your job over your children!

Christmas / New year is a great time to take a long break without using too many days holiday…this year as an example most people can be off from December 22nd to January 2nd - 11 days - by just using 3 days holiday. By making a childless couple work Christmas Day that’s reduced to a 7 days for 3 days holiday.

Perhaps the solution is to let those without children have an extra 5 days holiday a year compared to those with kids, so they can take a long break for just 3 days ‘normal’ holiday at any time of year, and in return those with children get Christmas off ;)

Pre kids I always worked Christmas because I didn't mind. Lots of the singles did because working Christmas guaranteed New Years off, which was bigger for them.

Now I'm separated from their dad, if he ever took them for Christmas I'd work then too, and we'd do Christmas another day - but then my family's always been flexible around which day is the family day around Christmas - one year we even did it in February because that's when everyone could visit.

To be fair, it's really annoying when they force people to cover when absolutely nothing is going on.

The last few Christmases before my current job I worked between Christmas and New Year but worked from home and just sat there replying to the odd email and doing non-urgent stuff whilst working my way through the Quality Street and prosecco.

In my current job they just close the office for a week.

Lots of people have lots of reasons for wanting Christmas off
Elderly parents or relatives who may not see another Christmas
Living away from family having to travel
Partner working on the other days
It isn't just about kids. It needs to be fairly allocated

Or just wanting to enjoy the day, possibly by themselves eating festive food and watching the Sound of Music. No one gets to decide for another whether their Christmas plans are more or less deserving of time off At Christmas.

Christmas is the one time of the year that I get to spend time with my family due to work commitments. I have lost three babies through stillbirth and neonatal death and Christmas with my family is both supportive and meaningful.

No, I don’t want to sit alone at Christmas every single year so others get to have the time off with their kids. Life’s already been pretty unfair to me so let’s just split it every other year and be fair to all.

Fil had this as he worked for the railways in management and never got to take more than a day or 2 with mil as she was a teacher and without children he didn’t qualify for school holiday leave priority. Makes me angry. My dc are teens and still bloody love Christmas more than when they were little. Needs to be shared out without the guilt trips from others. Don’t like it? Work somewhere else. I’m working Boxing Day this year.

Some places do it so you continue to work your set shifts if you have them, others ask to put a preference to work either Christmas Day or New Year’s Day but there’s no guarantee. They don’t accept anyone booking Christmas Day, or New years off on holiday. Nobody can just decide to book off to go abroad or anywhere else on holiday from say 23rd-27th and that they’ll work new years instead. But you could book off say 19th-24th. think this is fairest. I think they should either continue working set shifts or just put names in a hat, whoever is pulled out works Christmas, others New Years. You work one or the other and luck of the draw!

I have young children, and sometimes we just do ‘Christmas’ on another day. We stick star stickers on the advent calendar door we are celebrating on, they get Christmas cake for breakfast on actual Christmas cake when this happens. Those old enough to know it’s not actually Christmas Day, are happy because they know daddy is at work. Santa understands these things and makes extra special deliveries so they get theirs early. (Always do it before Christmas, never after!).

Those with and without children, whatever the ages can just celebrate on a different day depending on luck of draw. I don’t think there’s another fair way .

That's a rather judgemental attitude. I don't have kids, but that doesn't mean I should miss Christmas with parents, nephews/nieces or even just my husband!

Yeah, fuck that.

This happened to me for a few years. I had several years on the trot where I had to work Christmas as I didn't have kids. But I also didn't have a car and there's no public transport over xmas/boxing day so it just meant I had to spend Christmas alone as I couldn't travel to see anyone.

This message starts sort of kindly, I think — but the implication that the OP isn’t being compassionate because she’s dared to question the requests has really riled me. Speaking as someone with kids here, why would my need trump someone’s desire to fly home to see family, for example?

Sorting out childcare at Christmas can't be easy, but for those who want priority because the kids 'need' to be with their parent on Christmas, no. With very young children, they only know the date if you tell them and make a fuss in the lead-up, and for kids of all ages, there are ways to work around it. Have Christmas early or late. Tell them you've written to Father Christmas/Santa and explained that one parent has to work on Christmas Day, so could he come on Boxing Day instead, this year? It's not the end of the world to not celebrate the same way every year.

I'm being pressured too. I'm on my own - no partner and no kids and feeling depressed about the no partner situation. I and another single, childfree friend have planned to go away to her family's holiday home in Sweden this year and I'm really looking forward to it and feel more optimistic....

But t least three people have now asked me to work over Christmas and between Christmas and New Year because they have young children and...as I said....I have no one. Not even any parents now. It's like my mental health and physical health - I've just worked 5 weeks in a row as I've had 4 lots of weekend on calls due to covid and other sickness. PLus I'm recovering from a chest infection myself....just doesn't matter.

Well, they are stuffed because I'm not doing it and my (our) boss is supporting me. Of course because she is also childfree she's in the firing line for them as well (and will be covering Christmas as it's her turn).

Exactly it’s an absolutely outrageous attitude and in the example given by the OP the childfree person would be alone for Christmas completely alone if they didn’t have it off since they wouldn’t have the time to travel to their families. The person with the kids will presumably see their kids in the evening or the morning after /before work so they wouldn’t be completely alone.

OP, This doesn’t happen in my work, no one is entitled about taking Christmas off due to kids and therefore I’ve always happily worked over Christmas unless I’m travelling so others - parents or otherwise - who are more into Christmas can have the day off.

Exactly this. It’s only “all about kids” if you have them. What about those, for example, with widowed parents who will be alone of their adult child can’t be with them?

Christmas is about what you want it to be about - I personally dont have small children, but love spending Christmas with my family - your dc are not more important to you than my family are to me.

I hope you go to Sweden and have a lovely time.

@thesurrealist well done - stick to your guns. Your situation is the perfect example of why it’s actually sometimes more important not less, for childfree and single people to have Christmas off than people with young kids.

I live alone and was worried there was going to be another UK lockdown in Christmas 2021 which would have me confined to my flat alone, so I went abroad to stay with friends in Spain for most of December .

The lack of empathy society has for single /childfree people sometimes is disgusting.

I kind of get it. An adult can understand celebrating a day late - so if you're seeing all your adult family you can make arrangements to meet on Boxing Day. It's still lovely. Once children are about 4 there's no pretending that Santa is coming another day. As a parent you'd miss the whole of the 'big moment.'

My biggest bugbear though is that everyone feels entitled to Christmas Eve and Day. I'm a devout catholic. My kids go to catholic school, we go to mass on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. The thought of missing it really upsets me - and did pre-kids. Fortunately where I am now closes for Christmas, but it really irked me at my previous place that other religious people got time off for Eid, Chanukah etc (rightly so!) but 'Christmas is different' and suddenly people who'd never set foot in a church were as entitled to ask for it off as me!

It’s weird - before I had kids I would always volunteer to work Christmas over those with kids. However, I’d have been annoyed if I had been expected to do that.

Christmas is generally more important for those with kids (I’m sure there are exceptions but generally) and it’s therefore a nice thing to do to give them priority. However, people shouldn’t be forced to do it just because it’s nice.

Yep And i am my parents child. No matter how old i get i am still their daughter.