Christmas Leave 'I have kids'

[paintityellow]

Yes I know this comes up every year, but it's so bloody annoying. The Christmas leave list went around in September, with it being specified that priority for Christmas Day would be given to people who worked it last year.
Despite this we now have a couple of people really trying to pressure others to give up Christmas Day because 'I have kids'. One of these women has had the last 3 Christmas Days off, the other's kids are teenagers. One of the people they're trying to pressure wants to fly home to spend Christmas day with her parents, Another has no family in the area so also wants to travel home for Christmas. Both worked last year.
AIBU to find this attitude infuriating?

I work a lot over Christmas because I have young kids! All those new toys, stacks of chocolate and sweets us quite often miserable weather? No thank you, I go into work! Fortunately dh has a two week Christmas shutdown so it has never been an issue. Expecting time off because of family is just entitled though. A system of alternate years is the fairest way so your company needs to be firmer.

@minimadgirl one of my SILs used to work Christmas Day and so did my DP.

They realised as they had to work during that period the trick was to ask for the time of day or night they decided was better for them.

So my SIL would ask to start work from mid-afternoon on-wards, there as my DP would either do Christmas Eve night or Christmas Day night. It meant in both cases they never did the washing and clearing up. 😂

I worked 10 Christmas’s in a row (care home) despite having a child. I have also worked several Christmas’s and New Years in my current job ( hospitality)
However its now got to the point where the moaning and heavy hinting about giving up my pre-booked days over Christmas really gets on my nerves and I absolutely won’t budge.
The actual dates of the Christmas break don’t change, so if you’e got young kids or something planned, get your requested days in early!!
Not my fault!

It's not about the adult spending time with their kids, it's the kids spending time with their parents that's important . Children trump adults at Christmas unless a colleague's parent is terminally ill.

Honestly, I think that it's pretty selfish that people won't prioritize someone else who has kids. Christmas is all about kids. And parents rightly want to be there for them. Before I had kids it really didn't matter to me what leave I had off around Xmas, as long as I had part of Xmas day off. I feel very differently now that I have children. Once they are grown up I would happily work over the Xmas period again in order to let others be at home with their young children.

Who says Christmas is all about kids? Those with kids maybe...

Quite frankly, they don't

I think the problem there is management.

They shouldn’t pass the problem on to staff to deal with. They should be saying - “we’ve taken into account everyone’s requests and this is the list. Please don’t ask your colleagues to swap - if you have an issue you must come through management”

But if management are being weak like this, people just have to push back. You take a job that can involve working Christmas, you take your turn working it.

I get it OP I don't have to work Christmas day but we need cover either side. I have young children and the nursery is shut so if my husband is also working it's very very difficult to suss out. However I have worked 3 out of 5 (with the other 2 being when I was on mat leaves!) I have colleagues who have never worked it in over 5 years and there was a scramble with people saying I have already had it approved etc etc.

Our manager has got fed up and taken control, anyone who has worked it in the last 4 years is auto off the list for working it! It's caused such an uproar but actually I'm glad that I can't be guilt tripped into it like previous years and it's a lot fairer.

If you really think a six year old who still believes in Santa having a magical day with their parents isn't more important than a middle aged woman spending time with their also adult parents you are very selfish.

Agreed OP. Christmas (or just having time off!) can be important to all kinds of people for different reasons. You shouldn’t be at the front of the queue just because you have kids.

I have a parent who used to have to work on the 25th sometimes and those years we would just do ‘Christmas day’ on a different day - presents, games, dinner etc. We still had our stockings on Christmas morning (obviously Santa can’t change his schedule) and saw other family, but we essentially got two Christmases - it was great!

Spending perhaps the last Christmas with aged parents is also precious. So is spending Christmas seeing family if you live in a different country. Small kids is only one reason for wanting time off at Christmas

That's really unfair tbh. Why should childfree people get second best because of my life choice to have a child. A year on, a year off would be fair. Unless the childfree person isn't bothered about working over christmas.

No, I am realist. If you believe that your kids are more important than anyone's elses priorities you are selfish

Small kids are not the only precious ones at Christmas. What about elderly parents who might only have this one Christmas left?

As others have said, it’s not the asking, it’s the whining and the nagging and the emotional blackmail.
Im supporting DD who works in hospitality, so they’re booked solid over the festive period. She swapped several times in the past with parents of young children…who have been decent human beings and colleagues over the year.
Yes, if you’re on the Naughty List, you can whimper all you like and the answer is still no.🤣

@LunaMay you beat me to it.... Since when has Christmas been all about kids ?! Never in our house, even when we were kids.
Christmas in our families is about spending time with loved ones whatever age they are ( i cant say it's about the religious stuff I'm afraid, because I'm not religious). Those without children may have an elderly parent who is alone, or families who are a long way away. So many reasons people with children shouldn't be given priority.

I often felt sorry for exBIL's colleagues. Not only did he think he should never ever have to work Christmas, he used to get really angry and aggressive about it.

I feel for people in jobs that require a Christmas shift. But I feel for people on this basis whether they have children or not. Pre children, I still loved Christmas, spent it with family etc.

I try to emulate my mother who took the view that much as she loved Christmas, it could be done at another date if necessary - this was needed as we were all a bit scattered. We've had lots of Christmas celebrations on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day over the years.

The minute they started trying to pressure me would be the minute I stopped even considering swapping.

Why on earth would you make someone with kids work if you could let them have it as leave?
Christmas is for children.

I have two young children BUT I think it would be unfair for the same people to work on Christmas Day just because they don't have children. The fact that some people with children believe that the childless should go in by default and don't even appreciate it when they do, would further rub me up the wrong way.

how do they think hr will sort this if tis their turn its their turn

people shouldnt have xmas off forever because theyve got kids-its life get over it

I don't think it's fair at all to pressure those who don't have kids. They have just as much right as those with kids. The employer needs to deal with it fairly.

I think you're lucky to have your Christmas rota already we are still waiting 😂

I've worked in my job for five years, have only had one full Christmas Day off in that time, last year I did Xmas Eve night and Xmas day night,

I have children, although not that young anymore. But my DP is also home for Christmas for the first time since we got together this year, so I have requested to work Xmas Eve night. And New Year's Eve day, I will be throwing a tantrum if they put me down to work Christmas Day again. As there is people with and without Children who haven't worked one since I've been there!

I don't think having young children trumps it though! Don't work in a job where you have to work Xmas if you want it off every year

Yanbu op. Some people are so bloody entitled. You can actually tell by a couple of replies to this thread who think their needs trump others because of their precious offspring 😂