Christmas Leave 'I have kids'

[paintityellow]

Yes I know this comes up every year, but it's so bloody annoying. The Christmas leave list went around in September, with it being specified that priority for Christmas Day would be given to people who worked it last year.
Despite this we now have a couple of people really trying to pressure others to give up Christmas Day because 'I have kids'. One of these women has had the last 3 Christmas Days off, the other's kids are teenagers. One of the people they're trying to pressure wants to fly home to spend Christmas day with her parents, Another has no family in the area so also wants to travel home for Christmas. Both worked last year.
AIBU to find this attitude infuriating?

Good for you if it was so important you only took jobs where you didn't have to work at Christmas, there are many.

I am grateful for all the parents who are working, and ready to treat my kid in A&E if we need, or all the other roles where you can't just close shop for Christmas.

I hate to break it to you, but if your child's could only be happy on Christmas day if the 2 of you were home at set hours, you are doing something very wrong 😂

Christmas would have been more magical if you had been less rigid about it.

To be fair before I had kids I always used to volunteer for the Christmas day shift because I kind of think Christmas day is more important for those with kids then with out. I kind of think if you don't have kids Christmas day is just another day of the year.

I volunteered to work over Christmas when single and childless because I thought - and think - that Christmas morning is about making small kids happy.

Yes, people with kids shouldn't automatically get Christmas off over people without, but come on, would it kill you to see why it matters to them?

Exactly

No it really isn’t.

Maybe the answer to it is to make nurseries and child care settings open for Christmas Day/Christmas period, I mean what do people expect parents to do if they don’t have any family to help.

Better tell the nursing homes they shouldnt be having carol services visiting them then as Christmas is just for kids. No office Christmas parties or dinners, etc

To all the people that say Christmas is about children... wtf?!!
How condescending!
Christmas is about family, and that takes many forms.

IMO your reasoning is completely spot on. I wish more people were as thoughtful as you. Some responses on this thread have been so devoid of empathy for those who don’t live in a nuclear family.

It’s a good point you raise about 2- parent family as well. If a colleague was a single parent of young kids with no other family I might be more inclined to swap. Very different situation from someone in a 2 parent family set up.

@10HailMarys the kids are worthy of more compassion at Christmas than an adult. It's not about the parents.

I left an industry I loved when I became a parent because it required Christmas day work.
I was lucky I was able to do that, and it may change in the future, but that was my priority at the time (and still is).

Christmas is for families, in any shape they take. Yes when you have young children there's a lot more 'magic', but that doesn't take away from how special or important the day can be for other people.

If you work in a job that requires Christmas day shifts, then you need to accept that you have to work your fair share.

I have kids. Christmas matter. My kids believe, I am a big fan of Lapland, the Elf, the grottos, the pantos, everything. It does matter.

I still do not believe for a second I should get priority at Christmas. Fair do to volunteer if you really don't care and want to be nice, but Christmas matter to a lot of people. It must be fair.

If you believe in Christmas, you believe in the season of good will, and if it's important for someone to spend Christmas day with their dog, then you know what, they are entitled to it just as much as anyone else. Take turn.

What arrogant rubbish. No-one trumps anyone, one person is not more important than another just because it suits your agenda at the moment.

having parents who work at Christmas does not have to remove the magic, that's the thing.

It's the attitude of SOME entitled parents which will ruin it, nothing else.

This is a very crude way of looking at it.

the fact is children can and often do still enjoy Christmas with one parent and they may even see the other parent who is working after /before their shift.

Conversely, adults who are single and live and need the time off to travel to family /friends so they wont be alone, could easily be very depressed waking up and coming home to an empty house at Christmas.

Honestly very very small kids have no idea when Christmas Day actually is. Most adults, unless they are very very religious (Christian, Catholic or Buddhist) can do Christmas another day, otherwise it is just another day. People have all sorts of reasons for prioritising their own needs, sometimes through the virtue of others (elderly parents etc). Some people choose to volunteer their time on Christmas Day to help others. I am very very grateful for all the people who do work at Christmas, although I hope I never need to use your services.

It wouldn’t annoy me as I would just just say no.

The way the company do it is fair, if people want to ask and others want to swap, that’s fine. I find it really easy to ignore those that use pressure and guilt tripping to get their own way because they’re unpleasant so I feel no desire to help. 😅

You don't have a selfish colleague problem OP, you have a useless management problem.

Everyone puts in their requests, they look at how many people can be off on the day, take into account who was off last Christmas day, then year before last etc, names in a hat if needed and then let everyone know who's off.

End of. Set in stone. No amount of whinging will change it. Have a backbone basically.

It is completely irrelevant who has kids and what ages they are.

I have two primary age kids and I cringed at PPs saying Christmas is just for kids. Please tell me you were joking?

If spending Christmas Day with their parents is of such paramount importance, why haven’t the parents prioritised getting a job where Christmas working isn’t required? I’ve never had to work Christmas Day or any other bank holiday- it’s just a given in my job that there’s no need. Jobs like this aren’t rare, or universally badly paid, or necessarily needing specific skillsets. If I can do that, why can’t you? Why do you expect other people to make sacrifices to support your life choices if you haven’t gone to every effort yourself? Don’t you think that’s pretty entitled and selfish?

But why are children more worthy of compassion? Surely everyone should be equal?

I’m in a job where I don’t have to work Christmas Day, and my only family lives a couple of hours away so I don’t have to travel that far. This means I generally volunteer to work between Christmas and New Year so people can have time off with their families while the kids are off school - works for them, and works for me as I can take leave at a less busy time with better weather.

But if I needed to travel more, or had more people I wanted to visit, I would absolutely expect to have an equal share of the “prime” Christmas leave slots.

Seven?! STAY STRONG. You more than deserve to do absolutely whatever you want for Christmas this year (and probably expense it), and if the complete and total shit trumpets you work with decide to go to HR, let ‘em. What a bunch of absolute wankers. You can always come back here and start a thread for moral support as the time gets closer… and the atmosphere begins to turn ugly. Get out, though, before they start throwing elbows. 😬

You can work around it sometimes Christmas Day if they're small too
We had Christmas Day the day before or the day after as my parents worked every Christmas
Or we would open presents first thing, parents work then food in the evening

.

It's fine to ask.
It's fine to say no.
It's fine to re-ask and mention that the other parent is also working, no nursery/childminder etc who can have them.
It's fine to repeat no.

Anything else is unreasonable and either they or other parent needs to find a different job.

It depends on your circumstances though.

When I used to work over the Christmas period as a young adult, I was living with my parents. If I had to go into the office I would be back home and cracking open a bottle of wine with my mum by 6pm. If I was working from home I could eat Christmas leftovers for lunch. It was no bother for me at all. I actually liked working those days because it was so quiet.

But if I'd been living far away from my parents, across an international border or reliant on public transport, and unable to work from home, having that time off would have been really important to me.