Christmas Leave 'I have kids'

[paintityellow]

Yes I know this comes up every year, but it's so bloody annoying. The Christmas leave list went around in September, with it being specified that priority for Christmas Day would be given to people who worked it last year.
Despite this we now have a couple of people really trying to pressure others to give up Christmas Day because 'I have kids'. One of these women has had the last 3 Christmas Days off, the other's kids are teenagers. One of the people they're trying to pressure wants to fly home to spend Christmas day with her parents, Another has no family in the area so also wants to travel home for Christmas. Both worked last year.
AIBU to find this attitude infuriating?

But none of them chose that job expecting to work on Christmas Day every year whilst their colleagues get to opt out.

I posted saying I was digging my heels in now and not giving in to parents who want me to work Christmas again - because it’d be the eighth in a row. You bet I’m annoyed. What understanding exactly have I been shown? I’ve worked seven Christmases in a row and not only has there been zero gratitude, but two of them are trying to make trouble for me with HR because I want to have ONE Christmas off.

That’s where the anger comes from - entitled people.

So I should work every Christmas, only spending the day with my parents when they're dying?

Just because your family revolves around children doesn't mean everyone else's does.

Sure, and she’s happy to have give and take. One year on, one year off. Unlike the parent colleagues, who want all years off. She’s not the one that needs to change jobs.

Everyone who chose that job deserves a year on/year off system.

It's really not very complicated.

So only those with young kids are deserving of compassion? Teenagers and childless people hoping to travel to spend Christmas with their families can just rot…

But OP is willing to do HER TURN.

We’re talking about parents having to do THEIR TURN.

But to entitled people like yourself, there is no such thing as turns. Just people you take turns taking advantage of.

And OP, like most others, has not said they are not happy to do that job. They just don't see why, if it is expected that Christmas is worked on a rota, that parents can't take their turn. As I am sure it is outlined in the terms and conditions of the job. None of the child free posters here have said they object to working when it is their turn. what they do object to is being harassed into giving up their day when they are not on the rota to do it because it isn't their turn. They don't want to never have to work a Christmas necessarily, they just want to have the turn they are entitled to under the conditions of their employment.

I work as a hospital consultant. One year, a consultant colleague was pregnant with her second child. Throughout her pregnancy, I went over and above covering some of her work to minimise the amount of travelling she had to do (we work out of a few different centres). I did this largely cos she was a friend of mine, i don’t think I’d have done the same for a pregnant colleague with whom I wasn’t particularly friendly- I say this to make the point that I did a significant amount of work to make a difference to her and make her life easier. She always thanked me, but then during her maternity leave she wrote an article for the national medical press about how hard it was to be a mother in medicine and how she had struggled through her pregnancies with no allowances made by her employer (not true- she was off the on-call rota from very early in her pregnancy and the rest of us covered her shifts) and no help from colleagues. That damaged our friendship quite a bit and when she was pregnant next time she then found out what having no help from colleagues actually looked like!

What a load of nonsense.

The small children are not the responsibility of the employer or the childfree colleagues.

The only situation where I would say someone's children or lack thereof should be taken into account is where one of two people has to work and one of them has literally zero childcare options for Christmas Day. That means they are either a lone parent or their children's other parent also has to work Christmas Day, with proof being provided.

But on the whole I think that lone parents without family help, e.g. siblings or grandparents who could have their child for a few hours on Christmas Day, probably need to avoid the kind of employment where working on Christmas Day is necessary.

I completely understand your personal situation and the HR parts are ridiculous on their part.

Like I said in my post, if people are that bothered about having it off then they should get a job that doesn't require Christmas working. You are entitled to enjoy a Christmas off work, just as they are to spend theirs with their Children.

One doesn't 'trump' the other, but both need to be addressed fairly and in a way that doesn't create animosity. Your workplace needs to address this better.

I have been on both sides of the fence in recent years so have good awareness of both. It's a shame that it reaches a point where people like yourselves who have frankly been taken advantage of get to a point where you feel you have to do that, which I'm sure isn't your nature normally.

And isn’t complaining about taking turns working Christmas, and doesn’t think she’s more important than her colleagues due to her responsibilities outside of work.

Might happen. I have seen some other discussions online where childfree/childless people are actively looking for jobs where they will not be de-prioritised automatically and leaving jobs where that happens.

Alsl going by the thread progression mr thinks holy just chimed in to shitstir

My birthday always falls in a half term. If I want to take the week off to celebrate my birthday as I want, then I will thanks.

You get that it's normal to think small children are precious right? Even if they aren't your own...

Nope. Not precious to me. Not above my friends and family who I want to spend time with during holidays.

If you think that's selfish, then tough shit. You want real selfishness, you see some of the posts from parents who think we are second class citizens.

I think children I actually know are precious. Unless I know them to be little shits. Then I don't think they're precious.

I don't have strong feelings about children I don't know.

Same here, my birthday is always in half term. I always take it off. I have actually never worked my birthday even when I had to make sure there was cover I put my requests in early so I didn't have to.

I'm so glad I don't have to have rotas for holiday anymore.

So only those with young kids are deserving of compassion? Teenagers and childless people hoping to travel to spend Christmas with their families can just rot…

I've had no children, young children and now teenagers. I also would swap for young dc but not teenagers and wouldn't dream of asking for a swap for my lovely but frankly late sleeping non Santa believing teens.
I would also swap for carers of adults and those with ill family members.

I hate the sense of entitlement around Christmas working. There is always someone who thinks that the fact they have children means they shouldn’t have to work Christmas Day. The majority of workers have family who they want to spend time with! Taking it in turns is the only fair way.

Yes and OP thinks it’s only right that everyone takes turns.
Shes not complaining about not being allowed Christmas every year because she has kids.
So her job choice is suitable for her needs

People married to teachers.
Better weather to go abroad.
Visiting relatives, friends to see their nephews etc.
Child care for working relatives.
Just because it’s their life to live

That was for @Acornsoup
apologies hate these running threads

Oh so anyone without kids shouldn't celebrate xmas then?

Apparently it’s not even about celebrating a Christian festival.