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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH says he’d leave me if I grew a penis - who’s BU?

157 replies

PunkyPatata · 22/10/2023 15:44

Lighthearted and I’ve NC’d for this thread.

DH (male) and I (female) were having a jokey discussion last night and I asked him if he’d leave me if I grew a penis… He said he would, although we could stay friends..

AIBU to be a bit annoyed that He’d leave me in this hypothetical situation?!

OP posts:
Terfosaurus · 22/10/2023 15:46

Yabu. Why did you ask him about a hypothetical situation if you didn't want an answer about the hypothetical situation?

fruitbrewhaha · 22/10/2023 15:47

So would you be completely content if your dh ‘became a woman’? I mean, it’s a weird kind of reality for some wives. Not that they become
women but they do all they can to be one.

jeaux90 · 22/10/2023 15:47

If my DP got breasts and his penis lopped off then I'd also not want to be with him anymore.

yogasaurus · 22/10/2023 15:47

What?!

Needmorelego · 22/10/2023 15:47

Well I am guessing he isn't sexually attracted to a penis 🤔

OhmygodDont · 22/10/2023 15:47

I mean his straight of course he wouldn’t want to be with you if you grew a penis 😂 I just asked dh and he laughed and said of course he wouldn’t either.

ClarkGablesMoustache · 22/10/2023 15:47

Mate, he’s not gay. He couldn’t change his sexual orientation in your mad hypothetical scenario.

FionnulaTheCooler · 22/10/2023 15:47

YABU. I'd leave my husband if he changed sex (not that it's possible, but hypothetically). Vaginas don't do it for me, as I'm sure penises don't for your husband.

ghostyslovesheets · 22/10/2023 15:47

Are you planning on growing a penis?

If not I am failing to see what the actual issue is

WanderingWitches · 22/10/2023 15:48

YABU. If your husband is not gay/bisexual, why would he want to be in a relationship with someone with a penis?

CaroleSinger · 22/10/2023 15:48

I'd be more concerned if he left but wanted you to remain a friend with benefits 😳

MinnieL · 22/10/2023 15:49

Why would he want to be with you if you had a penis? It would have been weird if he would have said he’d still be with you

bellac11 · 22/10/2023 15:51

I'd be really concerned if I said I was trans and wanted a sex change and my partner was still sexually attracted to me, it wouldnt make sense to me

I wouldnt be attracted to him as a woman

Patchworksack · 22/10/2023 15:52

YABU. If he is a straight man why would he want to be with someone with a penis - he’s saying if you were a man with your personality he’d like you but not fancy you.

Revenants · 22/10/2023 15:53

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong
It's swell to have a stiffy
It's divine to own a dick
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend
Your Percy, or your cock
You can wrap it up in ribbons
You can slip it in your sock
But don't take it out in public
Or they will stick you in the dock
And you won't come back!

Penis Song - Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

Subscribe to the Official Monty Python Channel here - http://smarturl.it/SubscribeToPythonPenis Song, taken from The Meaning of Life.Visit the official Monty...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9PiqCeLEmM

rocknrollaa · 22/10/2023 15:53

It's not his orientation to be attracted to someone with a penis.

Assuming you are heterosexual, would you stay with him if he suddenly had breasts and a vagina? (So basically became female?)

It's also such a weird hypothetical that it's kind of pointless to ask really, unless you are secretly trans and testing the waters about whether it's safe to come out to your husband.

If not, I don't really know why you'd ask the question tbh. Obviously it's an uncomfortable one for anyone who is not bisexual to answer.

OfficerChurlish · 22/10/2023 15:53

Depends on the circumstances to me. If the penis spontaneously generated, due to hypothetical medical condition or some sort of supernatural/divine/Greek-Gods-style intervention and you were seeking to understand what happened and ideally undo it, then I'd hope he'd at least try to support you through the immediate aftermath - although if he did eventually choose to leave that would have to be his choice. But if you intentionally grew your own penis, attached to your body - I can absolutely understand his considering that a dealbreaker, and it's fair enough for him to warn you now.

DinaofCloud9 · 22/10/2023 15:53

Weird question. Why would he still want to be with you?

Original poster
PunkyPatata · 22/10/2023 15:53

I mean if I still had both parts, just had a disorder where I grew one through no fault of my own.

OP posts:
Patchworksack · 22/10/2023 15:55

The famous Mumsnet ‘are you on glue?’ applies here.

rocknrollaa · 22/10/2023 15:55

PunkyPatata · 22/10/2023 15:53

I mean if I still had both parts, just had a disorder where I grew one through no fault of my own.

@PunkyPatata Why are you asking him this though?

Would you feel weird if he grew breasts?

LenBast · 22/10/2023 15:55

YABU. However if it actually happens and he does leave you then you wouldn't be unreasonable to be annoyed. Maybe cross that bridge when you come to it

margotrose · 22/10/2023 15:55

What a ridiculous thing to get upset about.

AlexaCanYouHearMe · 22/10/2023 15:55

Really......? Hmm

yogasaurus · 22/10/2023 15:56

PunkyPatata · 22/10/2023 15:53

I mean if I still had both parts, just had a disorder where I grew one through no fault of my own.

I’d leave someone who grew an imaginary penis