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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH says he’d leave me if I grew a penis - who’s BU?

157 replies

PunkyPatata · 22/10/2023 15:44

Lighthearted and I’ve NC’d for this thread.

DH (male) and I (female) were having a jokey discussion last night and I asked him if he’d leave me if I grew a penis… He said he would, although we could stay friends..

AIBU to be a bit annoyed that He’d leave me in this hypothetical situation?!

OP posts:
Rosscameasdoody · 22/10/2023 16:48

Lollypop701 · 22/10/2023 16:18

I’m in! how can I grow a penis? Is there a special beaker to grow this in? How do I attach it, is it removable, can I pick a size and width, do balls come with the penis or are they optional extras??? my dh might want a spare one so is it a BOGOF deal? So MANY questions op🤔

According to the writers of South Park you can grow your own penis on a laboratory mouse !!

Wiccan · 22/10/2023 16:48

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 22/10/2023 16:32

@BMW6 why must it grow in front of the vagina? Although in that case why stop at one? Two would surely be better, like a perverse handlebar?

Maybe it will erupt out of the belly button?

Yes and it could be called a " Raleigh Chopper " 😂

TheKeatingFive · 22/10/2023 16:49

just had a disorder where I grew one through no fault of my own.

Is this poster for real? 🫠

A 'disorder' where you grow a penis?!?!

thermalvestwearer · 22/10/2023 16:49

I learnt a maxim a long time ago. Never ask a question you don't know the answer to. Seems relevant here.

merrymelodies · 22/10/2023 16:49

Are you upset because you believed that your DH would love you unconditionally? Is this the real problem?

CyberCritical · 22/10/2023 16:49

We've had a similar hypothetical discussion with all the Trans Awareness stuff over the last few years. My DH was as surprised as you seem to be when I said that I'd have no interest in him as a spouse if he decided he is a woman. I'm straight and I married a man.

Wiccan · 22/10/2023 16:51

CyberCritical · 22/10/2023 16:49

We've had a similar hypothetical discussion with all the Trans Awareness stuff over the last few years. My DH was as surprised as you seem to be when I said that I'd have no interest in him as a spouse if he decided he is a woman. I'm straight and I married a man.

You're preaching to the choir there sister 😉

Thindog · 22/10/2023 16:51

Wasn’t there a documentary about a man who grew a penis on his arm? So if that happened you could just keep it up your sleeve, but make sure you always wear long sleeved nighties,

caringcarer · 22/10/2023 16:53

What odd conversations you have with your DH. 🤷

butterpuffed · 22/10/2023 16:54

Thindog · 22/10/2023 16:51

Wasn’t there a documentary about a man who grew a penis on his arm? So if that happened you could just keep it up your sleeve, but make sure you always wear long sleeved nighties,

I've heard of wearing your heart on your sleeve but not a penis !!

Chipperchopper · 22/10/2023 16:55

Someone needs to write this novel, I'd read it 😆

ForfarBridie · 22/10/2023 16:56

What kind of question was that?

Ilovelifeverymuch · 22/10/2023 16:56

PunkyPatata · 22/10/2023 15:44

Lighthearted and I’ve NC’d for this thread.

DH (male) and I (female) were having a jokey discussion last night and I asked him if he’d leave me if I grew a penis… He said he would, although we could stay friends..

AIBU to be a bit annoyed that He’d leave me in this hypothetical situation?!

You're joking right? Why would you growing a penis mean he has to change his sexual orientation?

willWillSmithsmith · 22/10/2023 16:58

This has got to be the stupidest thread I’ve seen in a while.

diamondpony80 · 22/10/2023 16:59

So if his penis fell off and he grew a vagina you'd be totally happy? What a weird conversation.

lemmein · 22/10/2023 17:00

This is the sort of question my DD pesters her poor DP about Grin

'Would you still love me if my nose fell off?!'

Wiccan · 22/10/2023 17:01

Chipperchopper · 22/10/2023 16:55

Someone needs to write this novel, I'd read it 😆

I think David Walliams might have already tried that 🤔🤮🤣

PastTheGin · 22/10/2023 17:01

Would he leave you if you turned into a cat, which is just as likely? YABU

Mothership4two · 22/10/2023 17:04

I know this is daft but a lot of posters seem to be assuming that if you grew a penis you would automatically become a man. You would be a woman with an extra appendage. You would still be you, so I can see why you might be a teeny tiny bit miffed. It was a silly jokey hypothetical and I wouldn't take his answer seriously. Would you leave him if he lost his penis in an accident? I wouldn't leave DH if that were the case.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 22/10/2023 17:05

Hmmmm. Would the appendage be on your head by any chance?

Play stupid games win stupid prizes

Rarely has this expression seemed so appropriate.

ClareBlue · 22/10/2023 17:05

Don't loose hope. He can't really know how he would feel until it happens, so my advice would be crack on with the Penis growth and you might be pleasantly surprised by his reaction. Especially if he is involved from birth to maturity, so to speak.

BMW6 · 22/10/2023 17:10

But if your penis grew bigger than his he would be pretty miffed I imagine.

Vegemiteandhoneyontoast · 22/10/2023 17:11

If you grew it from the base of your spine, you could tell people it was actually a tail. You'd probably have to put a covering of some sort over the top for that to be believed, though. A rummage in a few charity shops would do the trick, there's bound to be some fake fur you could utilise.

NalafromtheLionKing · 22/10/2023 17:12

I would be more worried if he didn’t say he would leave you in those circs (as that would suggest that he is attracted to men).

Original poster
PunkyPatata · 22/10/2023 17:13

BMW6 · 22/10/2023 16:29

Well if you grew a penis while keeping your vagina how would DH have sex with you? In the missionary position Your penis would get in the way, especially if you got a hard-on ( which I imagine you would).

Unless you only did it doggy style, then your willy would be out of the way (and out of sight, which would be helpful to DH I imagine).

You could go on top, so your penis wouldn't impede penetration, but then your penis (probably fully erect) would be in full view so would probably cause DH to lose his election, rendering intercourse impossible.

So your mythical penis would probably be the end of your sex life, or at least severely restrict it, whether DH objected or not.

What a dilemma.

Haha, brilliant, this is pretty much how he explained it 😂

OP posts:
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