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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH says he’d leave me if I grew a penis - who’s BU?

157 replies

PunkyPatata · 22/10/2023 15:44

Lighthearted and I’ve NC’d for this thread.

DH (male) and I (female) were having a jokey discussion last night and I asked him if he’d leave me if I grew a penis… He said he would, although we could stay friends..

AIBU to be a bit annoyed that He’d leave me in this hypothetical situation?!

OP posts:
Chilesstanton · 22/10/2023 15:56

Play stupid games win stupid prizes 🤷🏼‍♀️

JMSA · 22/10/2023 15:56

YABU!

ElleCapitaine · 22/10/2023 15:57

I asked my DP same question and he said it would be a massive turn off. I also asked him if he’d date a really hot trans woman and he said no, because they’d still smell like a man and feel like a man. He doesn’t find ‘maleness’ attractive.

AuroraForever · 22/10/2023 15:57

YBU and you know it! What if he’d said he wouldn’t mind?! I think you’d surely be more annoyed if he’d said that!

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 22/10/2023 15:58

If you are on drugs, you should come off them.

If you aren't, talk to your GP, because maybe you need some.

You're annoyed with him over a hypothetical extremely unlikely situation. I would leave you over such nonsensical behaviour, let alone the penis growth.

WeMustGetOffTheMountain · 22/10/2023 15:58

YABU. And slightly ridiculous. That's on par with the thread where someone's DH had been made to sleep on the sofa because the poster had a dream he slept with Princess Diana 😂

theduchessofspork · 22/10/2023 15:58

YABU clearly

so don’t do it 😁

theduchessofspork · 22/10/2023 16:00

OfficerChurlish · 22/10/2023 15:53

Depends on the circumstances to me. If the penis spontaneously generated, due to hypothetical medical condition or some sort of supernatural/divine/Greek-Gods-style intervention and you were seeking to understand what happened and ideally undo it, then I'd hope he'd at least try to support you through the immediate aftermath - although if he did eventually choose to leave that would have to be his choice. But if you intentionally grew your own penis, attached to your body - I can absolutely understand his considering that a dealbreaker, and it's fair enough for him to warn you now.

I hope you appreciate the thinking some PPs are putting into this OP

Burnoutwhat · 22/10/2023 16:01

I've actually asked my partner about this when we were having a conversation where I also asked would he be with a woman who was a man. He also said he'd leave but would support me and would want to stay friends. This is never gonna happen I'm not a fan of men. But I think it's fair enough, he's not attracted to men I can't expect that to change for me. So honestly I don't think you can legit be annoyed.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 22/10/2023 16:05

Why are you even asking him this question in the first place?!

Livelovebehappy · 22/10/2023 16:09

PunkyPatata · 22/10/2023 15:44

Lighthearted and I’ve NC’d for this thread.

DH (male) and I (female) were having a jokey discussion last night and I asked him if he’d leave me if I grew a penis… He said he would, although we could stay friends..

AIBU to be a bit annoyed that He’d leave me in this hypothetical situation?!

Weird question. It’s something that would never, ever happen, nor has it ever happened in the real world. I wouldn’t expect my dh to be thrilled if I grew a penis, and I’m pretty sure anyones dh who said they’d be okay with it are absolute liars…

funinthesun19 · 22/10/2023 16:10

He’s attracted to you as woman not a man. I think it’s really selfish and bizarre when trans people expect their partner/spouse to just pretend like nothing is different and life carries on as normal. Stupid thing to get upset about.

londonguild · 22/10/2023 16:10

I think this post is a joke about another Mumsnet post!

Mamma2017 · 22/10/2023 16:11

Why are people giving serious answers 🤣

MumblesParty · 22/10/2023 16:11

CaroleSinger · 22/10/2023 15:48

I'd be more concerned if he left but wanted you to remain a friend with benefits 😳

Where did OP say friends with benefits?
I took it to mean they’d stay friends but he wouldn’t want a sexual relationship with her because he’s not gay

VisionsOfSplendour · 22/10/2023 16:12

londonguild · 22/10/2023 16:10

I think this post is a joke about another Mumsnet post!

You'd hope so, no real person is that stupid ate they?

ShagratandGorbag4ever · 22/10/2023 16:13

If you were to grow a penis, you would probably get so rich from reality tv and other modern equivalents of the freak show that he wouldn't want to leave you.

Rosscameasdoody · 22/10/2023 16:13

That would entail him changing his sexual orientation surely ? I think yabu for even posing the question to him tbh.

MumblesParty · 22/10/2023 16:14

Are you seriously upset about this OP, or just taking the piss? Would you prefer him to say “yeah it would be great, we could have gay sex together”?

wildthingsinthenight · 22/10/2023 16:14

Well your husband is straight so has no interest in someone with a penis.
YABVU

FarEast · 22/10/2023 16:15

I’d feel the same if my partner tried to change sex, because
a) you can’t change sex, or grow a penis or a uterus (despite what India Willoughby thinks)
b) I’m exclusively opposite-sex attracted

Cornishprincess · 22/10/2023 16:16

I just asked DP. He's still laughing and asked if I'd gone mad...so yeah you might be bu.

Strawberryfieldsforeverrr · 22/10/2023 16:16

Oh god are you that poster who was mortally upset that your husband said he wouldn't fancy you if you were a ghost?

SeaPool · 22/10/2023 16:16

Where might you grow it?

pickledandpuzzled · 22/10/2023 16:16

I (f) grew a beard, and he grew moobs. We’re doing ok so far so your DH is being a bit unreasonable.

Id love to grow one, it would be so handy for picnics. It’s unfair of him to deny you the convenience!