DH says he’d leave me if I grew a penis - who’s BU?

[PunkyPatata]

Lighthearted and I’ve NC’d for this thread.

DH (male) and I (female) were having a jokey discussion last night and I asked him if he’d leave me if I grew a penis… He said he would, although we could stay friends..

AIBU to be a bit annoyed that He’d leave me in this hypothetical situation?!

Good Lord, could somebody link to this thread please 🙏🙏🙏

Say what? For real?
Some people are totally bonkers 🤪

I’m in! how can I grow a penis? Is there a special beaker to grow this in? How do I attach it, is it removable, can I pick a size and width, do balls come with the penis or are they optional extras??? my dh might want a spare one so is it a BOGOF deal? So MANY questions op🤔

My pony had this disorder you are talking about. He's now a unicorn dickhead. I'm not sure about him anymore either. He's free to a good home if there's any takers?

I’ve said yabu on the grounds of choosing to grow a hypothetical penis as it’s a big change on what your DH signed up for as it were🤣 & he wants to stay hypothetical friends so that’s a positive.
if though no fault of your own, I’m not sure, he should be there through it all good & bad, but it’s a big ask to expect him to share a bed with unanticipated body parts!!
interesting question though🤣

Would you not just nip and have it removed again? I realise I’m taking you ridiculously seriously, but you wouldn’t just leave a penis-sized wart to flop around aimlessly looking weird, would you?

Apologies to anyone who actually does have a penis-sized wart, that must be very unpleasant and not at all funny.

I'm on Team Husband. What you are proposing is a bit more radical than putting on a stone or getting a wart on your chin.

Surely it would depend on where you grew this penis and whether you were keeping it. Has he thought that if you could grow your own penis, you wouldn't need him anymore...

How do you think you could 'grow a penis' OP? I'm all ears.

Well I would find this quite comforting to know my husband wasn’t gay!

This is a lighthearted scenario! I once asked my bf if he’d still love me if I was a worm and was slightly offended when he said no. Of course that would be impossible and of course no one wants a relationship with a worm! But in these lighthearted conversations the only acceptable answer is “I’d love you no matter what” or something similar (while the answerer rolls their eyes).

OP unless you really are thinking of obtaining a penis, your partner is BU for not just playing along

It can't actually happen but if I did grow a penis , the next time my husband tells me
" go fuck yourself " I will be able to 🤣🤣

Well, how did you grow all your ears?

😂😂😂

Well if you grew a penis while keeping your vagina how would DH have sex with you? In the missionary position Your penis would get in the way, especially if you got a hard-on ( which I imagine you would).

Unless you only did it doggy style, then your willy would be out of the way (and out of sight, which would be helpful to DH I imagine).

You could go on top, so your penis wouldn't impede penetration, but then your penis (probably fully erect) would be in full view so would probably cause DH to lose his election, rendering intercourse impossible.

So your mythical penis would probably be the end of your sex life, or at least severely restrict it, whether DH objected or not.

What a dilemma.

Such a stupid AIBU I can’t be arsed answering

I think it depends where you grew it.

As long as you can cover it up and it doesn’t stop you having a job, how much harm could it do? Don’t forget it’s likely to become saggy as you age but there is always the option of laser removal.

Hopefully you have the option to choose what style and size you want. It will be tender to begin with but settle down in time.

I mean so far it’s exactly the same as getting a tattoo. Tell your DH he should Live Laugh Love a bit more.

I think I'd leave someone who got annoyed with me about fantastical things they have imagined.

@BMW6 why must it grow in front of the vagina? Although in that case why stop at one? Two would surely be better, like a perverse handlebar?

Maybe it will erupt out of the belly button?

How crazy but I had the same discussion last night 🤣🤣 Mine would leave me too.

😆

My DH would leave me if I grew a moustache never mind a penis.

What????

I'd leave you for asking ridiculous questions and being unreasonable when receiving reasonable answers.

Luckily he's not me. So that's a plus.

I think you should leave him first. Right now. The nerve of him.

🤣😆🤣😆🤣😆