aibu to not breastfeed just beacuse i dont want to?

[lunalovegrooove]

I understand breast is best, but I don't want to do it.
I feel pressure and the implication that I am a bad mother. I think I have the right to choose, and that the medical establishment doesn't expect something this taxing from men in society.

Am I a bad mother?

Sadly not always my mums oldest brother died in the 1930,s at two.weeks old because c my Grandma,wasn't producing enough milk, she bottle fed her three subsequent children
And I thought wet nurses were more used for wealthy women who didn't want to.feed their Breast feed themselves ?

Even if it was cheaper than formula, which it wouldn't be. I would still opt for formula.

Same when it comes to donated breast milk.

One thing I will ask. If you've never tried it how would you know you'd hate it?

It's like saying I don't want to try that new food I won't like it. You don't know till you try it.

Yep! Like I said breastfeeding mams need more help.

Doesn't matter.

If someone doesn't want to try something that's fine and it doesn't mean anyone gets to try and pressure them into trying it.

Women didn't have so much trouble breastfeeding before they were told that breast milk was inferior to the formula

Where is your evidence for that statement?

For the same reason I know I wouldn't like skydiving. You really can't think of something you would never do?

Practical reasons too. For example, this time I'm having twins and whilst I know it's possible to breastfeed twins, it's obviously harder and I see no need to make what will already be a difficult transition even more difficult for myself or my DS who I also need to consider.

No pressure here. Was just curious. Ya see I'm someone who always tries things. To see if I like it or not.

Fair enough

Of course; what family wants their baby in the arns and on the breast of another woman who's not part of their family for the amount of time it takes to breast feed - especially things like cluster feeding and night feeding.

Also the wet nurse would need to live in and be around nearly all the time , like an au pair.
Again. - a rich persons thing, not an average person's.

The only way it would work would be expressed milk and then you'd create an under class of poorer women milking themselves like dairy cows. And again, do they have enough for their own kids as well as their clients?

And the poorer women are the ones risking mastitis etc.

What happens when they become dependent on that income and their supply dwindles or they have mastitis etc.

The idea is preposterous.

It would only work if entirely voluntary/charitable and virtually noone has time for that. Women like that are already donating to milk banks for preme babies. There's not enough for masses of babies.

I know because the very idea of having my boobs sucked gives me the ick.

Congratulations on the twin pregnancy. DT’s are brilliant although mine are now in their early 20’s - DD living in Brussels and DS in Amsterdam.

Me too. That doesn't mean I get to question those who don't.

In your opinion. Not in the PPs. And when it comes to the PPs body and what she does with it, hers is the only opinion that matters. Yours is irrelevant.

Might not be for you but is for the poster - are their concerns not relevant?

This too.

Also, not sharing feeds without needing to use a pump
The risk of baby refusing a bottle so being the only one responsible for feeding would fill me with dread
Not able to get back to work when I want.

You do know I'm not you right? Just because you're ok with it it doesn't mean everyone is.

Thanks! So much for only having 1 more 😅

DS is only turning 1 in December and DT's are due in April so it's going to be an...interesting ride.

Women didn't have so much trouble breastfeeding before they were told that breast milk was inferior to the formula

That must explain the long history of attempts at breast milk substitutes, accelerated weaning (and infant deaths if those didn't work) before formula was developed.

You have a chicken and egg with formula. One of the reasons formula was developed was a genuine desire on medical staff's part to help babies and mothers with feeding difficulties.

You only see the fact that it became a product, not that there was a long established need for it.

You're one of these people who simplistically believes that because something is "natural" everyone can do it and it always works .... But birth is "natural" and yet resulted in large numbers of maternal and infant deaths before modern medicine.

Nature doesn't care if everyone survives, only that enough animals in a species do. And sometimes not even then.

Tell him when he carries a baby for 9 months them he can decide to have them latched on to his chest for another 6, otherwise he can keep his opinion to himself and inform his mother to do the same. Point out that with formula he will get more cuddles with baby as the baby will not constantly be attached to your for feeding. He also can have the full parenting experience of night feeds. If his mother carries on just tell her your anemic and with your iron levels so low it was not recommended. It's what I did with my eldest when his useless father and grandmother kept telling me what to do, like popping in for an hour every 2 weeks made him a parent.

I wish you good luck. May the odds be in your favour. 😀

I was forced to breastfeed for nearly three friggin years because no one ever warned me how hard it is to get a child off the breast once established. It was draining and made my hypermobility worse...which I also wasn't made aware of prior to choosing to breastfeed.

All the benefits of bf are pushed on a mum in the hospital but no-one ever warns a mum of the actual reality of breastfeeding to allow them to make an informed choice.

Now my daughter lives on a sustained diet of nuggets, oven chips and pizza, as per the norms of society- so really was it worth all that aggro??

If breast is best then why aren't we pushing for healthy children's food options in affordable eateries and all nursery packed lunches, so they don't see these foods and think they're the norm.

The contradictions of society are amazing.

Don't let anyone tell you what to do with your body. Next time anyone comes at you, ask them if their diet is packed with whole foods, unprocessed organic vegetables, super foods, hand reared meat etc....at every meal. And if not ask them why? The answer will be- because of cost and convenience.

Totally agree with this!

Not doing anything of the sort. They do need to learn to read...