Page 36 | aibu to not breastfeed just beacuse i dont want to?

lunalovegrooove · 2023-10-21T08:34:05+00:00

I understand breast is best, but I don't want to do it. I feel pressure and the implication that I am a bad mother. I think I have the right to choose, and that the medical establishment doesn't expect something this taxing from men in society. Am I a bad mother?

Housesellingnightmare · 22/10/2023 10:04

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TawnyLarue · 22/10/2023 10:05

Och let the breastfeeding mafia froth themselves into a state over other peoples choices. Ignore them. Their lives are so small.

it is such a minuscule part of parenting. No one gives a fuck by the time they’re like 3.

ginandtonicwithlimes · 22/10/2023 10:06

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Warum · 22/10/2023 10:06

Ssme92 · 22/10/2023 09:58

I've read all 35 pages and haven't found anything said against BF mothers? I've read comments said directly to posters who happened to breastfeed in retaliation to vile comments they have made!
But I have read comments suggesting mothers who chose to formula feed are ignorant, selfish, uneducated, bad mothers, terrible parents... The list goes on!

Really?
It maybe depends on perspective, or perhaps some of the comments have been deleted/reported.
There were a lot of negatuve comments.

Warum · 22/10/2023 10:08

Doteycat · 22/10/2023 10:03

And you need to learn to stop being patronising.
That is the second if not third time you have accused people hear of not being able to read.
Could you be any more condescending.
Although I suspect you could.

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Meanwhile you are telling me I'm incorrect (because we dont agree on something) and that I don't deserve respect?

Pot and kettle springs to mind.

Housesellingnightmare · 22/10/2023 10:08

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SouthLondonMum22 · 22/10/2023 10:09

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SIDS is incredibly rare. Not because of breastfeeding since most babies are soon moved to formula feeding but because of big movements such as the back to sleep campaign which halved the SIDS deaths if I remember rightly.

Breastfeeding does reduce the risk but it’s minimal and obviously you can do other things that have a bigger impact such as always putting baby to sleep on their backs.

Warum · 22/10/2023 10:09

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There have been negative posts about BFing, definitely.

Parker231 · 22/10/2023 10:10

TawnyLarue · 22/10/2023 10:05

Och let the breastfeeding mafia froth themselves into a state over other peoples choices. Ignore them. Their lives are so small.

it is such a minuscule part of parenting. No one gives a fuck by the time they’re like 3.

Exactly - no one will know or care how you have fed your baby. I chose to use formula - perfect for healthy babies and happy parents. I know I’m not a selfish parent so I know I made the right decision without any guilt or concerns.

Ssme92 · 22/10/2023 10:10

@Warum but yet you can't give any example of where a negative comment was made about breastfeeding? 🙈

Robinni · 22/10/2023 10:10

SouthLondonMum22 · 22/10/2023 09:49

and it definitely won’t be practical this time with twins thrown in there as well.

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Huge congratulations!!

Are you taking more maternity leave this time?

My friend has twins and breast fed, though her older children were in school/day care. So it is doable.

But the issue would be the 3 month maternity leave.

If you start on breast feeding and then swap to expressed or formula for going back to work it could be tricky. The babies might refuse the bottle entirely and too young for cows milk, not weaned…. I would find that really stressful personally.

Anyway, enjoy.

Hope all goes well for the birth 💐

Doteycat · 22/10/2023 10:10

Warum · 22/10/2023 10:08

Meanwhile you are telling me I'm incorrect (because we dont agree on something) and that I don't deserve respect?

Pot and kettle springs to mind.

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No I told you that you are incorrect because you are.

LunaMay · 22/10/2023 10:11

Robinni · 22/10/2023 09:05

@LunaMay

To be fair I had a surgery - which led to combi feeding at 6m, then major bereavement at 9m which dried up milk entirely….

I would rather of had the boob as you can just stick it in, use it as comfort for baby etc.

The bottles, “oh we’ve almost run out of formula” drama, all of that, was just another thing to do and didn’t want any of it.

Though it did mean I was able to have other relatives baby sit which at the time was much needed… though I would rather of been with baby myself and not have had the circumstances leading to needing the help if that makes sense!

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Of course it makes sense, i'm sorry you weren't able to bf as long as you would have liked. I would hope no one judged you for having to do what you had to do for you and baby.

Don't know how long ago it was but hope things are looking up.

RampantIvy · 22/10/2023 10:12

OK. I'll bite.

@lunalovegrooove why did you post such a goady post? You know perfectly well that there is always a fight about this subject.

Are you sitting there with your popcorn watching it all unfold?

Do what you want. It's your body and your baby.

ZebraDanios · 22/10/2023 10:13

Re: negative comments about breastfeeding mothers - I think what might have happened is there have been posts that were intended to be directed at particular posters but as the original post/poster wasn’t mentioned or quoted it could be interpreted as a generalisation about all BF mothers.

Alondra · 22/10/2023 10:14

Good grief, what has happened to women having the choice to make their own decision if they want to breastfeed or not?

Most infants in the UK, like the rest of the developed world, will get the first immunisation vaccines shots from 6 weeks old to protect them from infectious diseases. Formulas have also come a long way, same as equipment sterilisation.

If a mother feels more comfortable and settled with formula, the baby will also be more settled because they won't feel the anxiety.

It's 2023. Some women can breastfeed, some can't. Some women want to breastfeed, some don't. It's a woman's decision.

MrsSkylerWhite · 22/10/2023 10:14

SouthLondonMum22
**
SIDS is incredibly rare. Not because of breastfeeding since most babies are soon moved to formula feeding but because of big movements such as the back to sleep campaign which halved the SIDS deaths if I remember rightly.
**
Breastfeeding does reduce the risk but it’s minimal and obviously you can do other things that have a bigger impact such as always putting baby to sleep on their backs.”

Absolutely, sleeping is a far bigger factor in SIDS, though as you say still incredibly rare in the Western World these days, thankfully. It was far more likely nearly 30 years ago when our first was little. There was a big move to eliminate substances such as antimony from mattresses, which cut rates significantly.

Trying to scare women who chose to ff with the threat of SIDS is just as low as calling them bad mothers.

Warum · 22/10/2023 10:15

ZebraDanios · 22/10/2023 10:13

Re: negative comments about breastfeeding mothers - I think what might have happened is there have been posts that were intended to be directed at particular posters but as the original post/poster wasn’t mentioned or quoted it could be interpreted as a generalisation about all BF mothers.

Perhaps, but I definitely did read posts which came over as derogatory toward BFing/BFing mothers.

SouthLondonMum22 · 22/10/2023 10:16

Robinni · 22/10/2023 10:10

Huge congratulations!!

Are you taking more maternity leave this time?

My friend has twins and breast fed, though her older children were in school/day care. So it is doable.

But the issue would be the 3 month maternity leave.

If you start on breast feeding and then swap to expressed or formula for going back to work it could be tricky. The babies might refuse the bottle entirely and too young for cows milk, not weaned…. I would find that really stressful personally.

Anyway, enjoy.

Hope all goes well for the birth 💐

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Thanks!

No. I’ll be going back at 3 months again.

Like I said, it would be even less practical this time and formula feeding has worked well with DS so I’ll stick with what has worked.

Cowlover89 · 22/10/2023 10:16

Alondra · 22/10/2023 10:14

Good grief, what has happened to women having the choice to make their own decision if they want to breastfeed or not?

Most infants in the UK, like the rest of the developed world, will get the first immunisation vaccines shots from 6 weeks old to protect them from infectious diseases. Formulas have also come a long way, same as equipment sterilisation.

If a mother feels more comfortable and settled with formula, the baby will also be more settled because they won't feel the anxiety.

It's 2023. Some women can breastfeed, some can't. Some women want to breastfeed, some don't. It's a woman's decision.

It's 8 weeks when they get the first vaccines

Warum · 22/10/2023 10:17

Doteycat · 22/10/2023 10:10

No I told you that you are incorrect because you are.

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You think I'm incorrect - it isn't factual information, it's your opinion.

Doteycat · 22/10/2023 10:19

And again you are incorrect.
Are you bored of it yet.

theprincessthepea · 22/10/2023 10:19

This thread has been:

A BF mum comments and shares their opinion/experience. A FF mum replies degrading the BFs mums experience as they believe FF is best.

A FF mum comments and shares their opinion/experience. A BF mum replies degrading the FFS mums experience as they believe BF is best.

Very annoying.

Let people tell their damn story!!

As someone that has combi fed (and has had my earlier post completely misread because it seemed to have triggered emotions - despite the fact I had a hard time with both BF and FF but also BF and FF were needed for my baby and situation at the time for different reasons).

Why can’t we just accept that as mothers and women we have CHOICE!

We have been fighting to change the perception of BF in public. Now it’s a norm.

We have been fighting for more options than BF and access to FF for those of us that need it (and now want it). This is now a norm.

Whatever you choose. As a mum. We will spend our lifetimes juggling decisions that are best for our babies/child, ourselves and our families. All dependent on preferences and circumstances. Which surprise - isn’t the same for everyone.

Alondra · 22/10/2023 10:19

Cowlover89 · 22/10/2023 10:16

It's 8 weeks when they get the first vaccines

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In Australia, is from 6 weeks. Let's not create drama because of a couple of weeks. It was not what I was trying to say.

Robinni · 22/10/2023 10:20

Ssme92 · 22/10/2023 10:10

@Warum but yet you can't give any example of where a negative comment was made about breastfeeding? 🙈

@Ssme92

There have been comments all along

Breastfeeding

draining/exhausting/painful
bad for mental health
mum’s aren’t happy
mum’s have no freedom/life
mum’s are tired
dismissal of scientific evidence
dismissal of the effort mum’s put in (saying it’s pointless and no benefit)
dad’s don’t contribute etc

Formula feeding

bottles are a faff
mum’s aren’t following the health advice for baby re. Bf (immune development, gut microbiota, decreased risk of cancer/obesity/diabetes etc in child, decreased risk of cancer in mum)

As far as it goes the argument against breast feeding is that Mum’s aren’t doing enough to take care of themselves, and against formula feeding is that Mum’s aren’t doing enough to take care of the baby.

It will be a 40 page job thread because people feel passionately… I am 10pgs behind reading 😂😂