Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shop came while WFH

267 replies

Kiopa · 20/10/2023 13:55

I realise this is a ridiculous thing to be arguing about but interested in opinions of whose in the wrong here.

A orders the food shop to come 10-11am. B is working at home at that time. A expects to be home by 10 but ends up running late by 15 minutes. The shop arrives at 10am and B has to take it in and put the frozen things away. A puts the rest away. A says they would have messaged B that the shop was coming but normally this supermarket sends a text 15 mins before they arrive and they didn't this time. B thinks A was inconsiderate not to let them know the shop might come before they were home.

A and B are now in a stand off as B won't let it go until A apologises for being inconsiderate and A doesn't accept that they were inconsiderate.

YABU - A is in the worng
YANBU - B is in the wrong

If you can't tell we're both extremely stubborn.

OP posts:
OldTinHat · 20/10/2023 18:06

I think both of you should sit on the naughty stair, have a consider, and then just get on.

porridgeisbae · 20/10/2023 18:09

I think A should've let B know.

GreekDogRescue · 20/10/2023 18:10

B is male, lol

DragonFly98 · 20/10/2023 18:20

B did not need to bring the shopping inside frozen food is fine for 15 mins in this weather x

Twilight7777 · 20/10/2023 18:25

If B was in an important meeting at that time and had to interrupt it then YABU, if they were just doing normal work then YANBU

anon0007 · 20/10/2023 18:27

B needs to get a grip.

notamilf · 20/10/2023 20:19

Meanwhile, in other parts of the world.....

melj1213 · 20/10/2023 21:25

Whilst it was a total overreaction on both parts I do think these kinds of issues are why people think those who work from home take the piss sometimes "just popping to collect the shopping delivery" in the middle of their work day is not something that would happen on the office so it shouldn't happen when WFH.

Even if it "only" takes 5 mins - and it really doesn't take that little time, when you factor in answering the door, confirming the delivery, emptying the totes (and waiting for them all to be brought to the door depending on the size of the delivery), taking everything in and putting away the fridge/frozen stuff at least etc then you're looking at more like 10/15 mins as a minimum - that's 5 minutes that he wasn't expecting to be away from his desk at that particular time because he had received no warning that the delivery was due at that time.

He didn't know the food delivery was happening so when he heard the bell/knock then he probably thought it was a parcel or possibly the OP had forgotten their key so stepping away from his desk was going to be a minute or two disruption so perhaps he was happy to just step away for a couple of minutes without comment but had he known he'd be away from his desk for 10-15 minutes he would have done things differently - eg marking himself busy on any call systems; informing a colleague he's in a chat with that he'll be busy for a few minutes; turning on his answerphone etc - and all it would have needed was to have been forewarned that the grocery delivery was possibly going to be delivered.

MagicFarawayTea · 21/10/2023 17:25

OneTC · 20/10/2023 13:57

Pointless bollocks

This

MustWeDoThis · 21/10/2023 17:58

A was inconsiderate, B is being petulant.

A&B need to apologise to one another. Equally so.

I would also ask B if they will be eating the food they are whining about?

gotomomo · 21/10/2023 18:03

Silly thing to argue over but I'm kind of with b - wfh means work, not answer door, put shopping away etc. if dp works and I'm here (not common as I work in the office usually) from home I don't see him from 9 until lunch, then rarely in the pm though he'll sometimes take a tea break

Toomuchtrouble4me · 21/10/2023 18:37

A should have given B warning as B is working.

Rhubarbx1 · 21/10/2023 18:49

This!

A and B both need to get a grip.

Middleagedspreadisreal · 21/10/2023 18:52

Yawn

pythonny · 21/10/2023 18:56

I knew you were A from the very first post! Because you said "running late" not "was late" (former sounds better), and said B was just "working at home at that time" which sounds a bit lax and not like what B would say

ThisIsntThe80sPat · 21/10/2023 19:12

What a thing to argue about. DH regularly brings in the shop and puts away frozen things and chilled if I'm not there and he's WFH. It takes 5 minutes and he sees it as stretching his legs

DungballInADress · 21/10/2023 19:19

Hidden option C - ESH (Everyone Sucks Here)

Let it go. The shopping got delivered, the frozen stuff got put away, nobody died.

Katywester · 21/10/2023 19:28

I think A & B needs to get a grip of reality.
to actually come on here to ask this question and even spend time on this is ridiculous.

how do people have head space to even think about this kind of thing!!!

Zerosleep · 21/10/2023 19:34

I wish this was all I had to worry about in my life, I would be living the dream….

Nowherenew · 21/10/2023 19:35

I’m quite surprised by some of these replies tbh.

B sounds like they completely overreacted.

A should not have been home late but these things happen.

Its not As fault that they didn’t send a text.

I suppose A could have sent a text saying they’d be late but there was no point if the shopping wasn’t due (or so they thought because they hadn’t had the text yet).

He should have been the one to apologise to you first.

PoliticallyIncorrectHitchling · 21/10/2023 19:38

B is being a dick and A needs to divorce them, this does not seem like a good relationship

Fionaville · 21/10/2023 19:40

B needs to get a grip and realise A can't control every single thing. I'm sure B would soon be moaning if there was no shopping in for the weekend.

MrsMrsD · 21/10/2023 19:45

B needs to have a word with themselves. 2 minutes, if that, to put freezer stuff away is hardly a huge distraction. I'm sure they think they're very important at work but doubt they'd be missed for 2 minutes.

MysteryBelle · 21/10/2023 20:02

If B had a business call with colleagues at 10am then maybe he has a point. Otherwise, this is all a bunch of petty foolish fluff that doesn’t matter. B should be thankful that he gets to work from home and that the groceries get delivered without him having to do anything except put frozen stuff in the freezer. Big whoop.

Bellyblueboy · 21/10/2023 20:07

It depends.

working from home means different things depending on the job.

if you are in an important meeting, on a one to one call, delivering a presentation, teaching a class you can’t excuse yourself to put away a grocery shop - it’s highly unprofessional and to be frank to shop would get ignored.

if you are writing a report or managing emails etc with no meeting scheduled then it’s no big deal.

I could be doing either - presenting online to 200 people or just catching up on emails.