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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shop came while WFH

267 replies

Kiopa · 20/10/2023 13:55

I realise this is a ridiculous thing to be arguing about but interested in opinions of whose in the wrong here.

A orders the food shop to come 10-11am. B is working at home at that time. A expects to be home by 10 but ends up running late by 15 minutes. The shop arrives at 10am and B has to take it in and put the frozen things away. A puts the rest away. A says they would have messaged B that the shop was coming but normally this supermarket sends a text 15 mins before they arrive and they didn't this time. B thinks A was inconsiderate not to let them know the shop might come before they were home.

A and B are now in a stand off as B won't let it go until A apologises for being inconsiderate and A doesn't accept that they were inconsiderate.

YABU - A is in the worng
YANBU - B is in the wrong

If you can't tell we're both extremely stubborn.

OP posts:
SillyAutomatic · 20/10/2023 15:36

B wouldn't like it where I live, the grocery slots are meaningless, they just come at a point where it makes sense on their round. Can be five hours early/late. To be fair, most people wouldn't like that either, such is the way of it in the Highlands, though.

Mostlyoblivious · 20/10/2023 15:36

Don’t book a shop for when you’re not there.

You both need to communicate but taking frozen in is not a huge deal at all. Think of it as a screen break / walk around the office / cigarette break / loo break / tea break / whatever break as really really really it is not a big deal (!!)

Also, if the supermarket did not text then I don’t understand how A is in the wrong by not communicating to B that the shop was coming prior to their return.

Sounds like B has beef with A and both need to communicate with each other.

Barney60 · 20/10/2023 15:36

Both as bad as each other, A should of let B know running late just in case shopping arrived at 10, which it did, B needs to just get over it , hardly a major life changing thing, just throw frozen stuff into the freezer, leave rest till A gets home, it would take roughly same time as to go to the toilet so work would be none the wiser.

saoirse31 · 20/10/2023 15:37

Get a life, both A and B.

2023shady · 20/10/2023 15:37

thequeenoftarts · 20/10/2023 15:33

Unless B was doing cpr then there is nothing that cant be stopped for 5 - 10 mins in life

Of course there is
If you're ringing a company and they put you on hold to unload their food shop you're not going to be too happy are you!
I'm working, I can't answer the door

bathrobeandpie · 20/10/2023 15:38

MargotBamborough · 20/10/2023 15:30

If you were my husband and you said that to me I would tell you to do the food shopping instead then.

Show quote history

Fine, but then I"ll book the delivery for a time that actually suits me 😂

Thankfully I don't have a husband who assume it's fine for me to drop everything because my job "is not important".

bathrobeandpie · 20/10/2023 15:40

TheresaBouvey · 20/10/2023 15:29

Pointless bollox indeed

insisting someone apologise is always such a weird thing only a very insecure controlling person would do

if your relationship cannot survive such tiny hiccups it was not meant to be maybe?

I am not sure a petty squabble over a minor disruption is the beginning of divorce proceedings 😂

PoloMintRoll · 20/10/2023 15:41

A is in the wrong, as B was busy working and may have been on a call or in the middle of something.

If A had warned B it would have been more respectful. I'd be annoyed if I'd been A.

VWdieselnightmare · 20/10/2023 15:43

Thumbs down to B and no dinner for him this evening.

Universalsnail · 20/10/2023 15:45

I think B needs to get a grip

MargotBamborough · 20/10/2023 15:45

bathrobeandpie · 20/10/2023 15:38

Fine, but then I"ll book the delivery for a time that actually suits me 😂

Thankfully I don't have a husband who assume it's fine for me to drop everything because my job "is not important".

Show quote history

I don't think anybody has said anybody else's job is "not important", have they?

The OP's husband was, as it turned out, not on a call, and taking in the shopping was a minor inconvenience for him. He has admitted that he overreacted.

Organising the shop probably took the OP a lot longer than it took him to put just the frozen stuff away, so he should be thanking her really.

Cakeandcardio · 20/10/2023 15:47

Maybe A should have let B know but there was a clear reason they didn't this time. Did A plan all the meals, organise the shop and do they then cook the meals? I suspect so. B seems like a right pedantic arse.

OhDoSitDownAndShutUp · 20/10/2023 15:47

AlexaCanYouHearMe · 20/10/2023 14:03

What a utterly pointless and pathetic argument. Have you (both) got nothing better to do? Hmm

That. How very childish A and B must be.

notacooldad · 20/10/2023 15:49

You're at stale mate over this!
🤣🤣
Ffs!

Calvinlookingforhobbes · 20/10/2023 15:50

A and B are both wrong to think this is what a relationship should look like. Run! Fast.

Theunamedcat · 20/10/2023 15:50

When you are working from home the emphasis should be on WORKING not home chores

TerrorAustralis · 20/10/2023 15:51

ilovesooty · 20/10/2023 15:16

No I didn't. I was talking about different types of work in general. Some WFH situations simply don't have interruptions as a possibility.

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Sorry, I didn’t realise this thread was about people telling us about their very important jobs, and not the OPs actual circumstances.

ilovesooty · 20/10/2023 15:51

thequeenoftarts · 20/10/2023 15:33

Unless B was doing cpr then there is nothing that cant be stopped for 5 - 10 mins in life

Yes there is.

MrsMurphyIWish · 20/10/2023 15:52

Theunamedcat · 20/10/2023 15:50

When you are working from home the emphasis should be on WORKING not home chores

I was just going to post something similar. Surely the question should be, “AIBU to have a food shop come when I should be working?”

(but I’m a jealous and tired teacher and have another week left to half term so I’m probably being petty!)

ilovesooty · 20/10/2023 15:56

TerrorAustralis · 20/10/2023 15:51

Sorry, I didn’t realise this thread was about people telling us about their very important jobs, and not the OPs actual circumstances.

Show quote history

Your apology is noted 😂

IncompleteSenten · 20/10/2023 15:58

Why does one of them have to be right and the other wrong?

A should have let b know and b shouldn't have made a huge deal over it.

'Fault' on both sides.

Boska23 · 20/10/2023 15:58

Passepartoute · 20/10/2023 15:01

Why? If a shop turned up when I was in a meeting, I would just excuse myself, open the door and take the stuff in, and go back to my meeting. I'm afraid I would just have to let frozen stuff take its chances.

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Because it is unprofessional to interrupt the meeting to handle domestic, non-urgent matters?

MargotBamborough · 20/10/2023 15:59

MrsMurphyIWish · 20/10/2023 15:52

I was just going to post something similar. Surely the question should be, “AIBU to have a food shop come when I should be working?”

(but I’m a jealous and tired teacher and have another week left to half term so I’m probably being petty!)

Show quote history

People taking five minutes out of their working day to take in a food shop are freeing up slots for people who can't WFH to have their shopping delivered outside of normal working hours.

BerriesNutsConkers · 20/10/2023 15:59

A should have mentioned to B that the shopping was due, especially as they were running late!

Wetblanket78 · 20/10/2023 16:00

Does it matter A was there to take the shopping in and put the most important freezer stuff away. B was late home so if A wasn't there the shopping would go back to the supermarket. Stop moaning about menial shit and get a life.