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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shop came while WFH

267 replies

Kiopa · 20/10/2023 13:55

I realise this is a ridiculous thing to be arguing about but interested in opinions of whose in the wrong here.

A orders the food shop to come 10-11am. B is working at home at that time. A expects to be home by 10 but ends up running late by 15 minutes. The shop arrives at 10am and B has to take it in and put the frozen things away. A puts the rest away. A says they would have messaged B that the shop was coming but normally this supermarket sends a text 15 mins before they arrive and they didn't this time. B thinks A was inconsiderate not to let them know the shop might come before they were home.

A and B are now in a stand off as B won't let it go until A apologises for being inconsiderate and A doesn't accept that they were inconsiderate.

YABU - A is in the worng
YANBU - B is in the wrong

If you can't tell we're both extremely stubborn.

OP posts:
piscofrisco · 20/10/2023 16:05

B is being precious then if they weren't on a call at 10.

Conkersinautumn · 20/10/2023 16:06

A and B need to be more grateful that's this is apparently the biggest drama in their lives. They sound miserable sods

bathrobeandpie · 20/10/2023 16:08

Conkersinautumn · 20/10/2023 16:06

A and B need to be more grateful that's this is apparently the biggest drama in their lives. They sound miserable sods

they are not the only one 😂

HaplessRhombus · 20/10/2023 16:20

A ideally would have texted but I can see why they didn't. If they always get a text 15 minutes before the van arrives, it's not unreasonable for them to assume today would be the same and that the van would arrive after they got home. B is massively overreacting to their partner making a reasonable mistake if they genuinely "won't let this go".

A is being petty if they won't acknowledge that in future they should send a text. B is being incredibly petty if that wouldn't be good enough for them and they want A to explicitly grovel and call themselves inconsiderate.

zingally · 20/10/2023 16:26

B is being a knob. It's a food shop of food they are (presumably) going to eat, and it cost them, what? 5 minutes to take it in and pop a few bits in the freezer.
They should be grateful that A even bothered to organise it at all.

PeskyPotato · 20/10/2023 16:26

B is a knob but seriously if this is what you worry and stress about your life is golden

MatildaonMain · 20/10/2023 16:28

B is being U and a bit of an arsehole for making such a big deal out of such a tiny and understanding mix up. What a daft thing to have an argument over! It shouldn’t ever have come to that!

BardRelic · 20/10/2023 16:33

B needs to learn to say 'I'm really upset about X' before going off on a rant about Y.

A and B both need to watch Frozen, or Big Bang Theory

Let It Go - The Big Bang Theory

Sheldon and Penny - Let It Go!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lT0nDLCmV6s

Dustybarn · 20/10/2023 16:47

Is B eating the food too? If so B is being very precious.

BotterMon · 20/10/2023 16:52

First world problems par excellence - are you both toddlers? Actually scrap that, it's insulting to toddlers.

Thundercnut · 20/10/2023 16:52

Kiopa · 20/10/2023 14:21

For all the people saying about Bs important job, they regularly take in parcels, do chores in breaks while wfh (as do I).

A and B both need to go back to the office along with a billion other people who are "working" from home.

Takacupokindnessyet · 20/10/2023 16:54

A should have warned shopping was due but B is ridiculous to argue over it.

Jewelspun · 20/10/2023 16:57

B is being petty.

Viviennemary · 20/10/2023 17:06

I don't think either of you are right or wrong. If this trivial stuff causes a big argument ,maybe it's time to call it a day.

Neriah · 20/10/2023 17:12

Can I have a c? You're both being bloody ridiculous.

SunshineAutumnday · 20/10/2023 17:22

My DH WFH -has for 3 years, it was never discussed and I'm not keen on it.
I work very hard in public facing role and want my days off to be quite, but due to DH WFH it's often filled with calls etc - which is in our living as that where he decided his office should be (not discussed).

So the odd parcel, food shop should be ok.

I think B overacted and no apolgy need - but this based on WFH feelings as explained above.

Suchapain · 20/10/2023 17:26

B is at work and should not be expected to break off unless it's an emergency. A should have arranged the delivery to come later or made sure they were home in time. A should make a grovelling apology.

Unless there's a big back story like B often interrupts A when A is trying to work etc.

Verbena17 · 20/10/2023 17:27

If B wasn’t in a meeting/have something super urgent to get done in those 15 mins, then B is being an arse.

pleasehelpwi3 · 20/10/2023 17:27

And in Gaza today.....and Israel last week....

Harrysmummy246 · 20/10/2023 17:29

Our shop arrives in same slot every week. Which is in the shared google calendar. But if one was ordering and the other would be WFH, they'd be told it might come (and ask if any calls were likely too)

stayathomer · 20/10/2023 17:31

I probably didnt need to post on mumsnet but it helped me feel a bit more objective about the situation.
mn wouldn’t be mn if people didn’t post! Great it got sorted op

DelphiniumBlue · 20/10/2023 17:33

Surely B knows when the shopping is due?? Are they making a big point here?
If A arranged the shopping to to be delivered at a time to suit themselves, they should have been in, but being delayed by 10 mins is hardly a big deal. It would have been helpful for them to call to tell B to answer the door.
If B is expected to take the shopping in, then it would be polite to arrange it at a time that suits B. If B had known A was only 10 minutes away then they wouldn't have had to put the shopping away.
Counsel of perfection is that the shopping is ordered for a time that works for everyone concerned, and that everyone is notified when to expect it - I send all the adults in my house a copy of the order, partly so that they can add things to it if they need to. Homeworking DS is expected to take the shopping in, but I agree a delivery slot with him before confirming it.

LaMadameCholet · 20/10/2023 17:47

Massive melodrama. Frankly I’m just relieved that A & B have bought some food as it sounds as if they’re barely capable of such adult tasks. I hope they manage to coordinate eating it. 🙄

Stravaig · 20/10/2023 17:49

A and B are both being twats inflexible and ungracious; you are perfectly matched, which thank all the gods spares the world at large from dealing with either or both of you.

See, there's a happy ending 🤣❣️

millymog11 · 20/10/2023 18:01

not read the whole thread but am assuming from the OP that A and B are first year freshers who have just arrived at a student house and are so inept at domestic life that co-operation around food delivery as well as how the washing machine works and such like is currently beyond all involved.