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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked a mum where she got her kids coat from. Mine turns up in the same one. Aitah?

321 replies

Sophie1029734 · 20/10/2023 09:03

Hi all so they are in nursery. I saw a little girl in their class with a gorges coat on, I asked where it was from and she tells me. Its not a known site, quite a unique coat and stands out a lot. Anyway I got it for lo with no intention of my little girl wearing it to school, was just when we went shopping etc as I didn't want to take the light away from something she found.

I've been telling my little girl it's broke or dirty which is why she can't wear it to school. We were in a rush this morning and I turn round and she has put it on and trying to zip it up, saying she wants to be the same and look like a ballerina too. I pretended I couldn't zip it up and that it was broken then said let's put this one on instead. She just started to cry and refused to take it off, I was already late as it is and couldn't keep fighting her with it so we just left and I took her to school with it on.

The whole way I felt so guilty and sad like I stole something, I felt so wrong for it.

I won't put it on her again for school, I'll hide it from now on unless we go anywhere else but to the school.

But I'm so nervous, I didn't see the woman this morning at drop off but I may at pick up. I feel so guilty omg.

OP posts:
LouOrange · 20/10/2023 17:49

Toddlers are notoriously emotionally damaged by wearing the same outfit as a friend. She’ll never be able to attend a cocktail party as an adult. Such a shame.

SmileyClare · 20/10/2023 18:01

Id wonder if (a card) was a passive aggressive dig

That made me laugh.😂
I suppose it just goes to show that we’re all flawed humans- most of us are walking around with some level of anxiety and paranoia in social situations .
Don’t assume everyone else has life all sussed out op 🙂

Poppysmom22 · 20/10/2023 19:14

Little kids love to be the same just let her wear the coat she obviously loves

beanii · 21/10/2023 12:02

You're over thinking this.

Just make sure it's well labelled and be grateful your child will put a coat on - in a few years it will be a battle.

Oh and don't lie to your child - just say it's not suitable for school etc 🤷‍♀️

CrazyCatLadyCat · 21/10/2023 12:04

Surely this is a joke??

Isthisasgoodasitis · 21/10/2023 12:11

My daughter walked into school today wearing the exact dress the teacher was 🤦‍♀️🤣 thank SHEIN for that 🤣🤣

Koalalady · 21/10/2023 12:13

You’re quite young aren’t you? If the other mum has a problem with it she is immature too. You should not be stressing about such silly things but we’ve all been there. When I was a young mum I’d have worried about things like this too.. just relax. It’s highly unlikely she will say anything other than Awh that looks cute on her!

Koalalady · 21/10/2023 12:15

And don’t keep lying to your child! She will never trust you. Once in a while is ok but telling her every day for school it’s broken but she can wear it out of school!?

Poppyfun1 · 21/10/2023 12:28

Just say it’s a not a coat for school. If I was the mum of the other little girl it wouldn’t bother me one iota. Wait till she a teenager and they all look and dress the same 😂😂

Lovemyones · 21/10/2023 12:30

I had this it was actually scary, she would see my son in something not say a word, buy her son it and then say things like have you seen this I got it from so and so a place as if it wasn't already in my son's wardrobe. Very distinct stuff, some even vintage too that she would have had to scout out. It all came to a head when my brother followed her across the town thinking her son was his nephew as she'd put him in identical clothes grown his hair the same and identical hat that I said something. That said, one item of clothing that someone had complimented would be flattering!

MrsSkylerWhite · 21/10/2023 12:31

If the other mum is worried, she’s bloody odd.
Wouldn't give it a moment’s thought.

happylittlesloth · 21/10/2023 12:36

I didn't want to take the light away from something she found. weird

momonpurpose · 21/10/2023 12:41

Lord you cannot be serious??? Beyond over dramatic.

gamerchick · 21/10/2023 12:47

Probably already been covered. Yes it's a get a grip moment.

Can we please knock up the AITA crap though? This isn't Reddit, it's nothing like Reddit. Thank god.

lottiegarbanzo · 21/10/2023 12:47

You're taking out your weird anxieties on your poor dd. Stop that.

Get the poor child a coat she can wear when she needs a coat. That's all you need. If you do have an 'everyday coat' and a 'special occasions coat' for her, then keep the everyday one accessible and put the special one away where a child can't reach it. Not so complicated surely?

ilovesushi · 21/10/2023 12:48

If I was going to get the same coat as my child's friend I would mention it to the mum particularly if it wasn't from the usual run of the mill high street shops. When my DD was little she had a very sweet coat from Joules and her best friend's mum asked if I would mind if she got her own DD the same coat. I was 100% fine with it but I did appreciate that she had asked.

Hellenabe · 21/10/2023 12:50

I'd hate this and be embarrassed to wear it.

Mommabearof8 · 21/10/2023 12:52

Ooft! Ffs man if that’s all you’ve got to stress about then please swap lives with me! Get a grip and let the wee one wear the jacket. Canny believe you even took the time to post about it here? 🫣

PlantDoctor · 21/10/2023 12:59

Hate that you're lying to your kid about shit like this.

Paddleboarder · 21/10/2023 13:00

Tell the other mum if you see her that your daughter loved the coat so much she really wanted one the same. It's a compliment, if anything. It's not a big deal, let her wear it to the nursery, of course she doesn't understand why you don't want her to.

SpudleyLass · 21/10/2023 13:08

Another vote for wanting to see the coat, Op.

I do empathise with the anxiety and overthinking, as I am very similar but yes, you need to let your DD wear the coat.

SmileyClare · 21/10/2023 13:10

Hellenabe · 21/10/2023 12:50

I'd hate this and be embarrassed to wear it.

Yeah you would look a bit silly wearing a 3 year old’s coat

SmileyClare · 21/10/2023 13:16

gamerchick · 21/10/2023 12:47

Probably already been covered. Yes it's a get a grip moment.

Can we please knock up the AITA crap though? This isn't Reddit, it's nothing like Reddit. Thank god.

Edited

I assumed op had copied this thread from Reddit when I saw the AITAH or posted on both forums.
I would imagine it generated a similar consensus- albeit less tactful. 🤨

MrsB74 · 21/10/2023 13:21

I’ve never really understood why people panic about wearing the same thing as someone else - it’s inevitable that it’ll happen from time to time, especially when you asked her where she bought it. You are way over thinking this. Who really cares if someone else has the same coat? You’ll pass on those insecurities to your daughter too if you are not careful.

Littlemisslaughalot · 21/10/2023 13:22

@funinthesun19 @Sophie1029734 exactly what I'm thinking, you're crying over guilt because of how a stranger might feel yet are lying to your daughter daily!? I think you need to have a firm word with yourself!! I know several over thinkers bit this one wins an award!!!