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Original poster

Dinner with friends predicament...

349 replies

alwaysstrivingforinnerpeace · 19/10/2023 12:30

Rather than asking if I'm being unreasonable, I think I'd just like some honest advice please!
For my birthday my employer gifted me a voucher for an expensive restaurant in my local town. The voucher was for £300 and to be honest, at that restaurant, you could easily spend that on dinner for two once you've had a few cocktails and a bottle of wine!
Me and my partner don't get to go out much - we rarely have a babysitter and not a lot of spare cash to be dining out together, especially somewhere like that!
We had friends round a few weeks ago and I told them about my voucher and after a few wines thought it would be a great idea to invite my friend and her girlfriend to join us. They have no kids so a lot more spare cash than us, so dining out is a weekly thing for them.
I'm a real over-thinker and as the date is approaching I'm starting to worry.
When the bill arrives how would you expect to split in? Would you put the voucher in then split the remainder between the two couples? Would you put the voucher in then expect them to pay the rest of the bill? The closer it gets the more anxious I'm getting. I don't want to upset our friends but also can't really afford to fork out loads on the night.
What do you think? What would you do? I'm regretting inviting them now but I know uninviting them isn't an option!
Please help!

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 22/10/2023 10:25

you carried on commenting with your patronising …
hope you’ve enjoyed it

I didn't carry on; I answered you!

It's fine; you're correct - you're free to post what you want.

daisychain01 · 22/10/2023 10:29

alwaysstrivingforinnerpeace · 19/10/2023 12:41

I agree, I wish I hadn't.

Show quote history

I haven't read the whole thread so dozens of posters may have already suggested thi -

Just tell your friend you've already used the voucher so can you agree that the dinner bill will be split 50/50?

Coffeepot72 · 22/10/2023 10:31

Sodie · 19/10/2023 12:46

Honestly I would cancel the friends and just go on the quiet with husband.

This

daisychain01 · 22/10/2023 10:36

^ I agree.

Vouchers to pay for a meal is best done when there isn't the added complication of "who pays for what".

BrightYellowButtercup · 22/10/2023 17:44

twilightcafe · 19/10/2023 12:42

Now you've told the friends about the voucher, if you go for a meal at that restaurant then you should put the £300 credit into the kitty and split the remainder of the bill between the four of you.

This

amiboverd · 22/10/2023 18:55

just split the bill in two between the two couples and if the voucher more than covers your half you could generously offer them the rest to them and if it's less than pay the difference but it's possible they think it covers all of you depending on what you said.

it's really silly if you now end up spending money on their dinner when it was your birthday gift

ScartlettSole · 23/10/2023 09:36

Theres a lot of people on here who clearly havent chatted nonsense after a few wines 😅

Youve got tipsy, drunk you overshared and now sober you is left in a pickle! Phone your friend and be honest, just say you havent had alone time for a while and you fancy making a date night of it but are they free for a get together at another time.

scehg888 · 23/10/2023 19:14

Ill tell you one thing love . People take the piss . The more thay got the more thay wont . I cant believe some people's prioritys .i know its a bit late know but next time if you ever get the chance again . Just you and your partner go out . Go wild make the most of it and injoy your selfs . Dont worry about other people thay look after them selfs . And im sorry you and your partner didnt have a lovely time blrss you both

Crafthead · 23/10/2023 19:20

Throw in the voucher, then split the rest 3 ways. But tell them in advance this is going to happen.

WildcatHaven · 23/10/2023 19:25

I realise that the dilemma has been solved. In this scenario though I think you have to put the full voucher towards the total and then split the remaining bill between the couples. As the voucher holder this is what I would do. If I was the guest, upon presentation of the voucher by the voucher holder - I would insist that me and my partner pay for anything over and above the voucher (assuming it is not more than double the voucher)

If the excess was more than double the voucher I would agree to going halves on the balance I think.

It would be such poor form to make this offer to go for dinner with the voucher and then try to use the voucher for your own food only or try and use most of it for yourself.

Meeziemee · 23/10/2023 19:32

I'd expect to put the voucher in and split the remainder four ways.

Adca · 23/10/2023 20:59

Cancel the dinner then go a few weeks later with hubby.

Mandy90d · 23/10/2023 20:59

Well as you said its a very expensive restaurant so the voucher will probably cover just what you and your partner spend, Anything left over may as well help cover the rest as whatever is left wouldn't be enough to use on another night there. Enjoy yourselves and don't hold back what you and your partner spend, it is your present.

Josell12345 · 24/10/2023 07:57

No brainer- 2 options, 1 is you throw in the £300 and let them pay the rest up to £300. Or halve the bill and use your gift for your share as a couple. Baffled why anyone would suggest your partners pays 1/4.
Baffled why anyone would think you shouldnt have told them about the voucher, its natural to share good news. Dangerous after a drink (ive booked holidays after a drink, amazing what seems like a good idea)

Josell12345 · 24/10/2023 07:58

100% not. Think of it as £300 cash. Use it that way

avemariiiaa · 24/10/2023 08:26

I would put in the voucher for you and your partner (assuming it more than covers what you both ordered) then expect the rest of the table to split between themselves. I wouldn't be paying anything in addition to my voucher, but would be happy for any left over voucher funds to go towards my friends bill before they split.

Might be wise to have a casual conversation beforehand to make sure this is clear to everyone.

Only a cheeky fucker would expect a friend to put in a £300 voucher then be included in splitting the remaining balance too. Just look at the £300 as cash.

ellyeth · 24/10/2023 12:35

Have you any idea what the likely cost of a meal there will be? Is it likely to be something like £100 a head, ie. £400 for all of you? Are you OK with putting all the value of your voucher in to cover some or all of the cost? I think, provided the overall cost isn't over £500, your friends should cover the remainder.

I know some are saying making an excuse and cancel with your friends but I get the feeling you might feel uncomfortable doing that. It is an option though.

Josell12345 · 24/10/2023 20:50

Who is the nutter who thinks you use a birthday gift to pay for your friends and pay your meal yourself? Knowing your financial situation as well! Absolutely not a reasonable suggestion, batshit.

Josell12345 · 24/10/2023 20:53

Youre 100% right.
Who expects to pay fpr everyone elses meal ever? Only if youre mega loaded or its your kids youre taking out

Rustiered · 24/10/2023 22:50

Josell12345 · 24/10/2023 20:50

Who is the nutter who thinks you use a birthday gift to pay for your friends and pay your meal yourself? Knowing your financial situation as well! Absolutely not a reasonable suggestion, batshit.

And who are the friends who freeload on someone else’s gift - many on here it seems - I find it really surprising that someone would expect their friends to pay for their food.

Itwasamemo1 · 24/10/2023 23:08

HNRTFT but now you have invited your friends ,who I imagine is because you like their company then I would use the voucher to reduce the main bill . Then split the rest between you .

Josell12345 · 25/10/2023 10:05

Absolutely. I actually thought surely the friends would make sure it was fair.

Josell12345 · 25/10/2023 10:24

100%

bunnymad01 · 25/10/2023 10:32

If your friend is a true friend, they will understand if you say... Money is a bit tight for us as you know but i just wanted to make it clear that the voucher will be paying for mine and hubby's meal in full, then I'm happy to put anything left(if there is any) towards the rest of the bill. Do a face to face or phone call so you can guage the response. If they are are not happy with paying, they may cancel but that's ok as it's an expensive restaurant.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing but not really helpful in my opinion😊

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